I'm a newlywed me & my hubby awesome! His bro has been married 4 3 yrs but his wife just came from Mex & his mother (my mom n law) has never liked her. My mom n law is doing TG @ her house. My husband feels bad bcuz his bro is not allowed there w/ his wife. Do we go 2 his moms house or not?
His bro might go w/ some other family but it's 5 hrs away & he has kind of hinted around for us 2 go w/ them. HOWEVER, i have 2 make an appearence @ my fam house & i can't do that if im 5 hrs away! My fam is pretty laid back back though. I think they would understand. Please help!! Serious question! What should we do??
2007-11-12 09:46:46 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
We don't have any kids. & Yes we technically have r "own family" but we both have a huge extended family & we wish 2 spend it w/ them we just feel kind of bad for his brother.
2007-11-12 09:52:38 · update #1
ditch them all and TG w/ your hubby alone. too stressful.
cheers!
2007-11-12 09:52:32 · answer #1 · answered by michael 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cant go with his bro because of the 5 hours away then you have a perfect excuse to make it to hubby's moms this year. My husband and I had a problem similar to this. What we did was decided to have Thanksgiving at our house and invited both parties. That way if one decides not to come then that is their choice. But being that they will be in your home and not their own they will be more likely to act civilized. Also, you should ask your husband (if your not close enough to his mom to have this discussion yourself) to talk to his mother and let her know that this is putting you in an awkward position. The holidays are the time to put away old hurts. I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. Plz enjoy yourself and make sure you remember to be happy for your blessings and not let ppl bring you down!
2007-11-15 14:59:19 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This year there is so much drama with my husbands family that we have just decided to do it on our own at our house. I am super excited but the family (mil) is not too happy. When you get married you make the choice to be with someone else and start your OWN life together. :) You should not feel like you have to go to his mom's especially if she is so mean to the new daughter-in-law. I think that your mil should love her son no matter who he married and that not allowing him and his wife to come for dinner is pretty rude. I personally would not put up with it and I would say no to dinner there but you need to do what is best for you and your hubby. Maybe you could do like another said and have it at your house and invite your bro-in-law and his wife and tell your mil that you will not be coming. I wish you the best and I hope that this all works out for you. :)
2007-11-13 00:44:01 · answer #3 · answered by JoJo 78 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with the brother-in-law and his wife and do it every year until the mother-in-law caves in and lets them come for Thanksgiving. It's all about family, and if someone is not included then why support that by showing up at the mother-in-law's house. In fact, see if your family would like to include them in future Thanksgivings.
2007-11-12 09:54:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A 5 hour one way drive on Thanksgiving is just to stressful. It is sad about your brother-in-law but, personally, I would stay put. I'm sure they'll understand that 5 hours one way is just to much. Go to your mother in law's if you're so inclined and enjoy the day. Just keep your head down and try not to take sides.
2007-11-12 09:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by Lacy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say you are starting you own family's t-day tradition & invite you brother in-law & his wife (and as many of your local friends that can't make it home for the day as you can).
That way you avoid the whole issue, have created the standard of NOT traveling for T-day (your state troopers will thank you & the drunks on the road won't be able to kill you).
If it turns out it's just you & the hubby, y'all can share a very quiet, intimate day, with all the trimmings! :)
2007-11-12 10:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by Monkeyboi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then only get in the kitchen and start up pitching in with the meal education devoid of exclaiming a notice. Your mom will incredibly have a good time with it and so including your father. additionally in the adventure that your snooty aunt could have the money for her family contributors then perhaps she will shake lose the bread to pay for yours too in the event that they want $a hundred according to guy or woman. in the adventure that your aunt would not want to connect then you definitely that's her subject not yours. Your grandmother should not be in a retirement abode on that trip, no count number how fancy it rather is, so your loved ones ought to bypass get your grandma and have her over on your place. to not be rude yet your mom desires to enhance a backbone and tell your aunt needs each thing HER way, then she desires to tell her if she desires to come back to ascertain the techniques-set at her very own door & convey something or do not are available in any respect yet she had greater acceptable make up her techniques by utilising Tuesday and to permit her be attentive to with the aid of fact if not she would be waiting to not anticipate them in any respect.
2016-09-29 02:51:04 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what we do. Spend one holiday at each house a year. And then switch. We are going to my brother in law's house for thanksgiving this year, and next year we will go to my mothers. It's only fair that you get to spend time with each your family, and your husband's. When we don't spend a holiday at one house we go for coffee in the morning. It's all a jealousy thing with our family. That's why we made up that rule. One year there, and one year at his family's house.
2007-11-12 23:09:12 · answer #8 · answered by ChemoAngel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what most families do that have members that far away. Do Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other and then rotate every year. It's hard, but it's really not your or your husband's fight to get his brother's wife accepted into the family.
2007-11-12 09:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by teel2624 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I people that are soo willing to let their feelings get in the way of holidays especially ThanksGiving that is the time to be thankful!!! She should just be thankful her sons are in good health!! I think you should spend it with eachother and just stay away from the DRAMA!! I would let her know what it feels like to be alone on ThanksGiving, She is willing to let her pride keep her away from her sons on This holiday!! Thats too Bad!!! Good Luck!!
2007-11-12 09:57:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send them a HAPPY Thanksgiving card
and tell them over the phone you can't go.
They should be able to under since..is like 5hrs away
and 5 hrs back..
Do what you think is logical and reasonable..
2007-11-12 09:53:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋