Controlling b/f....dont know what to do?

Question

I have been in a relationship for 5 months. Not married, b/f & g/f. My problem is is that his true colors are starting to show. He has 2 beautiful little girls, all he wants to do is fuss at them. He belittles them and calls them names when they cant do their homework right. Now he is starting to do the same thing to me. He has hit the girls but he has not hit me. But I am scared to death of him. Every move I make I am constantly looking over my shoulders. I have no privacy, where are you going what are you doing? I cant get a job because he is jealous. I want to get out, but I cant. Finances, and I am scared of what will happen to his girls. I have become very fond of them. I have looked into shelters cant go unless I have children with me ( the kids ar his not mine). I cant go to the cops because he is one of them.....Does anyone have any suggestions?

my family is not an option......they dont want to get involved, they dont want him contacting them in any way. They say if they help then he will find out and make their lives miserable.

Answer 1

You really must find a shelter and get out. You have no right to the children as you are not married and that is sad but you can ask the shelter what you might be able to do there. They may be able to get social services to take them away from him. Where is your family? Can they help you get out if you choose not to go to a shelter? Whatever you choose, you absolutely must leave and protect yourself. Thankfully you are not married to him but the severity of your situtation doesn't change. Please make a decision to get somewhere safe.

Answer 2

It sounds like you want out, but are coming up with a lot of excuses to stay. Whether you are scared or not you could always leave while he was at work and the girls are at school. Leave and call him at work, come up with a plan. Get a job anywhere and look in the paper for a roomate wanted to find a place to live that you can afford.
As for the girls, you are not doing them any good by staying. You are just being another example of someone that tolerates his behavior. If you really care about those girls be an example of a strong women. Get away and then do something to help, like calling child services.

Answer 3

I'm sure his coworkers are aware of his temper. If he leaves a mark I'd call the cops. He is going to beat the hell out of you girl if he's doing it to two little kids and he knows that you know about it. Don't be stupid you're there for those girls for a reason, If dad can't straighten up, you have to be a voice for them. The only person you're protecting is him. Besides, if you call 911, and speak to the dispatcher and they send over his buddies, tell her you need them to send over neutral officers who aren't friends of his. Don't think you can't get help if he hurts someone because he's a cop, he isn't exempt from the law. I've had to call the cops before, it won't change him, only do it if it's necessary. If you go back after you leave/call the cops on him, he'll probably hurt you and the kids. Look into the Gift of Fear, it could give you insight.

Answer 4

Before you contact social services (which should be a move you need to be making in the very near future), tell the girls's mother. If she isn't in the picture for whatever reason, contact DSS. They'll pop in unannounced and interview him. I highly suggest that you get out of there before they do though. It's only a matter of time before he starts hitting you, and then what's going to happen? He'll end up killing you or seriously hurting you. He thinks he is above the law because he's a cop, so you need to go behind his back to his superiors.
As for finances, you need to find someone that will allow you to stay with them for awhile and get your life together, away from this man. Trust me, he will end up really hurting you or those girls. Good luck!

Answer 5

Get away from this guy. Leave when he isn't home. Leave the children you can't take them. You can't protect them. After you leave don't tell him where you are. Call Child protective service and report him for hitting the children. Move out of the city he is in.

I have a friend that is dead now, because of an abusive controlling husband. Get out while you are still alive.

Answer 6

You need to get out as soon as possible because things are only going to get worse instead of better. I was married to a man who had abused me for a long,long time. The abuse never started until we were married. Yes, I also have children and they were abused. He was an alcoholic and then the drinking stopped and the abuse only got worse. He controlled everything that me and my children did. I was finally able to end the miserable life that I had lived after my children were grown and gone. You need to call the Department of Family And Children's Services about the children and let them know what your boyfriend is doing to his children.

Answer 7

Laura Branigan - Self administration The Rolling Stones - uncontrolled Eric Carmen - Make Me Lose administration Def Leppard - Cruise administration crimson Floyd - Set The Controls For the middle Of The sunlight

Answer 8

Just leave. Finances is no excuse. You managed before you met him a mere 5 months ago. Or do you jump from 1 bf to the next and haven't arranged the next one yet? It's moms job to sort the kids out. Not yours.

Answer 9

You have to let go of him and his 2 girls to safe your own skin. Leave with the clothes on your back .......take a bus, train or plane to another place. Don't tell anyone. Start over in the new place. Go to the YWCA first, then seek help from women's groups.

Answer 10

You should tell the girl's mother to keep them away, unless she is worse than he is. Of course, she probably already knows all this. I think you should call the closest Victim's Resource Center asap first and see what they suggest. I am sure they have seen it before and have resources to help you.