My wife of 8 years has pretty much been fed up with my crap. I have not been a great husband for a while now. I haven't done anything to help. I emotionally cheated, so nothing physical. I've just been an ***. Over the past couple of months, after she told me she was on the verge of leaving, I have completely changed the way I do things, my priorities have changed, I'm motivated to make it work (maybe too much). It's sad that it took this, but I've realized she's the one I want forever. She's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I truly have changed in more ways than one. I tend to get over anxious to make things right. It's hard to love so much and get little in return. I know how she felt.
2007-11-12 17:29:27 · 21 answers · asked by friendofcheeba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It takes time, and nothing else. Don't try to overdo it, she'll lose respect for you and it won't work. Just do the right thing and time will heal and change the relationship. Been there.
2007-11-12 17:32:08 · answer #1 · answered by cindy h 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
So your walking on thin ice, it doesn't mean you've drowned yet.
I would give her a little space, and just try to be as attentive as possible, when she wants your attention...Maybe try buying her flowers, don't make a spectacle of it, but leave them on a table with a little card..without saying anything or pointing it out, Help around the house, offer to do things like put up the dishes or cook dinner, women can't say no to that...Maybe write a letter apologizing for everything and telling her how much she means to you, and how much you appreciate her. Tell her when she's ready, you want to take her on a romantic trip, just the two of you, as a fresh start...Proving to her that she can fully trust you will take alot of time, but the best way to do that is to be honest and give her no reason to doubt you, and most of all to do everything in your power to make her feel as loved and appreciated as possible, just don't go crazy all at once, because then it looks like you just want a temporary fix, and you're looking to make a life-long change (i hope).
2007-11-12 17:38:25 · answer #2 · answered by chels. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy, been there done that. You have to prove it to yourself, not her that you are truly capable of change. Sometimes we think by moving a chair to a different place in the room is a change, its not. The walls stay in the same and that is who you are right now. Don't read into change too much just set your goal as to what you want too keep in your life and make sure it does. It's not worth loosing your wife, believe me you will pay a very big price for that, not just emotional price, but financial one too. Good luck!
2007-11-12 17:47:16 · answer #3 · answered by apalo13_2000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words. Taking the initiative to step up and take care of some things that will make her life a little easier. Do some of the things she wants you to do BEFORE she even has to ask. That will help prove to her you mean business. When you willingly do some of the everyday things that drive her to distraction it will ease her mind and give her a reason to believe you will be responsible and a willing participant in the marriage. Believe me, if the garbage is dumped or the dishes are done it will get her attention. But don't slack off. Everyone has to help with everyday chores. If she left you, you would have to do these things anyway. Expecting her to do it makes her feel like your slave and no one is going to like that!. Just get involved and stay involved.
2007-11-12 17:39:05 · answer #4 · answered by MissWong 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh! You're just like I am! My wife makes too much money and I can't afford to move out on my own! It's a bad feeling to be stuck in a situation like that. I'm kidding! I would keep doing what you're doing because it took 8 years to build up to this and it'll take awhile to fix it. You can't just put a bandaid on this one. Women hold grudges forever. Guys will just go out in the yard and slug it out and afterwards have a beer together. Women will hold the anger in for a long long long time. And many years from now when you can't even remember it anymore and you're in a fight, she'll throw it back up in your face again. It's all part of that invisible wall-building they do. Just hang in there.
2007-11-12 17:36:42 · answer #5 · answered by Johnnny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-29 03:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very happy for you. You sound that you really want to be different this time and not to ruin your own life by your own action. Action speaks louder than words. You should give her hope & show her that you are trying hard to be a better person. And remember keep your promises! If you say that you would do, you must do it. If you can't keep your promises, just do not say anything! Life is short to waste time by doing craps. You know that by now. Check this out, this few words can tell you something. Good Luck! Don't blow it. Respect yourself, your loved ones, and your life.
http://www.elainehall.us/actionsspeaklouderthanwords.htm
2007-11-12 17:45:00 · answer #7 · answered by Q 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well just know that she may still leave your butt. because when a woman is fed up there is NOTHING you can do. its nice that you GREW up but it maybe TOO LATE. at this point you need to show her more so than talking about it. and be consistent and honest. and dont stop once you think things are good. if you start help with the house cleaning continue it. GodBless
2007-11-12 17:45:55 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try telling her what you just wrote. Open up to her and see what happens. She may leave you anyway, but if you've really changed and want to prove it to her, then prove it. Don't be afraid of who you are. If you want her to stay, understand that she's hurting. It may be a long road for both of you, but it may be worth it. Nothing in this world that's worth having is attained easily. You're gonna have to work you *** off for it. Good luck.
2007-11-12 17:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by mree 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who was with a man liken you. After awile, she was just ' worn down' by this man. Basically, he is a good man and she's trying to see that again... but a lot of emotional bruising has taken place. I guess just hang in there and be on your best behavior.
I don't get it. My friend is smart, funny, and very attractive. What guy wouldn't appreciate a wife like her?
2007-11-12 17:36:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋