okay, my husband thinks that we need a trial separation to try to remember the love, need and want of eachother. He says that we don't know eachother anymore. It's hard to get a babysitter so date night is out unless we have it at home. Advice please!!!
2007-11-12 06:02:59 · 10 answers · asked by momof5 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me like your husband has a girlfriend or is looking for one. Men need attention and will find it where it is available. And it is not just sexual attention they crave, they also want to feel connected emotionally & intellectually.
1. Give the kids a bedtime and be firm about it. My daughter is 9 and goes to bed every night at 8:30 (Lights out and tv off at 9:30). Find a babysitter (quit making excuses!) your mom, his mom, a sister, cousin, neighbor - someone will watch your children for a couple hours every once in a while (at least 2 times a month!)
2. Once kids are in bed (EVERY NIGHT!!) make special time for your husband. Pour yourself a glass of wine and grab him a beer, TURN OFF THE TV!
3. Listen to him! Ask him to tell you about his day.
4. HAVE SEX WITH HIM!!! Even when you don't feel like it. MEN NEED SEX! It's a fact of life and if you do not have sex with him he will find someone who will.
5. Initiate sex...Don't make him be the one to beg for it all the time. If you are too tired at night then wake him up in the morning with a surprise.
6. Probably most important Quit B'ching all the time. Most men feel like they work all day (usually not a lot of fun) then they come home and their wife is nagging and complaining - then they simply find someone to turn to that just is a pleasure to be with - someone who is happy to see them, never complains, and makes love to them.
If you do not want to be a single mother then I suggest you take care of your husband. And in turn be sure he takes care of you! I would assume he still loves you and wants it to work out right now so you must change these things immediatly! A trial separation is an easy way to say he's done.
2007-11-12 06:34:13 · answer #1 · answered by Darla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband wants a divorce but is too coward to tell you so. How in Sam Hell is getting seperated supposed to bring you closer together? He is lying. You need to get a babysitter and have more time together as a couple---check your local highschool and see if they have a list of kids looking for sitter jobs. But at any rate, how is being apart going to help you remember the love you feel? I don't understand that---he is looking for seperation here. It sounds like marriage counseling is needed, but you need to get a sitter for that. Or, have date night at home! Feed the kids, put them to bed, and then make a nice dinner or get take out and talk, and then rent a movie or take it into the bedroom for some one on one. It's just never a good sign when a man wants a seperation. Caution!
2007-11-12 06:09:54 · answer #2 · answered by Marina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trial separations are never there to remember the love, there are to see how you feel on your own, and more than likely, you are going to be taking care of the kids yourself during this 'trial separation' and he is going to be pretty happy! Don't do it. If he wants to stay together and there are major issues, see a marriage counselor. If there are minor issues, find a baby sitter and spend some time together, go out on dates, etc. Its not that hard to find a baby sitter.... parents of your children's friends, siblings, cousins, neices, nephews, grandparents, or put an ad in the paper if you need to.
2007-11-12 06:10:04 · answer #3 · answered by LP 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it can't be THAT hard to get a sitter...ask friends, family, friends kids...your marriage did not end when you had kids, you still have to put each other first BEFORE the kids if you want them to grow up with married parents. And honestly I don't think a simple "date night" is going to save anything at this point if he's talking about separating. If you two do work it out I would suggest staying on top of things so that you don't need to separate to "remember the love" too often...
2007-11-12 06:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is stupid get some counselling it is common knowledge
the trial seperations cause more harm then good. You should never agree to this does he want this so he can have a fling without you getting pissed. I think you need to ask yourself this question why on earth does my husband want this. You do not say how old your kids are do they have friends and are they old enough for a sleep over?. maybe send to the grandparents for a couple of days a rekindle the flames of passion in you marriage.
FIND GOD AND PRAYER.
2007-11-12 06:13:19 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try being alone TOGETHER before being alone apart? That would make sense. Why is your husband so quick to give up? Find a babysitter and spend a weekend away, see if that works. If not, kick his a$$ for giving up so easily.
2007-11-12 06:06:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes time apart is a good thing maybe for your marraige you should give it a try it is a good way of spicing things back up again
2007-11-12 06:08:57 · answer #7 · answered by ღKrissyღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds fishy to me..! trial seperation for what??? i mean come on with kids what the hell does he excpect...lol..
tell him to help u with the kids more..that would give u some free time!
2007-11-12 06:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by lisa baby... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wants another woman. wants the sep to do it and not feel guilty
2007-11-12 06:21:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit your job and be a SAHM.
2007-11-12 06:06:41 · answer #10 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋