Ok so to make a very long dramatic stupid story short, my inlaws have decided that they hate me, and my children, My husband is my girls step dad, and together we have a son. My husband also has a son from a previous marriage that he has sole custody of. The only child that they want anything to do with is my step son, even though my son is also their blood granchld. They wont even step foot in my house. IT all started last year, and to be honest i really dont get it. I got along great with them for a long time. Now its like Im the plague. i feel like they would do anything to get rid of me .
anyway, for christmas they told my husband something about drawing names so that their wont be any conflict(i dont know what that means, as i have tried to be the bigger person through it all.) SO here is my question...should i ask my husband to tell his family to take my name out of the drawing since everyone of them seem to have something against me.
2007-11-12 12:43:34 · 11 answers · asked by Kimberly G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it all with hs brothers wife...i used to call her my sister in law when we got along. It was like after I had my son last september that all this began. they even say when i was in the hospital giving bith and recooperating from the c- that I was rude and wouldnt let them hold the baby(i was drugged up on painmeds and trying desperately to get the hang of breast feeding my son..I barely remember because i was on demerol.
They make me out to be this terrible person that Im not.
2007-11-12 12:47:39 · update #1
of course i will not be going to their house on christmas, i went last year to be the bigger person and i was miserable the whole time. I told my husband he could go, cause i dont want he and I to fight, but her says hes not going either
2007-11-12 12:50:34 · update #2
my hubby says hes not participating in any holiday events at their house, because if they cant accept me then hes not accepted either. Last year his mom pulled this big stunt about not being able to get out of bed and she will never cook christmas dinner again, and of course it wasto make my husband feel sorry for her. Im ready for it again
2007-11-12 12:55:03 · update #3
his brothers wife has cussed me out and put me down so muchthat i can never be in the same house with her.
Mind you I still really dont know what their reasons are for hating me
2007-11-12 12:56:56 · update #4
i dont feel that me and my children are welcome in their home anymore
2007-11-12 13:01:35 · update #5
Isn't it all so petty and ridiculous. I would go along with the name drawing; be the bigger person; don't stoop to their level.
2007-11-12 12:50:49 · answer #1 · answered by pussycat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My family draws names, just so people can only buy one gift instead of many. You might want to keep your name in, just to not draw attention to the conflict. Although you should talk your inlaws and say that thier other grandchild is feeling slighted , and if they don't want a relationship with one they shouldnt have a relationship with either,and talk to your husband about that. it could be hurting the other child's self esteem.
2007-11-12 20:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep acting like a grown up, stand your ground, and stay in the drawing. It sounds like you are having to put in alot of energy to be the mature one, but you will reap the rewards in the long run. If anything, at least you are setting a good example for your kids in dealing with difficult people. Kids learn from the examples around them, and you should be commended for being mature with your immature in-laws.
2007-11-12 20:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um...yeah....and by the way....you and the kids (all of them) shouldn't show for thanksgiving or christmas either!!! Your hubby should really support you in this and not be undecided or in the middle. If you have done nothing wrong and if your children have done nothing wrong why subject yourselves to torture or humiliation by family?
My inlaws started this 3 months ago and it has been as long since we've talked. You really need to think about what is best for all of your children. If they will only accept one child, that is not acceptable!! Your other kids shouldn't be put through that torture of feeling unwanted/unloved. I wouldn't have anything to do with them until they decided to accept your entire family and not just 2 of you. good luck!!
2007-11-12 20:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is really refreshing to learn that your husband supports you...way to go hubby!!!!!!!!
My question to you is this: if you want your name out of the drawing .>WHY would you ask your husband to tell his family???? You are an adult and can speak for yourself. You can not KNOW what dialogue may open if you approach these people maintaining your own self respect and dignity. Dont use your husband as a mouth piece...ask yourself. It may fee scarey ...but this is crucial!!!!!!!!! Be the example for your kids...remember that they watch you and learn from you. Finally, I dont see why you would want to further isolate yourself from the family in light of your children...ALL OF THEM!! If doing so is absolutely the best thing for you...then do it....but try to look inside of yourself to decide if you are not still reeling hormonally since childbirth....HUGS
2007-11-12 20:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always amazes me that some people can take in a stray dog or cat and love them, but can not love a child because it does not have the "correct" parents to suit them. We faced the same thing with both of our families. We just dismissed them from our lives. We adopted grandparents and aunts and uncles for our kids. My kids wouldn't know my family members if they rang the front door bell. But they sure know who loved them while growing up. While our kids were in high school, we took in 3 other teens whose own parents didn't want them. Our "adopted" relative took them into their hearts and loved them also.
2007-11-12 21:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they are all being VERY imature about it. I can understand that you were wanting to get used to breast feeding your son, and their attitude towards you especially since you were drugged yet from the c-section is really sad. They seriously need to grow up.
2007-11-12 20:50:24 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In laws can be complicated some times, you make sure u play your part right no foul play on your side, what goes around always comes around.
2007-11-12 20:56:56 · answer #8 · answered by out of control 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do that. it can only worsen things. sooner or later they will realize their mistakes and they will feel sorry for all the things
Cheers,
RK
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2007-11-12 20:50:39 · answer #9 · answered by raja k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, Tell your husband to bat it out with his family, it's his job to tell his family what to do in regards to you, and if he won't, tell him he can move in with his mother. My husband teamed up with my mother and his mother against me over me choosing to stop breastfeeding because I had no milk and mastitis, painful, I told him that his place was not to recite their lines in my home and that he was going to tell both our mothers to back off.
2007-11-12 20:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by mudpup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋