it was my birthday a couple of days a go,i got a card when he came home from work at the end of the day no prezzies nothing and to top it all i have 3 kids and nothing from them either. Y et he spent money to go on his fishing trip next weekend how would you deal with this
2007-11-12 08:43:41 · 27 answers · asked by astra 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nice thought reggie but no
2007-11-12 08:50:39 · update #1
i work too and pay the bills when birthdays come am really generous and thoughtful
2007-11-12 08:54:22 · update #2
well i work hard in my home i love to be loved dont expect a lot even if it cost 10p its some thing and a birthday only comes once a year
2007-11-12 09:00:48 · update #3
Remember his birthday the exact same way.
2007-11-12 08:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Teresa 5 · 6⤊ 3⤋
I am appalled. What some men think is acceptable behaviour! My husband organises presents and the children's presents too - they choose, he pays! If I were you, I would subtract a large proportion of money from the bank account and spend it on yourself at a spa the weekend after his fishing trip. I think its important that you talk to him about this as he surely can't believe he has done the right thing? If he says that he thinks its okay behaviour the remember to buy him zot at Christmas and see how he likes it! Next year, drop hints for what you want. I have a desk top file on my husbands computer which lists loads of stuff I would like so that he can choose from it! He lets me know what he wants and I write it all down so I can get him stuff he likes too. Its a chance to be spoiled and its only once a blinkin' year!!!!! I am so angry....
2007-11-12 10:23:16 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, Happy Birthday to you, first of all!
Yes, that's selfish. My husband's excuse is always 'I had no idea what to get you ... so I didn't get you anything'.
I don't think you'll get anywhere complaining directly to him. I waited until there were quite a few people present and one of my girlfriends was telling everyone about the lovely ring her husband had bought her for her birthday and I said 'Well, you're lucky, I didn't get anything' and my husband's friends all shouted at him and in the end he bought me some very expensive fruit trees - which happened to be what I wanted. Shame is the way but it would STILL be so much nicer if he bought me something lovely because he wanted to buy me something lovely.
And the same goes for your kids. And I can't buy you a prezzie from here so will give you a star instead.
2007-11-12 08:52:50 · answer #3 · answered by Sue C 4 · 3⤊ 4⤋
My ex was the same only thought about himself. My daughter on the other hand is wonderful and so generous. Why don't you buy yourself a nice present, you deserve that at least. And I hope you had a nice Birthday in spite of him.
2007-11-12 09:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by Bezza 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh gawd! You have high expectations, don't you? He got you a card, didn't he? He brings home money, doesn't he? And THIS is what you complain about?
This is an insignificant issue. Move on. Chose better battles.
Women who EXPECT the precise right gift on their birthday annoy the h*ll outta me. (I know this group is loaded with married and unhappy women, so go ahead, let the thumbs down begin).
Edit:
So what? In your mind, you're "generous and thoughtful" I'll bet he's generous and thoughtful, too, but you can't get past a gd birthday gift. It's a GIFT, a choice, an option, a present, a nice thing to do, not a God-given right!
2007-11-12 08:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by TryItOnce 5 · 2⤊ 5⤋
Unfortunately husbands can be like that sometimes. Kids don't quite understand the meaning of mothers getting presents either. Wives and mothers are sometimes taken for granted and it really sucks. Have you talked with him on how this makes you feel? Return the favor on your husbands birthday...maybe get him a broken fishing pole from a yard sale or a trash heap.
2007-11-12 08:50:29 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Behavin 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
When I was first married, to my husband of fifteen years now, but fifteen years ago, he asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said "nothing" do not ever use that word, bad choice for me, so do not say "nothing" when they ask you what you want for your birthday!
Because you know what I got that year, nothing!!!!! LOL, sure, it is funny now, but fifteen years ago, it was not!
I let him have it and I made him feel really, really, guilty for a long, long time, and I made him wait for what he wanted for a long, long time, if you know what I mean, and I kept on letting him know that when I said "nothing" I ment something.
I also let him know, that I was sorry for saying "nothing" and that I understood he was not a mind reader, and that we should communicate more!!! Which we did, now we have been "communicating" for fifteen years now, going on sixteen years this February!!!
And the best thing from being married so long now, is that I do not even tell him what I want, my husband gets a lot of help from our beautiful 10 year old daughter!!! LOL!!!
2007-11-12 08:54:46 · answer #7 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Actually for my b-day the only thing i got was sex and ya know what it didn't cost us a dime and it was a great gift to me :) gifts mean nothing, be happy for what you have, a loving husband
2007-11-12 09:07:27 · answer #8 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it, maybe turn on the water works.
Tell him how it makes you feel...
My boyfriend seems pretty selfish to me like 90% of the time... Like we got into cycling and he bought himself this guard for his chain. I noticed that my chain was causing a bit of damage and that i could use one also so i pointed it out to him. A few days later i opened the mail and a chain guard was there, a really nice one, i was well chuffed until i saw him throw the one on his bike into the bin and replace his...
Most of the time it just genuinely doesn't occur them. They are men.
There isn't any point treating him the same, he probably won't notice.
Once i point stuff out to my fella and have a bit of a sob, he feels really bad and tries (not often succeeding) in future.
2007-11-12 08:53:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
The only thing I can say is - I know how you feel!
When it comes to festive seasons, my hubby never made much effort into it. I was the one who thinks and plans but of course don't get appreciated.
I don't know if it helps - but there is no harm telling them how you feel I suppose? they need to appreciate you as a mum and a wife!
2007-11-12 09:43:03 · answer #10 · answered by melanie_lanc 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my bf is like that and bd and christmas.. valentine and easter.. i just do the same .. but we end up spending time with each other instead.. and instead of gifts we got memories.. yes a gift would be nice.. but sometimes memories of a nice evening just with each other is good too
2007-11-12 11:42:41 · answer #11 · answered by vis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋