The first time I found it I was shocked. I asked him about it and he said he does it ones in a while. But I know that recently he has been doing it more often, though he tries to cover it up. I'm really bothered. What should I do?
2007-11-12 08:39:04 · 31 answers · asked by smiles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
from Cindy M
It may just be an oral fixation that he never worked out as a child, and not actually an addiction to tobacco - he may just need to chew (make sure you have an alternative ready).
What does that mean? He does chew gum a lot. and i really mean A LOT
2007-11-12 08:52:14 · update #1
Tell him how you feel about the situation and confront him.
2007-11-12 08:42:33 · answer #1 · answered by :) 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At least he's not smoking, although neither are desireable habit. Ask him if he is stressed out about something or why he has suddenly picked up this nasty habit. My guess is that he's probably been a tobacco user in the past. This often times happens throughout the span of a tobacco users life time....the off and on use....maybe something triggered in his brain, a memory, the feeling of being relaxed or invigorated after chewing, those are all addictive qualities of chewing/smoking tobacco. My best bet is to let him know that you don't like his new habit and encourage him to quit because it is bad for his health. You could even slip him a picture of lifelong chewers here and there to show him what could potentially happen to him if he doesn't quit. Don't sweat the small stuff, I'm sure this is just one of his phases and he'll quit again when it loses its fun.
2007-11-12 08:45:52 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried smacking him in the head for being stupid yet? Make him painfully aware that chewing tobacco causes mouth cancer! Show him pictures of it. Scare the daylights out of him with it. My cousin had throat cancer from smoking. Its not pretty. Don't kiss him and tell him its because its like licking an ashtray. Just brow beat him to death about it until he stops, and keep some chewing gum around the house and in the car. It may just be an oral fixation that he never worked out as a child, and not actually an addiction to tobacco - he may just need to chew (make sure you have an alternative ready).
2007-11-12 08:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, you could do what my sister did and cut all the pockets off his pants. It makes carrying it around inconvenient! LOL But when that doesn't work (it didn't for her) try to be understanding.
She and I have both dealt with the same issue. She went about it agressively by cutting off pockets and emptying his cans to put in a family picture, you know, stuff like that. I decided to talk to my husband and let him know that I was not going to try to stop him, but that I love him and it concerns me. I told him that when he was ready I would be supportive in helping him quit. Trying to make him quit before he's ready is like trying to push a horse into a trailer, it just won't work!!! He may quit temporarily, but you'll be in for a long battle because he will keep going back and finding more ways to deceive you about it. TRUST me.....I've been there!!!
I am happy to say that now, even though it took a while, my husband has quit. And he was never dishonest about doing it after I told him I wouldn't make him quit. My sister's husband is still trying to hide it and has been lying to her for years!
Trying to control his actions will only set you up for disappointment and more deception. He will do what he wants to do regardless of what you say!
2007-11-12 09:06:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that it bothers you. But i dont think thats going to make him stop. BEcause he's a grown man and he can so whatever he pleases. And even if he says he will stop...he might not do it in front of you. He'll do it when he is out of the house and then might rinse his mouth or chew some gum to cover up the smell...dont give him any guilt trips it will make things worse. Just let him grow out of it. Sometime people catch on to habits and stop them. mayeb not as soon as you think but they will...
I went thru the same thing with my boyfriend. He had stopped smoking a year before. I know it's not liek chewing tabacco but similar. I told him that I stopped smoking. But then i was still smoking a cigg now and then when i went out clubbing , drink with my friends. It went on for awhile. And i just felt guilty about it and I stopped.
Just don't say anything. You can't force your husaband quit cold turkey. it takes time. You can bring it up now and then. but dont be to harsh about it. Because like i said he's just gonna do it outside of the house. He has to make this decision on his own. I mean at least he isnt puffing up nasty smoke in his lungs. But he does smell like tobacco and it makes his teeth yellow...lol. If it gets to the point where its getting out of hand. If you feel like you need to take it to another level. Put your foot down and let him know that you hate his stinky breath hahaha
welll good luck.
2007-11-12 08:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by blah blah 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im with you on this one, I refuse to let my husband smoke/chew ANYTHING. But that's the ONLY restriction. Tell him that if he continues chewing you'll leave him, even if it's insincere(not true) make it seem like your serious. If he doesn't believe you move for a week, don't call, don't answer HIS calls, just disappear(go to work of course) if that doesn't help then it's likely he doesn't really care about why you're trying to stop him from chewing-and I can't help you with that. Hope this helps.
2007-11-12 08:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by Juggalo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a man who chews tobacco myself all I can say is their is not much you can do. You can tell him how you feal about it. Tell him about the health hazards in it. The truth is he is going to keep doing it. My Wife use to tell me all the time that she hated it and disapproved of it but it's just a habit that's hard to break. Hope this helped
2007-11-12 08:43:41 · answer #7 · answered by Bandit_ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband is in the military where soooo many men chew tobacco, I think it is nasty! Anyway, my husband came home from training for four months and told me he tried it and I told him I was hurt since he knows I am totally against it (not against people who do it just don't want my family doing it...) I told him I couldn't/wouldn't kiss him since I didn't want that taste in my mouth and that was the end to his curiosity! It is all about the respect for one another, give and take. Good luck!
2007-11-12 08:43:40 · answer #8 · answered by Sierra 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can talk to him about how bad it is for his gums. Can cause gum disease if used often. Tell him that he should have told you about this and it bothers you. If he's a good guy he'd take that into consideration and stop or at least limit himself to doing it or not in front of you.
2007-11-12 08:43:50 · answer #9 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can do a couple things....let him see pictures of people who have gotten cancer of the mouth or throat from chewing tobacco. It's disgusting and disfiguring and also life-threatening.
Another thing....I would not kiss my husband after he chewed tobacco....I have no idea if you can be affected but I wouldn't take the chance....also in my opinion it's disgusting.
2007-11-12 08:49:26 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
start by talking to him. If he thinks you are gonna freak out, then he may not tell you the truth. Remember: this stuff is an addiction no matter how much he uses a day.
2007-11-12 08:44:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋