How do I get my husband to be more "Handy" around the house?

Question

I'm having trouble getting my husband to want to do any handy work around the house. If he's not at work he's messing with his computers or at his friends working on a truck for fun. We just bought our home this year and there are many things that need to be done: install a dishwasher, put up shades these 2 things are already bought, arrange garage. Every time I ask for something to be done I get the SAME answer "We'll get to it", or "don't worry I didn't forget", or "We'll have time this weekend". But it NEVER gets done, when I get impatient about it after asking for weeks I get told "Don't ride my ***, grr, rrgg". I'm like it doesn't get done when I don't ride his ***, it don't get done if I do ride his ***. WHAT DO I DO? I grew up with my dad being the type that does everything from building sheds himself to fixing a clogged toilet, fixing cars, anything. I don't know if its stupidity, laziness, or what? It's now affecting our sex life b/c I'm not attracted to laziness.

Answer 1

Start "fixing" things yourself or hire someone to do it. Once he sees that there's either more work or a drain on the account, he'll get up off his butt and do it.

Answer 2

Chick, this is an easy one. Make a list of what you want done -- and then make a list of what you're willing to "pay" to have them done. And I don't mean money.

Then start tapering off his "freebies" so he starts feeling the pressure to give you something so he can get something.

Tit for tat, I think it's called. ;)

In the meantime, just chill. Your husband is not the same guy as your dad. He places importance on different things. That doesn't mean he's wrong. And it's not like your roof is falling in on your heads, right?

So no more sitting and stewing over this stuff. Let the bad feelings go and have some fun getting what you want.

Answer 3

I went through a very similar situation. I ended up doing the things myself and found out that I was pretty good at it and actually enjoyed it. I taught myself so much. I gained the experience of tiling floors to drywall to tiling countertops to putting up crown molding. We were renovating and I was tired of no kitchen for 4 months and little things not being done. He would go out on the boat for the day and I stayed home to work on stuff. After I left his sorry butt, I still had the skills I taught myself and it helped me fix up the house I had after and I made a good bit when I sold it! I would say to do what you can on your own and if it gets messed up, then oh well, you made an effort and learned in the process. I would hope you would stay together, but I know the stress it can cause. Hang in there and I would say, do what you can. It is a learning experience and maybe if he sees you trying so hard, he will feel bad and chip in more. Don't know what else to tell you, because you can't "make" someone do something. I took it upon myself, because of that! Best of luck sweetie!

Answer 4

Unfortunately,you married a man that's not as interested in doing things around the house,as much as your dad...So,your seeing him in a less attractive light,but let's be fair about it.If he's always been this way,you shouldn't expect him to change. You have a few options:
1.Ask him if a note would help remind him,then place a note on the front door for him to see every day.
2.Tell him that you understand he isn't into household chores,& you'll hire someone to do it.
3. You can buy a do it yourself book,& learn to take care of business without his help.
Whatever you decide,realize that you have a man that you love that isn't perfect,but think of the alternatives....LOL

Answer 5

an alternative is to contract it out. Maybe some men just don't like doing this kind of work. I don't mind as I enjoy it. If it is just laziness's then you have make a list, paste on fridge, and remind him. Is his job really stressful?

Answer 6

Your husband is not your father nor your child....If you keep bothering & belittling a person they are less likely to give us what we want.....If you saw your dad doing all those things then some of it must've rubbed off on you......Get out there and do it yourself.........Show your husband that your not just a nag and can handle it on your own....Install that dishwasthwer and put up those shades.....You sound like and intelligent women who can read instructions.....so get to it.......When he comes in and see you getting it together his manhood won't allow him to sit back and watch..........he'll immediately start putting it together...........Just make sure he's home when you start.....lol........Try building him up...he is your better half.........Just cause he doesn't move when you tell him doesn't mean he doesn't plan on doing it.........Ask him to give you a specific date and time.......and hold him to it..........

Answer 7

Find a VERY BUFF sexy repair guy to come over and start doing some of those things for you. If he dont start doing them hmself then just enjoy the man meat doing it for you.

Answer 8

I'm not lazy, I'm just very-very busy, so I neglect things too!! My wife doesn't complaian, she just puts up note on the frig, and reminds me of the need -to-do's, and I do tham quickly!!!

Answer 9

Take control. Tell him that he will do as he is told or he will be punished..Get a heavy paddle and use it. You don't need to ride his a** you need to beat it. If he acts like a lazy spoilt brat treat him like one..Let him know that from now on he will do as he is told when he is told and there will be no tolerence for excuses. He needs discipline..You are the only one in his life who can give it to him.

Answer 10

Buy him a bunch of cool new tools. He'll get new toys to play with, and you get ur handywork done.