I been with my bf for 5 years and well he cheated on me and i also talked to the girl after that he stop taking to her i think but not sure and i want to trust him again what can i do? how can i forgive him? how can i trust him again?
2007-11-12 16:39:39 · 29 answers · asked by Moon_Rabbit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yo have to find it within yourself to forgive, but it is very personal and you may never find it to do so
2007-11-12 16:44:07 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do . You either trust him or you don't. There is no guarantee to know if trusting him or not would be a good decision. He can decide to be a good man and he may decide to go on cheating. these things are never predictable. I would advise you to start living your life in a way that you wouldn't have to suffer in case he did some silly thing to you like cheating. It is time for you to understand that you cannot change a man's mind or behavior by trusting him. Love make us want to do strange sacrifices. Keep loving hi, if you thinks this makes you happy otherwise quit, because it would be silly to stay.
2007-11-13 00:48:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im going thru the same exact thing,i know pretty much how you are feeling i think!!! At first I couldnt think of anything else but them two together, I couldnt eat i couldnt sleep,id get so damn tired id finally cry myself to sleep,, I know it hurts sooooo badly I want to forgive him but i never will, I truely hate him for this but were still together, There are the days when I just sit here and think of nothing else but them together and how the hell could he have done this to us? But I dont think they were thinking about how we would feel.. Sometimes I wonder how would he like it if i did the same thing to him?/
I think that maybe we wouldnt be together cause there is no way he would put up with me doing that to him!!! I will never fully trust him ever again man just thinking about it gets me all worked up!! So Sorry!!! my answer to you is this if you really think you can stand putting up with your mind always wondering if hes cheating then try and move forward with your relationship!!! But if you really cant hang with this situation get out before he totally crushes you if he hasnt yet!!!!! If you ever need to just talk heres my email,lamsontina2002@yahoo.com Good Luck
2007-11-13 03:25:36 · answer #3 · answered by lamsontina2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been dealing with my on again off again boy for 7. I am kinda in the same boat as you are except we have children.
I called the girl mine was cheating with from his phone...is that possible for you to do? She answered the phone all giggly and crap and I knew from the get go what was going on. She confirmed what was going on for me and my children's father and I did not talk for over a year. He went to jail and called me...turned out he was in jail for domestic violence against her...We still talk and he is trying to get me back, but I just do not trust him. He tells me nothing is going on, but I have heard that before. I find things that do not make sense if he is not cheating, you know?
I honestly do not think you can ever fully trust someone who has cheated on you. It will always be in the back of your mind. If you really want things to work out, go to counseling. If he is unwilling to go, he is probably not as into the relationship as you are. Most females do not like to know their "man" is lying and cheating on them...I am sure the other girl would let you know. I know you have a lot on your plate to deal with right now, I think you are smart enough to figure out, if you think you can trust him. After 5 years, you know the man pretty well regardless of whether you think you do or not...what do you think. There are some websites that discuss issues like this, but do not drive yourself crazy...do what is best for you. Just be prepared for the outcome of your decision. It is hard to leave, but do you want to deal with someone who is going to hurt you like this possibly more than once?
2007-11-13 04:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by fattychic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not what you can do to trust him, it is what HE CAN DO to earn your trust back.. once he has earned your trust back, you will be able to forgive him..
You also need to decide whether you will be resentful towards him as a result of his cheating, cause it is pointless him trying to earn your trust and forgiveness if you can't move past the fact he has cheated.
I hope it works out the way you want it to.
2007-11-13 00:50:34 · answer #5 · answered by mumma.stench 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you plan on staying with him you really need to look at the reasons why he cheated. The reason won't go away because he says sorry. I believe once you work out the true reasons for his cheating, you'll figure out whether the relationship is worth salvaging and if you can trust him again.
2007-11-13 00:48:12 · answer #6 · answered by Tracey H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is a deal breaker to me. I would dump him so fast he couldn't dial his other gf's phone number. Five years is a long time in a relationship. It is long enough for him to figure out if he really wants to be in it or not. The point of a relationship is to be a couple that is committed to each other. If one cheats, then that shows he isn't interested in being in the relationship.
My dad cheated on my mom when I was 6. I have very strong feelings about cheaters since my family broke up because of it. There are sooo many other men out there that will treat you with respect. I would dump him.
2007-11-13 00:44:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you said that you want to forgive him ,simply you have to take a long walk alone and talk about your problems.
If you want to trust him again ask him if he is going to change and if he will tell you yes ,don't trust him with his answer ,maybe he is lying .You have to make sure that he is going to do everything about your relationship!!!
2007-11-13 00:49:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Amen to Malina M. She should get Best Answer. You aren't going to find a more straightforward POV than that. She's completely correct. He should know if he wants to be with you or not...you are in for another 5 more years of uncertainty and drama if you stay with this guy. There are other people out there who you KNOW will not do what this guy did to you and won't leave you jaded.
2007-11-13 01:15:33 · answer #9 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie its not so much of you trusting him again. he has to EARN your trust. he has to show you on the daily that he wants the relationship and that his cheating was a one time thing and it will never happen again. so at this point his on him. you will never really trust him like you did. that total trust is gone never to return, but you can learn to trust him again. it going to take some work, commitment and communication on both parts in order for it to work, GodBless
2007-11-13 01:01:01 · answer #10 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive him but you will never forget. If you decide to forgive, don't dwell on the past. Decide it is over and done with. If you dwell on what he has done, you will drive yourself crazy. My husband cheated on me shortly after our 8th anniversary. We split for a year then got back together. We just celebrated 19 years in August. You can have a good relationship, you just have to decide what you want and put the past behind you. You will never forget what he did, it will always be in the back of your mind, just don't dwell on it. Get passed it.
2007-11-13 00:45:14 · answer #11 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋