Alcoholic husband?

Question

My husband has picked up drinking every night this past year and I'm tired of it... We have sex about 1-2 times a month and have 2 kids... Anytime i mention alcohol, he doesn't want to talk about it, I hate it and for that reason don't want sex with him, how do i get him to stop?

Answer 1

Here is the best advice you can get anywhere. Call Alcoholics Anonymous and ask them to direct you to the nearest Ala-non meeting. It is free and they have the best help anywhere in the world.

Knowledge is your best weapon.

Write me anytime I know a lot about this problem.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that. I am going thru the same, we have been together for 7 years and this has been going on for well over a year. Having kids, as I do (2) does not help at all. You always feel like you have to make up for his actions when drinking. It is not easy, they never think they have a problem. The intimacy doesn't seem to bother them, I dint know why. I will say that maybe in time he will come around. If you are unhappy and do not have any close relationship with him may be he will get to a point that he will miss that and try to help himself. He has to want to quit for him, as well as his family. Its an emotional roller coaster for you I'm sure. Its very hard to figure out what to do, If you leave you will miss the person you love and if you stay you still miss the person that you keep hoping you ll get back. If he would stop drinking you could start working on the two of you. Tell him you are willing to help him and will be there for him any way you can if he tries.

Best of luck, love to hear how it turns out and how u r doing. been there and still doing it! Things are getting better so there is hope!

Answer 3

If he is an alcoholic, he will never want to talk about it. Withholding sex to get him to stop drinking won't work either if he is an alcoholic.

Alcoholism is not a choice, it is a disease. You need to get some help for yourself before you can be of help to him. Inform yourself about alcoholism and determine to the best of your abilities if he really is afflicted.

Check the web, there are hundreds of sites that could help you. Check out your local Alcoholics Anonymous chapter. If he won't go, they can still help you to help him.

I also have someone in my life that is having problems with alcohol. Unfortunately, we can't do a whole lot for them until they are ready to admit they have a problem and agree to get help.

Keep your chin up, take care of your kids and make sure that when he is drinking they are safe.

Good Luck - you probably have a long road ahead of you, but you've already taken the first steps!

Answer 4

I'm sure this is a tough situation for you to be in. My mother was with an alcoholic for over 15 years. Not until she finally put her foot down and was ready to divorce him and take all of us with her did he finally stop his habit. My father has been clean for almost 15 years now. Your husband needs a wake up call. Also, you need to get into some kind of therapy for people who live with alcoholics. It's one thing to be unfair to yourself and just deal with his lifestyle, but you are NOT being fair to the kids. Let him know that if he does not get help for his alcoholism that you will leave. BUT YOU NEED TO STAND FIRM. You don't deserve this and neither do these two poor children. One thing is for certain, nobody can make someone quit a bad habit like this. The person with the problem has to want to get better.

I wish you the best.

Answer 5

There's no way to get an alcoholic to stop. If he's violent when he drinks, you should leave. If he's not, maybe you still should. It's scary to break away, but that's not the man you married. He's the only one that can stop. You have to make him decide what's more important. His family or the hooch. It sounds easy from your point of view, but alcoholism is tricky. With 2 kids around, do you want him getting plowed on the couch every night? Ask him what my wife asked me: do you want your daughter to grow up and marry that? It's the example she has. Or son grow up and be like that? It's the example he has.

Answer 6

What made him start drinking? You say it started in the last year but you have two kids? He must have been alright not drinking for a while. Something has changed, you need to find out what it is, and how you can help him.

Answer 7

I understand your situation ......and its hard to correct the person who engage into alcohol maybe the better way is first is confrontation why he cannot leave the alcohol ?Is there any problem because it is not only for companionship but they get drunk because there is existing problem...and seek other who can help your husband to quit or minimize the alcohol......

Answer 8

An alcoholic husband will never stop drinking even if you begged him and he will only stop when he fells that it is time to quit and sober up.

Answer 9

stop nagging him about it. you need to think about if you can live like this for the rest of your life. your husband is sick and he needs help. maybe you can get brochures about the subject and leave around the house. maybe you can tell that you are unhappy with the sex life that is pretty non existent and that if he doesnt seek help ASAP you will have to make some decisions for you and the kids mental state. GodBless

Answer 10

You can't make anyone stop drinking if they don't want to stop.
BUT you need to take care of yourself....do you can take care of your children.
Please go to Alanon.
They can help you get perspective and also help you see what you can do to help your husband.
Please call Alanon.
You will be surprised to see a cross section of society...ministers, doctors, nurses, bamk presidents.
You don't have to live like this........there are answers.