I met this guy on the internet and he is 22 and I am 34. I'm also married(divorcing), with 2 young children. He knows all of this. We met on the internet and connected right away. Texting, talking, web cam, all on an almost daily basis. He's in his senior year of college and an athlete. He's really busy and i kinda screwed things up becoming too attached. he was ignoring me for a few weeks, then he called me Sat. to let me know that all of this was too much for him cause we don't even know eachother yet. He says he likes me but feels uncomfortable cuz of my marriage(until i'm divorced). We had sex once a month ago and we both agree it was amazing!!! But he says he wants to get to know me as friends first; as a person before we become intimate again. What would you think of this? I can understand but we really have fun together and i enjoyed him sexually and as a person, but i admit i don't actually know him yet......What to do????
2007-11-12 11:10:50 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well now that you gave up the sex, no he doesn't want anything more than just friends. And I'm not talking about good friends but booty friends. Someone he can call whenever he wants to get laid!
geez your 34 and I'm only 19 and I know NOT to have sex with a guy too soon. If I want any chance of a relationship with him in the future!
2007-11-12 14:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unlike some of the other sanctimonious responses, I am not going to judge!
So you are divorcing, that does not mean that you need to be celibate and lonely. I dont think there is one person around single or otherwise who would not want to continue meeting/dating others when their relationship is done. Your marriage is obviously over, so you are taking proper steps with that situation. Good for you to take the bull by the horns and end something thats not bringing you happiness. When people marry, they dont plan on divorcing. They truly believe that it'll be til death do us part. However, that is not necessarily true in many cases. Its tough especially with kids. You do need to work out what to do with your life, however and whats best for the kids. When you meet guys you need to think about them as future husband/father material before sleeping with them. I think this will make it clearer as to what you actually want in a man and whether that kind of guy deserves you and your kids.
It could be that the two of you got caught up in the moment and you were feeling like you needed some intimacy and he was convenient at the time. Thats ok. Its not a sin. But you need to sit back and ask yourself if it weren't for the fact that you are used to having someone around, would you think of him as prospective husband material? Maybe not. I notice there are those who think the difference in your age is a major problem. Thumbs down to them. If you were 22 and the guy was 34 I know that they would be encouraging the guy to "go for it". Talk about double standards!! Some men seem to think they are soooo irresistable to women of all ages, regardless of their age!!
The age difference is irrelevant, but more importantly do you have common interests and love each other? Its too soon to tell. I would not call him and just decide on your life. If he comes back, then its meant to be. If not, its fine too. Everything happens for a reason.
2007-11-12 12:12:53 · answer #2 · answered by Azul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, a 22 year old man more mature than a 34 year old woman. Of course it's too much for him, he's young and has a lot on his plate concerning college. He has his whole life ahead of him and he's just really starting it. I think it is only right that one waits until a divorce is finalized until getting involved with someone. I think you should do him a favor, say good-bye. At least you had some fun. Don't take away this young mans good start in life. His education is what's more important right now. It's not good for him to get involved with someone who has a lot of baggage. It's not fair. Don't be so selfish.
2007-11-12 11:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by Perkymo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to remember, he is in a totally different stage of life right now. He is probably still sowing his oats all the while your oats are all mush already. He probably realized that being with a married woman was wrong no matter what the circumstances. You need time to breath and take a break from relationships, heck your not even out of one and your already jumping into another. You seem desperate, don't be one of those woman who always has to have someone and can never be single. I suggest to you counseling.
2007-11-12 11:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a playboy..... How many woman do you think he has connected with on the computer. For one thing.... 22 and you 34 with two young kids? He got into your pants. Its a star on his black board....... He got what he wanted he used you and he has more in the works... You can do better than 22 my dear and before you give it up so easy... Get to know them, especially you kids... They do come first you know...... Good luck and I truly wish you love... Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-11-12 12:42:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to know him. Friends is a great way to start. If he still keeps in contact then he is serious. If he slowly (or not so slowly) falls off the face of the earth, he more than likely used you and the whole friends thing was just a cop out.
2007-11-12 11:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by Lyndsey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy - I'd LOVE to see the flame responses if the genders were reversed on this little tryst !!!!
It would be hilarious !!
Sounds like you wanted a fling, he's young and got attached. Now he thinks there's a chance for a "relationship".
Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson .......
2007-11-12 11:23:45 · answer #7 · answered by aa889d 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were too hungry for SEX ,that's why you pick him.
From my man point of view, a man of 22 will NEVER marry a
woman of 34 ,unless she is LOADED!!!! Besides your 2 young kids drove tis guy off ....maybe he's going for someone
younger,after tasting your old ( sorry ) fruit!!!!
2007-11-12 11:20:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He was using you for the sex, i know you like him but he is to into his self to good for you for any reason forget about him and find some who has time for you and treat you the way you want to be treated
2007-11-12 12:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by George 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wants to be friends after sex to keep that door open for more sex..if you are willing to be a booty call then fine other than that leave it alone you are both are different levels..i woudnt settle for that but then thats just me..if you read what you wrote you would see he spelled it out for you.. Move On!!
2007-11-12 11:23:34 · answer #10 · answered by chaoswantsangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋