My ex husband & I live about 3 1/2 to 4 hours away from each other. We have a son together & in the divorce decree it states that he gets the 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekends of the month for visitation. He hasn't come to see him since September. When we went before the judge on the day our divorce was finalized both of our lawyers asked us under oath if everything in the decree was in the best interest of our child & we both said yes. Is there anything I can do to make him start coming to see him when he is supposed to since he agreed to it? This is ridiculous that I have to be the only one raising our son. I know that he'll probably use some lame excuse that he's working or something. I'm just trying to figure out how to word it so that he might step up & start doing what's right. I called him a couple of weeks ago & he never called me back...and last night I texted him & asked him to please call or text me back so we can talk about our son & no response. I am fed up.
2007-11-12 10:03:40 · 8 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess there is not much that you can do...But you can leave him a guilt message. You can say if he doesn't get his act together his son is gonna forget about him, that at first he might ask why he doesn't wanna see him, but as he gets older he's gonna build a wall between them and when he later realizes that he wants that relationship with him,your son won't allow it. He's his father and he suppose to be there. But since he can't be a man and step up and take care of his responsiblities your gonna have to be the mother and father figure in his life, and that, that might be ok for you because you don't at all mind being there for your son but at first it won't be ok with him. Also say that, when it comes to that point that you feel guilty enough to come visit and he doesn't care for it anymore, your gonna make it your sons choice of whether or not he wants to see him.Come on now, 16 year old new father do a better job at stepping up to the plate. Hope I help,Good luck and God Bless!
2007-11-12 10:23:15 · answer #1 · answered by Angel_Eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you trying to force your son's father to be a father? I'm sure he knows what's written in the divorce decree so if he's not following through with his part then it's because he is CHOOSING NOT TO and his son isn't a priority. Why would you want to press the issue with him? Yes, I know being a single parent isn't easy but once you become a parent it's YOUR obligation to care for this child even if the other parent is being a flake. Father's like the one you're dealing with CANNOT be reasoned with about their responsibilities as a parent. This is something they will have to learn on their own. And you said something in your question that sounded almost....I guess for lack of a better word "childish". You stated: "This is ridiculous that I have to be the only one raising our son. I know that he'll probably use some lame excuse that he's working or something." What do you care about his lame excuses??? It's not ridiculous that you're having to raise your son on your own, but what IS ridiculous is that you think there's some magical words you can say to him to make him "step up" and be a father. All you should be worrying about is that YOU are being a good parent, care taker, role model, and mother for your son. Don't worry about what his dead-beat father is doing. His dad will reap what he sows. You can't make someone be a parent if they don't want to.
2007-11-12 18:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by grneyedgrly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything. That is sad, because one day when he gets his head out of his *** he's going to look at his son all grown up and think "I've missed so much." Take the high road and when your boy asks about his dad, just tell him he's working or something, don't bash his father because that will only hurt the little guy more. When he's older he will resent his dad if he doesn't change, and not you for anything. At least you care. I hope he sees the light soon for your son's sake.
2007-11-12 18:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His loss. Just be a good mom and move on. He'll start coming around about the time your son starts calling another man "dad".
2007-11-12 22:21:08 · answer #4 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him visit, especially from that far away. The court order is so you can't arbitrarily deny him visitation during those periods.
2007-11-12 18:28:34 · answer #5 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take him to court for full custody and ask for more child support since what you are receiving is based on him having the kid part of the time... if that doesn't make him "want" to see his kid nothing will... and if nothing else maybe you'll have some more CA$H for your kid....
2007-11-12 18:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by Gabriel M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say exactly what Gabriel said - take him back to court!
2007-11-12 18:16:35 · answer #7 · answered by Flusterated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant make him be a daddy
2007-11-12 18:06:47 · answer #8 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋