Because it's going to cost him an arm and a leg if the two of you dont work it out...... He wants his cake and eat it too.... Gitter Done sweetie.......... You can do better... Stay home or get lost!!!! You have the ball in your court baby.... Good luck and I wish you love.. Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-11-12 12:47:41
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Is it possible that a man can be a good husband to one woman and a good lover to his mistress without compromising either?
I would urge you to address the specific problems rather than to address the mistress. Is he not attentive enough to you? Does he leave you sitting alone? Does he spend money the family cannot afford to spend?
If he's a good husband to you, an attentive lover, and a good father to your children, then I'd recommend that you do like so many women throughout history before you and turn a blind eye to his mistress. If there are problems, address the problems -- but never address the mistress. Set the standard for how you expect to be treated and focus only on that.
There's absolutely nothing to be gained from your competing with this other woman. For you, it's all about you and him and letting him know what you expect from him.
2007-11-12 11:18:03
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answer #2
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answered by joyfulc1957 2
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i would say that under this kind of circumstance, you have to have a serious conversation with him to find where the problem is. I have seen many like you who are torn in their relationships, but you have to have patience. If you are christian, it is always a good strategy to calm your self by asking for God's help; and also, you have two options as the previous stages had mentioned: either be patient with him and treat him with respect and kindness, and try to attract him as you once had before the marriage (because all men desire a good and pretty wife whom they can boast about), or turn the table around, and show him who is in charge and that you are not bothered, and maybe even kick him out of the house or demand him to put an end to that mistress' relationship with him. Tell him that, he can only choose one of the two, or maybe go on to a third and never turn back.
Or so they say in dramas..... that is what i think at least... ^___^ shouldn't be bothered too much about a husband who doesn't bring you happiness
2007-11-12 11:18:10
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answer #3
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answered by lisazhang112004 1
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He is still talking to her because U haven't kicked his @ss hard enough yet!!! LOL! (just kidding, I will not promote violence)
He obviously has not completely let go of the other woman. He sounds confused and I tell you what...YOU tell him it is ALL you or ALL her! He can't have it both ways!!! He is showing you no love & respect by keeping in contact with the person who has caused so much harm and damage to your life & marriage.(well, of course, he is more responsible than she is considering that he is the one who took the wedding vows) It's time for you to be assertive and lay down some laws. Have his cell number changed and forbid him to give it to her and demand that he not call her either.He is not commited because obviously he knows he can get away with this behavior. I mean come on, 2 1/2 friggin years! Maybe you are not the kind of wife that feels comfortable with bullying your husband, but he has given you that authority to treat him like that. Sweety, YOU have the upper hand and YOU CAN demand things of him and YOU CAN forbid him from contacting her. Good luck and God Bless. In the event that he does not cut ties with her then you are gonna have to cut ties with him. Give him to her and let her deal with his problems and his wandering eye. Always remember this also:The best revenge is living well. Ig he doesn't change hand him over to her on a silver platter and then invest your time and enerfy into bettering yourself in all aspects. GOOD LUCK and keep your head up!!!!!
2007-11-12 11:28:23
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answer #4
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answered by whatshername 5
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My first question to you is WHY DID YOU ALLOW HIM TO HAVE AN AFFAIR FOR 2 1/2 YEARS?
And now your surprised he's still seeing her??
Check your cell phone records my dear and when you see her number on there and you ask him FOR THE LAST TIME...
Why are you still talking to her? And he comes back and lies, throw (A COPY) of the phone bill w/ her numbers in his face.
Then tell him to get out, you're filing for divorce and he's going to pay ! You have got to stop letting him make a fool of you. I know you must love him, but if it doens't bother you, then don't say anything, otherwise, you will never be able to trust him again because he will never stop.
I hope you don't have children....and if you do...get his sorry butt on ADULTRY and make him pay good.
Oh and by the way, to answer your question....
Why is my husband still talking to his mistress?
BECAUSE YOU ARE ALLOWING IT >>>>>
2007-11-12 11:21:31
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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I'm so sorry! It seems like he is still talking to her because he believes you will not continue with the separation. Remember that you deserve better than that!
All situations are different, but it doesn't seem you could ever trust him again. After you are giving him a second chance, he is taking advantage of that and continuing in talking with his mistress. It may seem lonely, but you will always have people that care about you and want to see you happy.
2007-11-12 11:12:47
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answer #6
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answered by Melly Elly 2
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I agree, if he was truely committed he would AVOID the mistress at all costs but the fact that he talks to her shows that he still... 2 1/2 years??? thats a long time to just up and drop it (the affair)
2007-11-12 11:11:29
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answer #7
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answered by angelbuff_01 3
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If he's still talking to her there must be a reason. I wouldn't consider it 'over' between them if he still feels the need to talk to her. Also, if he's lying about it that would seem shady and sabotage any effort to try to build trust in the relationship again. If he was there 100% to work things out with you I don't think he'd be paying any attention to the other chick.
Sorry for your problems. It's not always easy to stay but it is even harder to walk away most of the time.
2007-11-12 11:12:37
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answer #8
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answered by MISS H 5
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first of all your husband has been fooling around on you with a mistress and hemoved out and you let him move back in to work things out and he is still talking to her even though he claims that he is done with her. still going over her house evn though he said he wants to get back with you let me tell you something he has never stop seeing her in the first place now if you want to be with him thats on you. This is your choice so go on and make it work if you can.
best of luck
2007-11-12 12:38:46
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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Hello,, having his own ideas of what the ideal wife should be like. Perhaps to much television propaganda has infiltrated his mental capacity and he is living in a meaningless state of mindless confusion destined to never have the ideal marriage nor a female friend that can trust his evil desires. The other woman will find out the hard way just as you are finding out that he is just another scum bucket of lies and deceit and you should just divorce him and get on with your life with the knowledge that you tried and he failed you.
2007-11-12 11:15:36
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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