My husband tells me that he loves me and wants to be here in this home,but yet we had a problem a yr. ago and he made friends with some girl on the internet behind my back, but he was suppose to stop talking to her I just didn't feel right because he had to do it all behind my back.But now he still talking to her and told me that they (her&supposely she is married)are his freinds not mind,and I will never meet them,but she has come up to his work to visit,that is all he will tell me.He has lied about her for the past year, what am I to do we have two kids and I want this marriage to work but I don't want to be disrespected in any way. If I did what he did he would flip.Am I even wrong for staying in this marriage, someone help with alittle advice.
2007-11-12 07:29:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also he carries her # in his notebook for work with him,and he never talks to her around me.
2007-11-12 07:31:27 · update #1
But he does work and come home even his lunch he comes home,to my knowlegde all he does is talk to her but the # he wrote down only say her name not her husband too,what's up with that?
2007-11-12 07:34:05 · update #2
He is cheating in his heart even if he is not doing it with his body. You deserve someone who won't lie to you and wish he was with someone else.
Good Luck
2007-11-12 07:38:36 · answer #1 · answered by mn lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does not mean that they are hooking up, but it is cause for concern. I talk by e-mail to an old grilfriend from high school. I brought it up to my wife years ago and she was not happy about it. The old gf lives far away and we have never mentioned hooking up, I wouldn't I just like to hear from her. Your cas is a little different. Trust is a very fragile thing and a very important thing. I would suggest (even though nobody ever does it), that you seek a marriage counselor. It would help to have an outsider on this one, because he will just get defensive with you and then you will get angry and hurt. I have to tell you I think that if she lives far away you probably have nothing to worry about, I just think he could handle the situation better. There could be an underlying problem here with you and your husband though. Obviously everyone needs someone to talk to sometime, but you should be his best friend
2007-11-12 15:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband wants to have his cake and eat it!! He is totally disrespecting you. You have to decide whether you want to be treated this way or you want to get your self respect back. I would talk with him and tell him its you or her. I know this harsh but that is the only way you are going to know isnt it? He has been lying to you despite the fact that you ahve children together, that to me would set alarm bells ringing. And like you said if you did what he did he would flip, so why arent you flipping?!! If you want to give this marriage a try you need to be open,honest and firm with him, but I suspect that he wont change. In that case I would pick yourself up and move on. You are worth so much more than him!!
2007-11-12 15:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by jodee1kenobi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is really disrespecting you. He is committing emotional infidelity, if not actual adultery. The only reasons for secrets is, what he is doing is wrong. Guaranteed!
Stand up for yourself. Tell him it is her or you. If he wants to stay married to you, he has to dump her. If he won't then your marriage is worth nothing anyway. File for divorce, the grounds, adultery on his part. Don't sit there and let him keep doing this to you. Be strong!
2007-11-12 15:43:19 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is total disrespect to u, when someone is involved with another just emotionally its still cheating, and most affairs began innocently enough just knowing a person, communicating, but after awhile it usually becomes more serious and if he hasn't stopped talking to her than anything can happen and may. u can tell if your respected by his behavior and actions toward u, and his willingness to stop things that hurt u.
2007-11-12 15:53:32 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is "his friend" and not a "mutual friend"
(which by the way you have if your married) then they are having sex whether you believe that or not...Hire someone and have him followed, at least you'll know.
2007-11-12 15:33:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have a respect issue, I think you have a trust issue. If you want him to stop talking to her, stop bringing it up, he may be doing this just to upset you.
2007-11-12 15:41:35 · answer #7 · answered by Bad_Kity 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he's playing and didn't invite you to the game.
2007-11-12 15:35:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋