I think in the long run my son will be let down and disappointed with broken promises and no visits. He hasn't come to visit once in a year. What is the right thing to do?
2007-11-12 05:31:37 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
child support and visitation are two separate issues.
Don't cut off his communication.
2007-11-12 05:44:10 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's take a look at the legal issues as the emotional ones don't really matter.
First, as you have been told, custody, visitation and support are all separate issues to the court. Therefore, while your ex may be in contempt of the support order, by cutting communications with the child you will also be in violation of any custody/vistation order imposed by the court.
Second, simply because he moved from the jurisdiction of the court is not grounds to violate the court order. Legally, he is not required to stay in the jurisdiction because he does not have custody. And the court has no personal jurisdiction over him, only over the child. Therefore, either of you may move as you see fit, however, the child must remain within the courts jurisdiction until such time as the ex agrees to a relocation or the court allows such.
Third, as you have seen, he is not required to remain in the jurisdiction. however, if he moves to a different state, does not pay support and it reaches $5,000 or more in arrears, then it becomes a federal failure to support felony for which he can receive prison time and a loss of rights.
Otherwise, it is an issue for contempt and child support enforcement and nothing more.
2007-11-12 05:42:33 · answer #2 · answered by hexeliebe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that the first thing you think of is how to punish your ex and the only thing that comes to mind is shutting off all phone conversations. In the long run though that's only going to hurt your son. He, your ex, may not be visiting but at least he is talking to your son on the phone. As far as him not paying the support...you can have his wages garnished if you take it back to court. I would!
2007-11-12 05:40:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The right thing to do is not stand in the way of the limited communication he wants to have with your son.
Also, you need to keep your feelings about your son's father to yourself. Children centralize everything. If he hears about how much of a jerk his father is, your son will naturally assume the same of himself. This is where the real damage that you are worried about comes from.
You cannot make him be a father. I am sorry for that. But in the best interest of your son, if he calls, he should be allowed to speak to his father. I know it is not much, but to the child it is a big deal.
Good luck. I will pray for you.
2007-11-12 05:38:41 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the courts, if he isn't doing what he has been ordered to do, that's contempt. As far as your son, this is what you do, try to maintain as much normalcy as possible. Try not to say any bad things about his father in front of him. He's only 5 now, but he will form his own opinion later in life. He will love you more if you tried everything and his Dad put forth no effort. My father was never there, my mother never said one harsh word about him to us, never cut us off from visits or phone calls which were few and far between, and she never got a dime for child support. Who do you think we love and respect more now? You can do it!
2007-11-12 05:37:53 · answer #5 · answered by goodgirlabout2gobad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just don't hurt yr son's feeling. at this age, he should b seeing his father as his hero. don't make him believe the contrary. like u wouldn't tell him that father christmas doesn't exist. let him judge 4 himself when he grows older. as 4 financial support, i know it's not easy, but i would ask u 2 b brave n show yr ex that u can do without him. work hard 4 yr child n make a good future 4 him. one day he'll b proud of u. Yr ex will only b ashamed of himself. if he had a little self-respect, he wouldn't even wait 4 court judgement to do something 4 his own child. Be courageous my dear!
2007-11-12 05:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by lotus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go to court to get an order compelling him to pay support, even if it means garnishing his paycheck. You should also advise the court that the father is ignoring his visitation rights. Those are the sticks you have. As for carrots, you should let the father call his son IF he brings his support up to date and continues to pay it.
2007-11-12 05:37:28 · answer #7 · answered by Spartacus! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Leave the legal matters out of the father/son relationship. But pursue him in court or there is tons of companys out there (one is featured on maury) that find the parent and get the back owed child support. If they dont pay the fathers divers lisc can be suspended and they can garnish his wages.
2007-11-12 05:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you THINK your son will be let down but you don't know for sure and punishing your child with no communication in the meantime is not the right thing to do...just my opinion. you're son needs to know his father cares and if that means talking on the phone once every 6 months, it's better than nothing.
2007-11-12 05:35:06 · answer #9 · answered by laura1977 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but visitation (including phone calls) has nothing to do with child support. It really sucks that the dad can't get his crap together and your child will learn (perhaps the hard way) that dad ins't all together. Let him talk to his dad but also let him know that sometimes dad says things and may have good intentions but not follow through. That doesn't mean everyone in your son's life will be that way.
2007-11-12 05:36:13 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_sensation775 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋