What does this mean? should I be worrying? I feel sick to the stomach with it and cant understand why, We have been married for 25 years and as far as I am aware he has never shown any interest in the same sex.
2007-11-12 04:03:04 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You should not be snooping around in people's private files. Don't admit that you have peeping on him or else he will feel betrayed and you will push him further away.
If he is merely looking at "bi" and not exclusively "gay" porn than that does not mean he is only attracted to men. He might have an interest in both sexes.
If you want to find out if he desires men, reveal a hidden fetish of yours (it doesn't have to be true) and ask him to reveal one of his and do not respond in a judgmental way.
If he has only been looking at porn and has not been cheating on you that is no reason to wreck 25 years of marriage.
2007-11-12 04:15:48 · answer #1 · answered by a m 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The chances are very good that he's interested in other guys; I don't know him to know for certain but there's a definite reason he's going to these sites.
Don't confront him. Maybe sometime when you're intimate- maybe even during sex- ask him casually if there is some fantasy that he's always wanted to try. Maybe it'll come out then.
Pardon my being graphic (and perhaps insensitive), but you could also- in the heat of the moment- ask him if he's ever thought of a three-way with you and another guy. Then he will have an opening to tell you if there's something he's hiding. (Most straight guys will immediately shrug off the idea.)
Don't give up on him yet until you know something for certain... maybe he's just in a rut or overly stressed.
But definitely get yourself tested for your OWN peace of mind.
2007-11-12 05:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by Michael K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe the truth about a man's sexuality is what he chooses to seek out on the Internet... that doesn't mean he wants to leave you for a man.. men have the capacity ( unlike most women ) to separate their sexual appetite from their emotional connections... however... I can say that I have been ASTOUNDED by how many "married with kids" supposedly "straight" men are on gay "hook-up" sites... for me THAT would be the clear indicator... if he's just looking at porn... that's different from going on manhunt.net or something... where the primary goal is to meet local guys for a quicky....
2007-11-12 04:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless you're a bigot, there's no reason to be "sick to the stomach with it". For one thing, there's nothing wrong with anyone showing an "interest in the same sex". For another thing, perhaps he's just curious? You can research LGBT sites or have LGBT friends and not be LGB or T, yourself. (My hubby has a bisexual wife and few gay friends - he's hetero.)
If you want to know what he's doing and why, ASK him. Honesty and communication are the most vital aspects of ANY relationship. And if it turns out that he IS curious about it and wants to "experiment", let him. No one should ever force their own beliefs (religious or otherwise), morals, or values onto others - not even spouses or other family members.
2007-11-12 04:22:17 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsy 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you don't quite get the fact that a man on man site is not bisexual, it 's gay. You should really have a talk with him and see what's going on. He may be having a midlife crisis, or he may be trying to come out of a closet he's been in for a loooong time. You might also consider couples counseling
2007-11-12 04:09:43 · answer #5 · answered by nekhbet 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
for 25 years you haven't notice anything think back now maybe a hint or a peek at something. He might just be curious or he has been hiding a secret for 25 years and might be tired of hiding it.
2007-11-12 04:35:49 · answer #6 · answered by rosalyn_1973 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would find that a problem. Obviously, he was SOME kind of interest in the same sex that you are unaware of. You need to be open about it and confront him.
2007-11-12 04:21:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means he is curious - - and most me satisfy their curiosity.
He might be putting you at risk - I think I would have to have a talk with him - after 25 years you should be able to be open and honest.
2007-11-12 05:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is a problem. He is gay or Bi! You will lose him in the near future, so plan your life and move on. Also check deeper in the computer and make sure he is not looking at children. This problem is deeper than you think. You just found out now and he has probably been doing it longer than you know.
2007-11-12 04:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
there may or may not be a problem you do need to ask him about his feelings because he is at least thinking of it. and ask him if the marriage is over is hard to stay in a marriage when ones not truly happy very hard and if its over somehow pick up the pieces and move on hard to do but both partners need to happy
2007-11-12 04:26:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋