Translating poem---easy!?

Question

My classmates don't understand this poem. But I think it's simple. Please tell me what you think each stanza refers to.

Others Have Bone

At times one forgets others have bone;
The encasing skull only so deep.
Life exists outside of one’s own.

Within the chest exists no stone.
Through the veins warm blood does creep.
At times one forgets others have bone.

Inside the core, rhythm is known,
The constant thump, a one-two beat.
Life exists outside of one’s own.

Black circles swell when no light is shone
And streams from corners do sometime seep.
At times one forgets others have bone.

Each throat has breath with which it moans
And untold thought the tongue will keep.
Life exists outside of one’s own.

From a slight form this being hath grown
With time a figure complete.
At times one forgets others have bone
And life exists outside of one’s own.

Answer 1

I never was super good at this because I think each poem has a different meaning for each reader and trying to make everyone see the same thing you see in a poem is not that easy. What I hear is that sometimes people get so wrapped up in themselves that they forget that life exists outside their own personal universe. That there are people living, struggling, loving, and dieing just like everyone else. I don't know if I got from it what you wanted me too, but I think it's a great poem.

Answer 2

this is certainly far above the usual level of the stuff that gets posted here.

part of this is derived from the kind of seriousness that chooses to work in a strictform. free verse is not inherently inferior to regular strophes (such as your villanelle here), but free verse is easier to write badly. most serious poets when they are first starting out will tend to use strictform more than rank amateurs: someone with a genuine interest in language values finding out the different ways it can work. your villanelle has served you well here in keeping you closefocused on your base theme. a less serious tyro would have tried to do this in free verse, and likeliest unraveled into vapidity.

the theme seems to be the paradox that it is only in sensing our own isolation that we can properly appreciate the isolation of others. when the police covered this ('message in a bottle') they chose the castaway's message as their structuring metaphor, you choose the bone covering of the cranium: both metaphors offer opportunities and traps.

you open very well. the notion of bone as something one can forget (and for that matter of bone as a limit to the self) is both striking and rich. your first triplet comes very close to excellence by any standard: it moves from self-perception (l.1) to a (partly desparing) determination that there shall be others (l.3) rapidly and inevitably.

such a strong start does a lot of the work of a poem. some problems creep in later as you begin to lose your grip of natural english usage ('warm blood does creep' isn't something a person would normally say) but the idea structure stays firm, and even progresses a little (it was clever to get brain, heart and lungs - the three primary seats of self - all in so short a poem). the main thing - the meaning - stays on-track, but the language gets a shade ragged.

assuming that you are young (under thirty) i'd say this poem shows a great deal of promise, and you should keep at it. you have the basics here. your technique is downright clumsy a lot of the time, but that sort of thing can be mastered with simple practice.

i'd advise you to look at some masters of strictform (berryman and larkin among modern poets, ben jonson and robert herrick among all-time greats), and probably post a few of your poems on boards with more conscious critics and better feedback opportunities.

but most of all i'd advise you to continue writing. this was pretty good, but with a few years' practice you will find you get enormously better.

Answer 3

No clue, but I like it!