Christmas Irritation?

Question

for the past few years me + my hubbie have had Christmas at our place. my parents come, my younger brother, his girlfriend and my Aunt (go to my hubbie's family on Christmas Eve) well this year my younger brother decided that he is having Christmas at his house. well its not his house he rents with a friend. he didnt call and ask me if a i minded just decided he was having it.. because this year he is working and has money. unlike last year he showed up here and said i dont have anything for anybody cause i am broke and had to make my car payment.its not the lack of presents that i care about. it his attitude. when he has money he throws it around like its nothing and when he is broke he is the biggest jerk + every 1 should feel sorry for him.Well my question is do i have the right to be mad? i know it petty and we should just show up there.. but he should have gone about it better.+ i have a 14 month old daughter and his place isnt baby proofed + i have lug all her stuff in the cold

JR you dont have children do you? his house is not baby proofed for a walking toddler. i would have to bring High chair, playpen, all the presents.. and yes i do have a problem with him.. he is broke every other month and begs me for money and owes me 3 grand and now he wants to take over having Christmas ,Which has been my tradition? yes Christmas is about family and love and everything i get that.. i am not some kid. and yes i do rent.. but its not his place.. he just lives there.

i dont expect his place to be toddler proofed .. it was just my point that it will be easier for us to stay here because all of my daughter's stuff is here.

Answer 1

I agree with you. I too, have a little one. Ever since I gave birth(5 years ago), Christmas's have always been at my place to save me the time and energy of having to "Lug" all her belongings with me. And JR. Going to the store, Mall, cetra cetra etc DOESN"T involve, Lugging a HUGE PlayPen that is Cumbersome, BUYING baby-proofing locks, a GATE to keep baby contained, Diaper bag with enough supplies to last 24+ hours, ALL the TOYS that she considers a favorite, her high-chair, AND all the little gee-gaws that go along with having a baby/infant. I'd Say, SCREW your brother, since he went about it this way. Tell your family that your hosting it at your house to save YOUR back from strenous stress. He is a jerk and an inconsiderate ****** if he believes that just cause he has money gives him the right to say "i am hosting the tradition this year" without consulting everybody first to get a feel. And JR. HE IS LIVING WITH SOMEBODY! who knows what that person is like! Its not like living on your own, in your OWN home/Apartment(EVEN if your just renting it, its still your OWN home, since your not renting only a room). Again I'd say Contact everybody that normally comes to your place, inform them that your still hosting it this year and leave it up to them. I bet they'll show up at your residence instead of his, since He sounds like he doesn't hold a job long enough to be "bothered" by having to host it. The baby/infant needs stability, a routine, Disrupting this routine can cost you much needed peace 'n quiet and make you, instead of spending time with family and much merry-making, but instead conformating her and soothing her and trying to palcate her.

Answer 2

Okay though I understand the point of lugging all the baby things around, I believe you should play by ear. Get feedback from the rest of the family, see how they feel about going to his place, rather then going to yours. Then you can simply have xmas at home just the three of you, and then run over to your brother house for a few hours to see the rest of the family. Maybe with opening up new gifts, your toddler won't miss her old toys as much. Either way it only for a few hours, and who know your brother may change his mind last minutes, which of course that will anger you even more. I have brother two (you know) who throws his money around, although at xmas time money always become a little tight, so your brother may come to see that he can't afford to do it at his place, and everyone will be looking for you to pick up the slack, so just be prepared. Dinner may up at your house after all.

Answer 3

I had a hard and fast rule that I had Christmas with my children in my home! BUT, we didn't have family that lived nearby and my stance was that we didn't want to do any overnight traveling at Christmas.

Why not make a concession.... let him have his BIG Christmas! Let him plan and execute it once (he may not do it again for a while) but, then drive over with the baby and have a nice hour of Christmas cheer! Don't be ugly about it though. Just politely explain your reasons VERY briefly and let it go! You may find that you have the best Christmas ever at your home without all the hubbub! Let this be your gracious gift to your brother. After all.... he might be a jerk sometimes but, he is YOUR jerk. Lift him up, and enjoy the day!! Everyone will be back at your house next year...... unless you find out you prefer the quiet!

Last thing: what he is doing is rude. But, gracious people let it go under these circumstances. Just be sure that the family is taking his invitation seriously so that you aren't caught with a house full of people in spite of his change of venue! LOL

Answer 4

I can see both sides. Maybe your bro has grown up a bit? If not, let him waste his money on all the food and what not. But honestly what I would do, is say that his niece would prefer it if she could have Xmas at her house so her mommy doesn't have to lug the diaper bag, the high chair, the play pen, the stroller and all the crap in the cold.

Answer 5

You can be mad... you can also be gracious AND stand your ground all at the same time. Continue to have Christmas at your place. Having the little one automatically grants you every reason in the world to do this, because it's important to maintain her schedule and comfort as best you can. Babies aren't as flexible as adults so their needs take precedence.

Invite your parents and aunt to come over before or after they visit your brother. Be flexible about times and this has a high chance of success. My in-laws have picnic food out all day and their large family comes and goes when convenient. They get visits from everyone.

Don't let his money attitude bother you. He obviously has no clue how to handle it with grace nor class, two things that money can't buy. Do what's right for your and your daughter and never mind the rest.

Answer 6

You're being unresonable. Just because he rents does not mean it's not his house. If you were renting, it would still be your HOUSE! Liven up! He probably feels bad about when he couldn't afford to have it. Do not deny him the pleasure of having family come to his home just because you have had it for a few yrs. The fact that you will have to "lug" your babies things along is no excuse. Sure it might be cold, but don't you go out to the store to shop or visit other friends when it's cold? Sounds to me like you have a problem with your brother. Get over it. Christmas is a time when families are supposed to come together.

Answer 7

God, families are a PITA. Yes he is rude. Ranch goes through the same thing. Last year MIKE had Christmas- totally took it from her, but cant this year cuz Amy's pregnant!!! @ssholes. You could do your thing anyway- but then your inviting family to take sides. Or you could let him do it & go- betcha its too much hassle for him & he'll never wanna do it again. Maybe he's proud of himself for having a place and money & wants everyone to see he's doing well. Maybe you could give him that & resume next year.

Answer 8

Well, I do think that you can be irritated about him deciding to have Christmas without consulting you and the rest of the family. Unless grandparents hold it on a yearly basis, the decision is usually made as a group. This was not fair of him.

However, you don't really have a right to be mad about his house not being toddler-proofed. Most places you go will not be childproof, and it would be silly to expect him to go buy a crib and a playpen, as well as completely redo his home, for you to bring your daughter. I come from a large extended family, and we always have expected to have to provide for our own kids if we were going to a childless home.

Answer 9

>>i'm only thinking the reasoning in the back of the inflammation.<< because of the fact the "Christmas is pagan" people do no longer seem to have the skill to tell apart between the WHAT and the HOW. what's being celebrated is the start of Christ. the way it is widely known differs from place to place and in specific circumstances. the way some people communicate, you will think of little Christian toddlers have been gazing "Rudolph the pink-Nosed Reindeer" in 6th century Africa. You wrote, "aside from the actual tale of Jesus's start, something of the trip is quite much completely secular." there's no "relax of the trip". it is Christmas. no count number how plenty eggnog you drink, no count number many circumstances you sing "Jingle Bells", this is not Christmas except you're celebrating the start of Christ. enable's look at secular birthday celebrations. i will get a cake, i will write "chuffed Birthday" on it, i will submit streamers, i will blow up balloons, i will play "Pin the tail on the Donkey". If i'm no longer celebrating all of us's birthday, is it a social gathering? it ought to look like a social gathering, yet is it particularly? Is there a "relax of the birthday"?