How can I improve my life?

Question

I'm having a few problems in life, I am 22 years old and since I was bullied at school 13-16 I lost my confidence which wasn't much in the first place.

I have no close friends. I feel like because I withdrew my self from social situations I have missed out on social development. I have never been to a night out with friends, I have had opportunities but never had the confidence to go. I've never had a girl friend. As I get older I am finding these problems more worrying and don't know how to tackle them.

The other thing I worry about is that I'm not very intelligent and do not have any career prospects. I'm not to keen on the idea of doing dead end jobs for the rest of my life.

My mood is ok most of the time but when I stop to think about where my life is going I feel upset.

Answer 1

i'd suggest you set yourself some objectives. start with small but achievable and realistics ones. Things you'd like to do/have/see for yourself. Once you hit them - move on - and set another couple. Success breeds success. Dont worry about the things you dont have yet...just focus on the few points within your immediate reach that you have absolute control over. Move on from there. Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm 24 and feel the same way, when i was at school I was bullied and told I was ugly etc on a frequent basis and I built a barrier around myself, I'm now very wary of people and have no self confidence, I often have suicidal thoughts but the thought of the pain it would cause my family, has always stopped me from pursuing it further. I was a quiet and unique individual at school and have always been rather arty, I had lots of optimism when I was 11 years old of having a career within the art industry but after having spent four years at college my qualifications have got me no where, I have no social life with people my own age and though I'm friendly people in the past have always ended up shoving it back in my face, I've never had a boyfriend and not likely to as men don't seem to find me attractive at all, all I can suggest is that if you can, talk to someone about your feelings, and ask for help and if you are able to take up a new hobby to enable you to meet others, if you are quiet shy like me though that isn't much help, but there are plenty of relevant helplines you can contact, There is no easy solution and it can be very annoying to tell someone who's had years of people putting them down, just to meet people and become more confident (that's easier said than done when you don't trust people)but it depends how badly you want to get out the rut you are in, good luck!

Answer 3

First you need to tackle one issue at a time because even though they all inter-link,by dealing with one,you will be supporting the other.
Being bullied any way is not nice,but what did you learn from it,from my past I learnt from the abusive situations that I found my self in,that one I would not let myself get taken emotionally down like that again,look for the strength in it,not the weakness of the situation,hope you understand what I mean.
You do need to try and go out,but rather than hitting the night club scene full on why not look at joining a group to do some thing that interests you,that way you will have a base line for some thing in comman with the people you meet.
you could go to night school to help with strengthening your career prospects....each avenue will open a window of opportunity and then it is up to you to take the chances thrown,don't be a victim,be some one who takes there life and changes their negative experiences into some thing positive,that will not only benefit you but others you meet,good luck.

Answer 4

Well at least uve got ur health and so with it u can pick up ur life

Firstly u want a career well so find something that u are willing to commit to
ur still young so decide what it is u want to study (what did u like studying back at school or better what intrest you now) and join an adult college of some sort or learn direct (if u live in th uk ) u no distance learning course so u study in ur own time while u still work

To be more social uve got ur confidence back go to a football match or invite ur friends round and tell them to invite a few others that u doint no that way u have to talk to them as they are ur guests for people to accept u uve to to be out going otherwise they leave u (this is the bit where u meet girls )

its not going to be easy and at times ull want to quit but dont jus take a small break pick up an carry on
uve experienced the fact that the world moves quickly so move with it

not sure if ive helped :S well good luck :D!

Answer 5

you sound a bit like I was, you're not stupid, you're intelligent as long as you use it, dont sit back, to be strong you must not try to be strong, it wont all come at once, work on it bit by bit every day.

Get involved in group activities in which you're interested, get off the internet. Go to a gym, excercise is a wonderful thing, your body needs it. Do some maths, read some books, the librarys great, there are also sometimes nice looking librarians to talk to.

Set out a list of what you want and how you are going to get it, you can be anything you want to be. Dont dwell on the past, thats history, think about the present, what you can do now, AND DO IT, write on the wall DONT THINK, DO!!! in red pen, red is the best colour for the memory to remember. Try meditation, try whatever you like, you're 22, you can be anything you wnat to be, do it

Answer 6

I understand how you feel, I have a few suggestions. If you hav not gone to college, look into it. you are a good age for it, and you will meet many new friends from it. Not only that, but you will increase your education, leading to you getting a better job. in college, you can find yourself and what you love to do, and then pursueing it as a career.

If you have gone to college already, or dont want to do it, there are other options. first of all, try doing new things to meet people. Learn about something you'd like to do as a career or just something fun, such as art, business, etc.

take those opportunities to go out with friends! you wont regret it. or YOU invite some people out, they dont have to be close.

What do you love to do? try to better yourself in it.

buy yourself new clothes, get a haircut, so as to bring up your self confidence.

you meet girls at work, so explore different job feilds. I dont know what your interested in dso i cant recomend any jobs, but lets say your interested in writing. dont just think the only job for you is an author, think wider; journalist, editor, proof reader, tv show writer.... see what i mean? you just have to widen your feild of possible enjoyable jobs.

you say you aren't very intelligent. (im sure your more intelligent than you think, youre simply very inseccure right now). but think about your other talkents. are you artistic? do you have knowledge of one sort of feild, are you good at sports, are you friendly? build from there.

maybe, if you can, get a therapist. its not weird, people do it just so they have someone to talk to. you'd get personalized advice, and you'd build up your self-worth. talk to a close family member. maybe even get a pet?

just remember, you're 22! your so young still. you have got the rest of your life to fill, you just have to see the opportunities right in front of you

Answer 7

You are not unintelligent - that is clear by your thoughts, the way you express yourself and your written skills.

You do not have to do a dead end job. Think about the things you like and what you would like to do. If you need to, consider doing a college course to work towards your goal.

You can meet people through joining a gym, volunteer activities, evening classes...

Your confidence will grow and you will make many friends along the way.

Answer 8

first of all what are your strong points... what doyou like to do? paint, play music, computers, words, writing whatever pu t them in a note book as positives and draw a column of things you dont like..... forget the bullying it i s over with i was bullied in school too... get in groups or social circles of intertest to you join them in your area you will make friends... i m not sure what things you like but find the things you do in these circles.... the time will come also when you meet the girl of your dreams,,,,, are you in college by the way? good luck to you and i wish you the VERY best! smiles!

Answer 9

hi ryan!

I know exactly how you feel. I'm a senior in highschool now, and i used to be one of the least confident people. I'm kind of a class clown, mainly to cover up my insecurities. I have changed a lot though to become more confident and get out there in the world and meet new people. I sort of realized if i didn't make some changes i would always be unhappy with myself. I hated to go out with my friends or i never really wanted to get to know people really well. I pretty much forced myself to go out with my friends and forced myself to talk to people that i didn't really know, even complete strangers and have met some really great people and had the best times of my life, so much fun!. You have to realize that no one is straight up gonna reject you if you just say "hi how are you? or ask them a general question about themself." people usually like to talk about themselves. maybe suggest going out somewhere with people your comfortable with or find interesting. Make yourself join clubs or activities that you would enjoy, then there will be people there who have simmilar interests as you do, and talk to them and get to know them. i think you need a confidence boost also, maybe get a new haircut, a new jacket that looks great on you, etc. really no one is out to get you, just be yourself and open up a little, i learned to do it too, unfortuanately the hard way. good luck!!

Answer 10

Since u know of your shortcomings,work on them.U will be fine.