I've found that since I've begun the TTC journey, I have absolutely zero patience for parents who have one or more beautiful children at home who complain to me (knowing about my infertility struggles!) about their inability to get pregnant with MORE. I'm starting to wonder if it's my whacked-out hormones, or if this journey has just turned me into a cynical bitter person... (some parent I'd make, huh? So much for compassion and empathy...)
2007-11-12 12:56:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I respect and understand every person's desire to have the family they want. "Judging" is too strong a word - I'm just wishing for a teensy bit more tact and sensitivity. Baby dust to my sisters who are still hoping and praying to be blessed with their first!!!!
2007-11-12 13:33:20 · update #1
I took real offence to that, but then I thought back to when I was ttc my first. The years the emotions and horrormones (hormones). It was a kind of living hell we create for our selves! I do understand and wish never to go through that pain!
I did end up having a beautiful little girl, which I would love to have another.
You have a right to feel that way, but try not to voice it too much, because we are the ppl why might help you threw the pain, of been there done that!
good luck to everyone!
2007-11-12 15:07:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
Yes. My hubby and I pray that if only we can have one child we will be happy. We have been ttc for 16 months now so we will take anything we can get. I also don't like it when people who know we have been ttc for a while ask if we want a boy or girl. We don't care we just want one that is healthy and happy. I have 2 cousins that are pregnant without even trying and they have no compassion anymore for us it seems. One has invited me to all three of her baby showers. I was thinking one ok but do you have to rub it in 3 times over. She got pregnant from a one night stand and she knows how long we have wanted a baby. I realize that she probably wasn't even thinking about how I would feel. I never ask couples the dreaded "when are you two going to have a baby?" questions. People ask us all the time and finally I am like we have been ttc for 16 months now and there face turns all kinds of red. They don't even stop to think that there could be a problem. But I probably do things daily that offends other people. TTC is just hard and it is harder not to think things personally. Best wishes to you.
2007-11-12 22:02:27 · answer #2 · answered by HONEYB1 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well just because we already have children doesn't mean we want a 2nd or 3rd any less than anyone wanting their first... it isn't fair for you to say that.. It's not anyone's fault that some women can't have a baby or some are having a hard time ttc . everyone has their reasons for wanting more children and everyone needs to respect that...I understand how you feel though...I know your hurting and just get frustrated cuz you want 1 and would be happy with just 1 and there are people wanting a 3rd or 4th... I'm ttc my 4th..I have 2 children from a previous relationship and recently got married and my hubby and I want so much to have a baby together. we lost our little girl 6 weeks ago at 23 weeks pregnant. and I get mad and upset everytime I see a pregnant women..just hang in there..I wish you the best of luck
2007-11-13 00:23:11 · answer #3 · answered by MONA♥ 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Blame it on the hormones :-)
My hubby and I used to "only" want one (ttc#1 for 18 months) and my sister in law would read us the riot about what an awful thing it is to have an only child blah blah blah (she's due with their 4th any day and I'm insanely jealous - that's my hormones being bitter). Lord knows how happy I'd be to have that "only" one now. I feel alot more compassion towards parents with one child these days.
I don't think anyone with kids is in any position to make any judgments or comments about anyone who is going through TTC for the first time. The TTC journey is a long road uphill, each month gets worse and the emotions only get harder to handle. I agree with you, the longer it takes, it's hard NOT to get cynical and bitter, but keep your eye on the prize and don't let the cynical days outnumber the optimistic ones - it's ok to let yourself dream!
~~baby dust to you!~~
2007-11-12 21:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by girlb00 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I have a 3 1/2 year old son and have been TTC for 2 years. I realize that we are very blessed to have our son but I harbor no resentment towards people who have more kids than me- even though I truly desire another. Infertility does not just affect someone who has never been a parent before. We struggled to have our first and now we are struggling again.
The best thing you can do is realize we are all on this journey together. Open your heart a little bit more.
2007-11-12 21:10:36 · answer #5 · answered by ecstaticdevine 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Yes! Some people just don't understand that although they are feeling pain from not being able to give their child a sibling, it just can't compare to the pain that we feel when we don't have any children. It's a completely different type iof pain. They already have gotten to experience the joy of parenthood while we can only dream about it.
And while I have little sympathy for them, I have absolutely NONE for people who are experiencing infertility after a tubal or vasectomy reversal. Not so sorry about that one.
2007-11-12 22:49:10 · answer #6 · answered by greensock 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I do since my husband and I had to adopt and then my neice who is 22 alreaday has one and threw it in our face that she is prego again!!!!! She doesnt work. She lives of the state and her dead beat husband is the same way. So I know where you going with this. Why do you have to say oh I want another child when you know others are tring and might have trouble. I understand people want a family but give it a rest. Sorry if this sounds rude but its the thruth.
2007-11-12 22:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by Amie M 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I can see how that would frustrate you.
We've been ttc for one year and we're going for a fourth child.
Of course we feel so blessed to have the three beautiful children that we have, but we still have pains about not being able to have another one. We are extremely content with our life and if this is the amount of children that the Lord wants us to have, so be it.
I think everyone should work on being content, including me.
You should read about Hannah in the book of Samuel in the Bible. Maybe it will encourage you. :)
I pray people will be more sensitive to your situation and if they are not, be strong and don't let it ruin your joy.
2007-11-12 22:33:36 · answer #8 · answered by sep 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
I do get a little jealous when people start talking about there children and how they are wanting another one but just cant seem to get pregnant. It kinda makes me cringe everytime I hear someone else has gotten pregnant because I am just utterly overwhelmed with my feelings of not even being able to get pregnant and stay pregnant with one.
2007-11-12 22:15:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Eat some chocolate and do something childish like jump in rain puddles, that always makes me feel better when I start getting down about TTC.
2007-11-12 22:08:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋