Please help? I do not understand!?

Question

Ok so here's the story and question....

I was with my girlfriend almost 5 years....we loved each other very much....we did have some fights and arguments.
I wasn't perfect, I did say mean things sometimes or do things but I have OCD and Borderline Personality Disorder.
Not all of it, but most of it was caused by my problems, I have been getting help and working on myself for the last
year and a half and been getting better. I regularly go to my therapist and psychiatrist and take my meds as prescribed.
I have gotten better. She left me 3 months ago because she said she didn't like the way I treated her. She is the type
that wants a "fairytale" relationship. Everyone has told her including her parents that she won't get that with anyone.
She also expects no fights or arguments. Well anyways she told me for the first two months after she left...that she
still wanted to be with me, she loves me, misses me, wants to know I'm serious about us, etc. Then two weeks after
that go by and she doesn't say much to me....well I texted her a lot but it was because when I tried to give her space
before by not texting as much, she would text me and say why are you ignoring me or I don't think you're serious about
this...and then when I did she didn't want me to text or wouldn't text me back most of the time.

So after those two weeks,
all of a sudden one night when I was texting, she sends me pictures of her and this girl kissing and laying next to each
other in bed. I was baffled and shocked....she said that is her new girlfriend and that she is happy. Well we went through
her getting the rest of her stuff. Then when I texted her after that she was saying all this nasty stuff to me (laughing at me,
saying mean and hurtful things, letting her friends and gf laugh at me, etc.) She met this girl through the internet on her
cell phone through this text messaging service, texted her (not knowing her at all before) for two months and then met
her in person finally for the first time 3 wks-1 month ago. So within 3 weeks of her still saying the stuff she did with me,
about loving me, wanting to know I'm for real, worried if I wanted it over.....she then said after those 3 weeks that she has
moved on, that she is happy, and she loves this girl.

After almost 5 years....she tells me this sh** and then moves on
in 3 weeks??? Do you think this is for real??? What do you think??? Please interpret it for me. So then I was texting her
to get clear answers and how sick is it that her new girlfriend is so timid that she let me ex control her and have her text
me to answer for her, which weren't answers to what I asked. So then my ex also sent pictures of this ring that her gf
supposedly got her (which come to find out, my ex paid for herself, lol) and tells me they are getting married soon. So
she got mad finally because I kept texting her (which I know is wrong but I wanted answers) and finally got so pis*** that
she didn't even want to be my friend. Which I don't understand why she would have wanted to when the break up wasn't
mutual and she knows I still wanted to be with her and loved her.

My ex does have Bipolar and she is exhibiting signs
of a "manic" episode. She has been drinking a lot, hanging out with the wrong kind of people, not paying bills and spending money like wildfire (which is something she complained about me is paying the bills late), doing things on a whim
out of the ordinary (she bought plane tickets to go to NM just because she talked to someone and they reminded her
how much she liked it there) and then she said she has to postpone it now and that she also said she wanted to move
there in a letter she wrote me a week before she met her new gf, which the letter also said, I am having an affair with
NM, so to answer your question I am seeing NM, then a week later that??? Sorry this is long but I wanted to explain
the whole situation and ask that you please give me some kind of insight or help. Could this be her Bipolar, has she
flipped or is she just selfish??? Thank you for your answers/help. (Yes, we are both girls)

Oh yeah and I was also nice enough to do whatever my ex asked even after she left, including sending a medicine I take, which is a same one she was taking for her Bipolar and sending it to her and me going without. And that is how I get repayed. She has now stopped taking her meds, and has not gotten any help for herself.

Why I am asking and trying to understand is cuz it's killing me inside and I am confused. I still love her with all my heart and don't know what to think or do.

Answer 1

Work on yourself - become a better person and understand that by doing this, you will find others who will love you as you are, if she is not wanting to get help, then that is her problem. Continue your therapy, talk to others about your problems, write down all of your accomplishments.........

Answer 2

Listen honey, I watched my son go through a similar relationship a while back (minus the other girl-instead it was a guy) Otherwise the stories sound almost the same. His girlfriend had to take meds for being bipolar and she just stopped taking them and flipped out. She did the same thing with the texting and crap. Please just walk away! Don't answer her text messages and don't call. Go out with friends or family, whatever it takes to keep yourself busy. IF she really loves you, she will return to you one day, but in the meantime, you can not quit living. My son finally figured this out and it hurt him like hell, but his girl finally got herself together and they've been together for about 11/2 yrs now and everything seems to be o.k. Quit letting her abuse you! Show her that you will not put up with it! Good luck honey and I hope this helps you.

Answer 3

This was a long question and if you read it carefully, you will see that you answered your own question. Get yourself straightened out then try to find someone who can accept you as you are. It often happens that when people form relationships in their neediness, that when they become less needy, their relationships fall apart because they were founded on shifting sands. True relationships can weather changes. I know it is hard to manage certain realities. You develop expectations and your own fantasies after five years. But fantasies are not reality. It may take you some time to get over it, but right now you should concentrate on healing yourself. Good luck!

Answer 4

I think you are better off without her. You need to spend your energy and your money on your own medical issues and let her take care of her own. Two people with Bipolar and OCD is not a good combination. Please try to move one. Quit texting her or taking her messages - they are only driving you crazy. I wish you lots of luck and I encourage you to continue seeing your therapist and taking your meds. You need help getting past this difficult time in your life.