I love my mother dearly, but she's gotten to the point that I have to tell her when to take her medicine and fuss at her when she won't wear her hearing aids. She's frustrated because she can't do the things she used to and I'm frustrated because I see her slowly slipping into old age and I can't get her to understand that she's going to have to start making changes in her lifestyle. She was a wonderful parent to me. I want to be there for her. But I don't want her to resent me for taking care of her when she can't do things for herself. Any advice?
2007-11-12 14:33:59 · 3 answers · asked by NaturalPhotos 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are in a tough spot. There are resources for caregivers. Try social services, local hospital, her doctor, AARP. You can get coaching, teaching, support, both physical and emotional.
2007-11-12 14:44:29 · answer #1 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am pretty much in the same situation..my mother is up there in age and we now live together with my kids. Over the last few years, I have noticed a few things that weren't there before..
Her hearing is bad and she won't wear a hearing aid.. I don't bother her about it..it is her choice. I did get her to agree not to drive outside of town, short distances are fine for now.
She no longer has the strength to things she used and sometimes forgets things we talked about. I am learning to just be patient with her. Lucky for me she doesn't take but 1 type of medication and isn't sick..just aging..
First suggestion would be to not force things on her..find ways to "suggest" she might do things different with your help. It has worked with my mother and just take things in stride...and I doubt she will resent you. It just sounds like she has to come to terms with her aging on her own. My mother is 81 and it was only in the last 4 years she started seeing it.
2007-11-12 22:42:51 · answer #2 · answered by C C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very touchy situation, i've been there, parent's have a lot of trouble giving up that control over their lives. Even though you only want to help and make sure she is ok.
Try to not tell her anything, instead suggest, or hint, or remind her, in a very kind way of course. good luck, have patience.
2007-11-12 22:42:33 · answer #3 · answered by okimreadynow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋