Last Friday night we went out to a local dance hall and had fun.
I don't drink and just like the entertainment, my wife got drunk, so drunk in fact she was crying.
We have a happy marriage and get along fine she just can't handle her liquor.
But the point of my question is she ran up a tab of $86.00 alone, now I know she didn't drink all that on her own.
I asked her if it was a mistake because sometimes that happens. She tried to say she forgot and then said she will tell me later. I wasn't mad I was just asking her.
Now she is not on with someone else but I bet she bought a round of shots for her and her/our friends while I was outside getting some air.
Why can't she just come out and tell me without all the games and trying to hide it?
I tell her I don't care what she spends our money on I just want her to be truthful.
2007-11-12 08:36:55 · 17 answers · asked by Hypnotoad 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She always drinks the same drink and it's $4.00 each.
Now she couldn't drink 22 rum based drinks on her own.
Also this sort of thing happens all the time, she just has this thing that she won't tell me the truth about stuff.
She would prefer to tell some big lie than just come out and tell me.
Marriage is about being honest and I tell her all the time I trust her so be honest with me. But she just can't seem to do it.
2007-11-12 09:04:59 · update #1
Would you consider attending meetings of what is called "Al-Anon" in the States - Alcoholics Anonymous Family Groups. It's a program for people who are bothered by the drinking of someone else - a friend or family member's.
Maybe a husband. Maybe a wife. Maybe a parent, son, daughter, brother, or sister. Someone in your life has a drinking problem. And their problem has started to become a problem for you.
It sounds to me as if that is happening with your wife. And the best way you can help both of you, is for you to get some help for yourself.
2007-11-13 09:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by Catherine V. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she very well could have ran up an $86.00 tab if she was drinking mixed drinks, do the math at five to six bucks a pop and if she was hammered, it's possible. Also keep in mind she was hammered so if she did buy someone else drinks she probably doesn't even remember doing so. You are the one being silly, thinking she is not telling the truth when she was so drunk she probably don't remember half the night.
Let it go at this point, especially if it isn't over how much she spent.
2007-11-12 16:53:21 · answer #2 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't do things for no reason. Maybe she was embarrassed or maybe she thought you'd be angry. I agree that trust and honesty are the most important things in a relationship and you need to explain that to her again.
Also in future, when you guys are going out. Agree to a number of drinks she can have, like two or three and that's it. There is no reason for someone to get sloppy, crying drunk. I'd also set a price limit too.
2007-11-12 17:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you have a problem bigger than a bar tab. If it's bothering you that she's not being honest, then you need to let her know it's an issue and/or get into couples counseling. Out-of-control drinking isn't good, but dishonesty is worse and can ruin your relationship.
Talk with her soon, and try to get this resolved.
2007-11-12 17:16:00 · answer #4 · answered by Countess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
86 is steep but not undo-able by yourself. I'm a beer drinker and a shot person...and my tabs were usually about $50 for the night, and that was just me alone. And some of my shots would get paid for. I couldn't imagine what it would be if I were a mixed drink and shot person.
2007-11-12 16:59:09 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some married men and women do this. They are scared of living a committed life, so they go crazy with drinking, or spending, or having fun with people of opposite sex.
There can be some deeper underlying issues. It is never easy to figure these out.
2007-11-12 17:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think she forgot. I think she doesn't want to tell you for a reason. She knows what she bought. So, now you have to figure out why. Do you judge her? Do you ever make comments about her getting drunk or anything like that?
There is a reason.
2007-11-12 16:44:34 · answer #7 · answered by ☆miss☆ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was that drunk she may very well not remember. But I know I could spend that much in one night when I go out. It really isn't that hard to do.
2007-11-12 16:43:07 · answer #8 · answered by cris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that she could of had a fragmented black out and doesnt honestly know and is embarassed?
Maybe she is not proud of her behavior and just doesnt want to discuss it at all..
Communicate your feelings to her..than step back and see how she responds.
Good Luck and Be Happy
2007-11-12 16:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by loladoreen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trouble in the woods friend... Next time keep and eye on her and see where she is going wrong... Good luck Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-11-12 21:59:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋