I have been with my wife for 8 yrs. We used to be sexual a minimum of once a day. However, for the past couple years, it's been about twice a month. I am a very sexual person and and am going crazy for the lack of. I try not to pressure her so I don't upset her. She has also not been treating me the same, she makes me feel like she just doesn't even care anymore, even though I treat her like she's the world. We have a son together so us seperating is not an option right now, he is my life and I can not bare to be without him. My question is this, what are your opinions about, if I should look elsewhere? I am not one for cheating and never have been, however I almost feel like she deserves it sometimes.
2007-11-12 07:59:40 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why are you mentioning separating because there isn't sex?
Your basing your entire marriage to go into separation/divorce and cheating b/c of lack of sex???
Try communicating, it's the real deal. As far as going else where, it goes back to communicating with your wife. Way to seek permission tho, get real.
2007-11-12 08:13:02 · answer #1 · answered by Yummy♥Mummy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She would be upset if you cheated... But marriage for a woman is hard too. She is probably just as bored and lonely as you are which is why she can go around and treat you like she doesn't care very much. It sounds like she's sleepwalking through your relationship... she's expecting you to be faithful so she doesn't give your sexual needs much of a thought. An affair would definitely start a fire, but the price you pay could be harsh. That's the way marriage ends up tho... hot and heavy and then like twice a month and then staying together for the kids's sake. Try lighting a fire under her... do put pressure on her.. ravage her with something different.
2007-11-12 08:12:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't look elsewhere. Women don't just stop having sex unless there is something wrong, physically or mentally. You say you treat her "like she's the world". But, do you do things for her that SHE likes, rather than what YOU think a woman likes? Every woman is different. Some women love it when guys buy them gifts, others love it when they do housework. Maybe the way you say "I love you" is different from hers. Did it just start after having your son? Maybe she feels unattractive after having a kid, or perhaps she is just so tired from raising him? Are you a "get in, get out" guy? Maybe spend some extra time with foreplay, from massaging her feet to brushing her hair, whatever feels nice for her. Also, sometimes you do have to push things a bit. A lot of women are slow starters, but once they do get warmed up you'd be surprised how willing they are. Whatever you decide, I don't think this is divorce material, and I'm sure you would want to do the right thing and honour your wedding vows. Things can change. Marriage is hard work.
2007-11-12 08:09:30 · answer #3 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You think you have problems NOW? Try cheating and THEN you will KNOW what "relationship problems" are...ever hear "hell hath no furry like a woman scorned".
But honestly, if your end goal is to STAY married and be happy, is going outside your realtionship the step that you need to take to achieve that goal? I. THINK. NOT. Instead it will ONLY divide you further, anc cause hurt that nothing you can ever do or say will resolve. I understand sex is an important part of a healthy relationship, and when there is problems in that area (or any other) it can cause anger, resentment, etc etc, however, there is a better way to handle this situation, maybe therapy. Often times, its not "sex" that is a problem, its the end result, maybe counciling will help you both get to the root of the problem and offer other HEALTHY alternative ways in dealing with such issues. Good Luck.
It takes a LIFETIME to build trust, and seconds to destroy it.
2007-11-12 08:29:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
As a female who is actually in your shoes. I have the opposite of what you have. A man that is not as sexual and we have sex about twice a month and I feel that sometimes it is just out of pity or he thinks he has too. I am committed to this person and no matter what my frustration, I will not wander. "Urge control". Is your relationship worth an orgasm. Acceptance works for me. I don't expect something he is not willing to give. Our relationship in all other areas is wonderful. I know I can easily find a man who is very sexual, but what else will he provide me. That is my two bits.
2007-11-12 08:19:08 · answer #5 · answered by saphirehon 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
staying in a marrage because of your son is a lousy reason !
I am sorry, but if you two are moving you seperate ways,better off ending it, and your son will be fine as long as he has time with both of you and he knows he is loved.
Maybe she is at a point in her life where she doesnt know what she wants. I think some woman go through this from time to time.
If you feel like having an affair - well thats your business,but your better off ending the relationship you currently have and then having your affairs to fullfill your needs.
I know different people have different sex drives, and if you realy feel like some thing or some things are lacking, then its time to evaluate your relationship at hand,, and have you talked with her ??
communication is the key !
seriously though if your feeling like you need to cheat and she deserves it - the by all meens - its time to call it quits
2007-11-12 08:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You definitely need to talk to her about it.
Maybe she is having some issues also. Why doesn't she want to have sex??
WHY would she "deserve" to be cheated on? You should explore that? Why do you feel that way?
If your contemplating divorce over this issue AND you said you can't bear to be away form your son.. you need to look at what is really going on..
You should be with her because you LOVE her not because of your son..
This is a common and easily solved problem if you communicate your feelings to her in a positive way.
Before you do this.. get yourself and how you "really" feel straightened out.
I think you will be surprised on why she doesn't want to have sex also.. there has to be a reason..ask her Her feeling need to be validated also.
Good luck to you.
2007-11-12 08:54:58 · answer #7 · answered by loladoreen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
however I almost feel like she deserves it sometimes.? Dude r u her father or her husband ? seriously handing out punishment oh if you wont root me I'll go f*ck someone else there that'll teach you come off it how old r u?
She's got a child , does she work? does she stay home and clean all day cook , wash dishes what?
What have you done to encourage her to want to have sex with you? and would you people quit with your garbage about it's a medical condition or she's depressed or its this or that .
You've given very little information all I am hearing is you , you , you oh n your son.Men think once that ring is on the finger the romance stop's no more dinner's out or in for that fact yet expect wifey dearest to just jump in her monkey suit and start performing like a good lil sex toy that she is .
WRONG!!!!! make the effort mate , cook her a romantic dinner , run her a bath , give her an all over body massage , then maybe she'll wanna make a move after you do .
OR
Go out and cheat after all she deserves it right? does your son? you dont think this wont effect him ? man you got a tornado brewing in your house hope your ready for it seriously , because she finds out your even contemplating it you've already lost 50% of everything plus visitation with your son.Hope it's worth it .Just because you havent done it dont mean jack doo doo , your contemplating it and asking us to give you permission , cheater's always blame the wive's or husband's because their incapable of taking responsbility for their own part in the destruction of their marriage.
2007-11-12 08:41:16 · answer #8 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Take a day where there have been no arguments or stress and talk to your wife, do not be judgmental or accusatory. Tell her how you feel and how you want to be with her so badly and if this is something you can work on. And listen to her, do not interrupt her. If that does not change things, ask her if she would like to go see a counselor with you and try and work this issue out, and if not then you might have to decide if having no sex in your marriage is worth leaving the marriage or not.
2007-11-12 08:05:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your wife is selfish she is only looking out for herself the question is you have to find out why. Is she cheating? Has she found someone to give her goodies too? This could be way more complex than you realize. I personally think you as her husband have a right to find out why she is treating you like that wheather she gets upset or not. She does not care about your feeling why care about so confront your wife on all her actions and stop being a wuss and man up punk.
2007-11-12 08:08:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋