How do you go about living with a cheater when you can't afford to leave?

Question

Hi, I am a 23 year old college student. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I married a man who I thought I was madly in love with after only a few months of knowing him. I don't have family to turn to and no friends that can help. I recently found out unbeknownst to him that he has been meeting women online to have sexual relations. I have to stay here in his home for right now because I have nowhere else to go, and I do not work, but am looking for a job now. What's the best way to handle this situation? A little bit of advice please?!

Answer 1

He knows you have nowhere to go and he might exploit that, but use your smarts; stay polite but let him know you're not a fool! You deserve so much more and getting a STD from your cheating husband isn't one. Pray about it and be safe! Good Luck!

Answer 2

WOW! My advice to you is to get out no matter what and however you can! I am recently divorced, on the 8th. I married a man when i was 22 years old. I was young and nieve and right out of college. he was 10 years older than me and seemed wonderful. I immediately got pregnant. I had my son and thank GOD that I had him in my life or I probably would have had nothing to grasp onto. I found out not long after I got pregnant, that my husband had been cheating on me since day 1! To make a long story short, I stayed with him for 7 years for the same reason that you are - financial stability. I ended up throwing him out last fall and just made it happen! I had to get a job - I hadn't worked in 7 years (only part time). I took care of my child and made it work. You cannot allow someone to take away your self esteem and your dignity. Do whatever it takes! Get a roomate - if you have a will there is a way.

Answer 3

No... you ALWAYS have options!!! You do NOT have to stay with him... you are chosing to stay with him for the moment. It is a choice you are making by doing nothing.

Talk to a councelor and see if there is some campus housing or something he/she can do to help you find a job, and a place to stay. Place an ad and put it on the bulletin board saying you need a roommate... or check for other postings. FOLLOW THROUGH!!

Then check your local hotlines in the phone book. They don't only help abused women... tell some women your story and see what they can do to help. Every man/woman makes a big mistake at some point... yours is just trickier to get out of at this point.

And if you cannot find someone to help you after all that then think long and hard for someone who can loan you some money!! There is always someone that you know who you could ask if you are just down on your luck. Just make sure to make a contract (for them and you) and pay them back with checks.

Answer 4

I was in that position, married for almost two yrs, one baby boy and another one on the way. I was almost 21 yrs old. I found out my husband at that time was cheating and he lied about it until one day I busted him trying to have sex with one of my little sisters. I left him. I rented a room for my baby boy and myself and had a girlfriend of mine babysit my baby while I worked and put college on hold. Saved like crazy, bought another car for myself, eventually went back to college (medicine) graduated, put kids in day care, still worked at night after second child born, slept while they were in day care and preschool, eventually started my own business' went back to school for many years and received my Doctorate. Hadn't seen him since 83 when my divorce was final, rumor had it he died 22 yrs ago, he wasn't interested in his kids nor did he pay support of any sort. My point is many things to chose from, just pray and let the Lord lead you, there are rooms to rent in many areas. As for looking for work, be very flexable in relocating. Don't put yourself in a little box, explore and go where ever your are lead and don't fall for some man who says he loves you unless he is proving it with actions. Actions speak louder than words! :) Remember that not all men are cheaters ! If it doesn't kill you it definitely makes you stronger! You sound lost but strong. Keep the faith! You can always go to a church for help too. :) Take care and you are in my prayers. :)

Answer 5

Wow, sorry to hear that your in that sucky situation. I would try to suck it up the best you can, maybe try to make things work and approach him about your findings. Sounds like it's on the out anyways. I would try to get to working asap and maybe take up shack in a nice motel until you can do something more permanent. Good luck honey.

Answer 6

Find a way to leave some how. If not learn how to act and play him for now and get as much as you can get out of him. take him for all he has got. he messed with u now mess with him . what goes around comes around. he deserves it. stay with him and takes his stuff away from him. until you can leave but play it off as if you have no clue . if u still have sex with him always use a condom tho.

Answer 7

im sorry this is happening to u...is there a guest room? sleep there or on the couch...tell him u need a lil space...but dont wanna mess things up...try not to argue cuz he might end up kicking u out...
again im sorry i know this is painful... my fiance was talkin to other women online but never took it to real life..so i forgave that...but it does hurt..and to this day i still question is he cheating or not...
its hard...but do what ur heart tells u to...find u a good job... get out.... if u need to talk email [e-mail]

Answer 8

Go to a womans shelter, file for divorce, and get on welfare.
As long as you have proof that he is cheating on you.
Otherwise, stick it out until you have what you need.
The sooner you get away the better.

Answer 9

Well where were you staying before you moved in with this man? How did you support yourself then? Maybe you could go back to that...