Do you consider yourself to be co-dependant?

Question

Personally I am far from it, I don't like depending on other people.

Answer 1

Better that than a co-defendant.

Answer 2

Basically, co-dependency isn't necessarily depending on other people. People who are co-dependent are usually brought up in an alcoholic or other addictive home and have had to adapt to that trauma in order to survive. Usually, co-dependents try to change other people's behavior, try to control situations, etc. Also, they are the caretakers ... you hear of a lot of relationships in which one partner doesn't live up to their responsibilities, so the co-dependent in the relationship makes up for it ... they're working when the other person can't hold down a job; they're cleaning the house and taking care of the kids while the partner is sitting in front of the tv and has been all day while the co-dependent has been at work; while the addict is at the bar, the co-dependent is at home fixing dinner and when the addict doesn't come home to eat, the co-dependent makes them a plate and puts it in the refrigerator; the addict can't walk, let alone drive, so the addict calls the co-dependent to pick them up; if the addict has a job, it will be the co-dependent who calls the employer and makes up an excuse (other than a hangover) as to why the addict isn't at work; etc. Actually, co-dependents can't rely on their partner ... their partners are usually addicts and far from being responsible, so it's the co-dependent who has to (or feels that they have to) take up the slack. Actually, co-dependents are usually over-responsible. They feel responsible for their partner's actions, feelings, abuse, etc. They're usually the ones who apologize for everything. They believe that if they do the right thing, say the right thing, etc., that the addict will change. It's not easy for a co-dependent to change their behavior ... they were brought up in a severely dysfunctional home, and, subconsciously, they re-enact that trauma over and over. They recreate that trauma in their adult relationships by subconciously choosing addicts for mates, unless they work on changing themselves and recognizing their behavior. "Normal" is very uncomfortable because it isn't something they know. And, by the way, the "dependency" part of the co-dependent refers to the alcohol or other addiction of the partner; thus, co-dependency.

I believe you are referring to people with dependent personalities ... that's an entirely different issue.

Answer 3

We are all co-dependent to a certain extent, but I think for being married, I am not very co-dependent at all. My husband and I are very much individuals, but depend on each other for some things of course!!

Answer 4

I hate to be co dependant but I depend on my fiance a lot to make sure everything is running smoothly at the house

Answer 5

I am the farthest thing from co-dependant. I live by myself, own my own house and car and work my as$ off every day to make sure I continue to be IN-dependant.

Answer 6

Dependant and co-dependant are two different things. You can depend on other people without being co-dependant.

Answer 7

I can be independent, but when i am in a long-term relationship I tend to be co-dependent, because thou I could do things myself, it's nice to know that someone else will help you out too!

Answer 8

Well, I depend on my husband to a certain extent. I think vice versa. It is healthy in a marriage to do so.

Answer 9

i depend on my husband for a lot of things so yes i would say i am but i don't think in a bad way i think it is expected that you depend on your significant other.

Answer 10

No, I stand on my own and I let others stand on their own.
I am very independent, however, it is nice to have people I know I could count on, even though I don't NEED to. And it is nice to be there for the people I love.