How do I get my 13yr old son to knock off the attitude!!?

Question

I'm sitting here trying to figure out where the heck I went wrong. My son went from loving and respectful to rude and inconsiderate, not just to me and his father but to his younger brother and sister. I know the hormone thing has a lot to do with it but I'm not sure I'm cut out for this! LOL Any help would be appreciated. Is 13 too old for being grounded? I'm thinking that would just make his attitude even worse. Serious advice please. thanks

Answer 1

Mom of a 16 year old boy here. I completely understand your frustration. My son went "sour" around 13 also. He was the sweetest and loving child and all of a sudden, a devil in basketball jerseys and sneakers.

So, here's how I handle it. First of all, I try not to yell or get too mad. I think that it adds fuel to the flames. I'm as calm as ever when he says something mean to his little sister. Then I tell him that he was wrong and don't let it happen again or we're gonna have some problems. He usually doesn't care when I say things like that but trust me he listens. If he's too nasty, I'll tell him that he can't do something that I know he's looking forward to doing, i.e. basketball practice, weekend party, etc. You have to stick to it. And to specifically answer your question, no, 13 is not too old to be grounded. In fact, its the perfect age.

A little more advice. When your son is in a good mood, talk to him and tell him your concerns. Tell you love him and you need him to work on making some changes. You can't only tell them this when they are being nasty.

My son is 16 now and the attitude has, for the most part, gone away. So there is hope for you. Now, he's more interested in being a lover boy...lol. Hopefully things will lighten up for you too. Just remember, he's your same loving baby, just with raging hormones.

Answer 2

To answer this, I say that 13 years old is not too old to ground anyone because he's still a child. IMO, he is looking for attention and guidance and he needs your support for it. I have a 13 year old niece that does the same thing to my mom and she still gets punished. that means no phone, no going out except to school and back, and no pc or tv. if you punish him, you should stick by it and let him know that your're not punishing him because you hate him, but because you love him and you want him to do better and be a batter person. try also spending some one on one time with him and talk to him. ask him why he is acting out like this, maybe then he will open up to you and that way you all can get to the root of the problem. hope this helps you.

Answer 3

13 is not too old for being grounded. What does he love to do/have? Make it a privilege and not a "right" - and let him know it. Follow through. Follow through. Follow through. Not following through when a punishment is given - is the biggest mistake parents make. If you tell him he can't go out for a week - then make sure he doesn't go out for a week. If you take away video games for a day - take them away for a WHOLE day. Follow through.

Know too - that the attitude is pretty normal for a 13 year old. But disrespect is not okay.

Answer 4

I think that you might want to enforce some discipline now, because this is a great age to show him. Other kids around this age is usually where they start to try things, such as drugs, sex, and trouble.

It sounds like your a great mom. I think that you should just sit him down and talk to him about his attitude, let him know that you are hurt about this attitude and you would like some respect!

Let him know that he should be thankful for having you and your husband. I would try to talk to him about it and see what he has to say. I know a lot of families don't really take time to sit their kids down for a talk, they only do when there is a problem going on. I think that just a random day ask him to talk. LOL sounds like a lifetime movie :)

Good Luck and I hope that things work fine for your family!

Answer 5

Give him time. He will get on your nerves and you will want to strangle him to death repeatedly until he gets over it, but when a 13 boy gets moody and doesn't want to talk to mom and dad anymore, prying or trying to talk it out of him will just make things worse.

You could try to think of some day trips or other activities that would be so much fun for him to do - even with his boring old parents and annoying siblings - that he couldn't possibly be in a bad mood all day.

At this age, kids are just trying to make sure you know that they are adults and that they don't need your help or advise for anything. They'll realize they're wrong in few years. If you can tough it out for a while, it will almost certainly get better eventually.

On the other hand, don't let him get away with stuff with his siblings. They shouldn't have to suffer because he's moody. This is the time when it is appropriate to punish him and not worry about whether or not he gets even angrier with you.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Talk to him! Ask him to look the mirror and reflect on what HE has done. These people that think boot camp and severe punishment is the ONLY answer they are wrong.

Growing up is all about learning and yelling and fighting will only teach someone one thing and that is that it is wrong.

Never raise your voice you get your opinion or ideas across, allow him to say what he thinks and his views and take him seriously, the whole "I do it because I love you" crap never works, you have to explain why, give examples and show him that you love him and let him come to you and show you that he understands and can see his errors,

This is a great things to do with your kids, I hope it all works out! Tell me how it goes!

Thanks!

Answer 7

13 years is definitely not too old for grounding.
He's still a child. He may not feel that way but he certainly acts that way.

Make it clear to him that as he grows up, he's entitled to his own freedom and opinions; that his freedom and opinions will be respected at times.
But he also lives in your house. He's a guest. So he sticks to the rules. Rules can be discussed but never broken without consequences. If he does not behave like a guest, privileges can be taken away.

Answer 8

13 is good for grounding. I never get grounded cause I'm such an angel, but I know around people my age,16 and 17, who get grounded. Grounding means he gets to do his homework, and that's about it. He doesn't need any mercy, take it all away! Don't let him go out with his friends or give him money for stuff when he's being a turd. You can either beat his skinny @$$, or take away something, or threaten to cut out his food supply, he'll be saying his pleases and thank yous after that.

His biggest issue right now is that he desperately wants to get laid, like more than you even know. And of course he's not getting laid, and shaking hands with the president doesn't have the same reward level. So you can get him a French hooker, or just let him being all hormonal. Don't get intimated by him, you support the 8th grader, so he should respect you. I'm surprised your husband hasn't beat this crap out of him if he's being a little punk.

Make him submit now, don't wait till he gets older. He's probably going to be continue to be rude and disrespectful for awhile, and that's not hormones alone, he's just out of control. I have hormones, my friends have hormones, we still have hormones, and I can't think of anyone whose as immature as your 13 year old. Tell him to grow the **** up and that is not your fault he can't get any.

Answer 9

He is not too old to be grounded. Are you sure that he is not on drugs? If his attitude gets worse when you ground him then you need to ground him to his room. He should be allowed out to eat and to go to the bathroom and that is it. Stick to your punishment and do not give in to him. He will find that it is better to behave than to be grounded.

Answer 10

its very easy...are your ready?
next time he starts running his month its called a back hand to his month he will learn really fast you don't say that kinda stuff to mommie!
grounding won't work trust me and if you let him get away w/ this now its just gonna rub off on his sisters and brother even faster and younger!!