I am nice, patient, empathic, and kind with my wife. But whenever I bring up something I have an issue/problem with, it's like she refuses to hear me. No matter how delicately and tactfully I bring up a disagreeable subject, she immediately switches to defensive mode and blames me for the problem. Example: "Sweetie, I feel X." Response: "Well, you need to stop feeling that way..."
2007-11-12 12:06:50 · 14 answers · asked by Keep On Trucking 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she lacks understanding of how to relate to problems and has no idea how to work it out. some people never want to hear the truth and think your rejecting and finding fault with them whenever u need to deal with something. it probably has much to do with what she was exposed to as a child, and how her parents behaved when they had problems.
2007-11-12 12:12:51 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people have a hard time taking responsibility in any situation. Her behavior is immature and doesn't show a willingness to grow in the relationship. Until she is ready to take responsibility even if it is just to say that she is half responsible for any problems at hand she'll never grow and mature like a normal person. She needs to grow up and act like an adult in an adult relationship and understand how seeds of resentment can be planted in relationships when there are unresolved issues that continually come up and don't get resolved. Next thing you know a few years go by and you have that seed has grown into a tree of resentment that you can't cut down. Tell her to tune in!
2007-11-12 20:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by christijacks 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you claim that you are a nice and kind to your wife but when ever you have a problem she will not discuss the problem with you she refuses to hear you , no matter what it is switch to defensive mode and blames you for the problem sometimes when people react like this they feel guilty them selves. She tells you need to stop feeling that way maybe if she were to help you wouldnt feel any way at all. I feel that you and your wife have communication problems and that she is being selfess towards your feelings.
best of luck
2007-11-12 20:16:26 · answer #3 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to a 3rd party and find out why she's like that ...
I am just the same, BUT hubbs refuses to *listen* himself ... he might change for a day .. but he goes right back ..
So find out why she's saying that .. and take or speak to her how some of the blame is you .. she may feel like you gang up on her
2007-11-12 20:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by Queenie` 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is not interested in how you feel. To tell someone to shut down their feelings is very unhealthy. I don't care how patient or empathic you are, you will start to resent her later. See a councilor about this.
2007-11-12 20:13:00 · answer #5 · answered by acedelux 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a real piece of work. Sorry. But you have to be strong and not let her tune you out...at least you ae trying to communicate with her. That's a plus in my book. I also like the way you start your sentence with I...not you. Sounds like she i just a defensive person..be patient..we all have our quirks.
2007-11-12 20:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hormones. I really don't have an answer except some women are like that and some just go with the flow.
2007-11-12 20:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's simple...she does not want to listen. Or perhaps..she's going through a lot..about herself " issues". Hard to listen "when ears are clogged up".
2007-11-12 21:01:06 · answer #8 · answered by tenderbear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try changing the batteries in her hearing aids if that doesn't work it's a lost cause.
2007-11-12 20:26:31 · answer #9 · answered by Williamstown 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds more like she's being the insensitive, uncaring man--she'd really get along with my husband--they'd just blame each other for everything all day!
2007-11-12 20:15:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋