My alcoholic husband wants a divorce because he says I am negative. He is the one that verbally abuses me and tells me I am fat, he doesn't like the way I dress, I am boring and pathetic. I tried to explain to him that am negative because he is so mean. Why doesn't he understand this, why is he placing the blame on me?
2007-11-12 09:44:23 · 13 answers · asked by swissbabe2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Better ask yourself: why is he still my husband?
2007-11-12 09:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Speaker 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
He projecting his own emotions and feelings about himself onto you so he can feel better. about himself.
If he's drunk all the time then he's not being much of a husband to you. Isf he really wants a divorce from you then someone like that is doing you a favor as no one deserves to be verbally abused or ridiculed. Love is a 2 way street and if a road block such as he is doing then the love is one sided and cold and void on his side.
Maybe it's best you give him distance of a trial spereation if you're not ready to get a divorce, it'll either snap him awake or show you the way you should go. If you believe in God , talk to Him and pray continually. He'll point you in the right direction. Some say that divorce isnt allowed in the churches or in the bible. But God is a loving God and know when it's harmful for one to stay tied down if they'll be harmed.
There are legitimate reason for divorces , in the eyes of Christians , and God what you're going through is one of them.
So listen to what your husband is saying. Listen to what he's not saying in his rants and his body and eyes will say it for him. No one can hide the truth for long.
With my husband if he's lying to me during the day. I can wait till he falls asleep and begins mumbling , then I can jump in and ask him for thr truth without him realizing he's giving it to me. ( this is a secret and blessing for me)
This is something that I can use to alleviate the words during the day. As my guy is insecure in a lot of ways, and his fears come alive in his words.
Not everyone has things like I do. It took a while for me though, As we had a very bad patch where it was physical, and I left for a while. It made him see what he'd be without if I were gone for good.
Good Luck. I'll be praying for you.
2007-11-12 10:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by poetbjc64 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are not negative, because he is so mean. Your negativity is your own fault. It is an attempt to try to change him. He drinks, you get negative in an attempt to change him. Not smart. The proof is in the fact it hasn't worked.
Rule number one: Human Beings are individual beings that cannot be changed by others. People change because they want to really bad. This fact is as old as time.
Obviously, your husband really doesn't want to change or you would see signs of it. He'd be going to AA meetings or something. Therefore, since he doesn't want to stop drinking, you have two choices, tolerate it with a smile, or leave him.
2007-11-12 10:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by Ian D 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is incapable of being rational and having normal relationships because of his alcoholism... it's not the other way around.
You need to go to an Al-anon meeting and find a sponsor. Once there, follow your sponsor's suggestions and work the steps. You will soon find the answers to all of your questions and you will begin to heal.
Good luck. I will pray for you.
2007-11-12 09:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Best to divorce him before the hitting starts i was with alcoholic and he hit me so get away fast and don't take him back....don't give him a clue to were you are too OK....take my advice and get a divorce fast......good luck
2007-11-12 09:51:14 · answer #5 · answered by daisy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"What is the female equivalent of a ""guy friend""?"
2017-03-19 09:40:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"POLL: Do you like the name ""Jamie"" for a boy or girl?"
2017-02-06 12:46:13 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray to God and he'll take care of it for you. I promise! But just one time won't work, do it continually.
2007-11-12 10:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by Angel_Eyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you want to keep him around for?
Be rid of the bum and be firm about it. That dog don't hunt.
2007-11-12 16:30:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
typical alcoholic behavior
google "rational recovery" it will show you many symptoms you will recognize in him
be assured, it's not you
2007-11-12 09:48:49 · answer #10 · answered by ann s 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋