Okay, I don't want judging answers here. Please bare with me.
I'm not in a relationship, because I'm very afraid where things will go. I'm very afraid to get into a relationship, one, because I might hurt, but it's not the main factor. I'm afraid of HURTING my partner. My mother was and is extremely manipulative and passive aggressive, and I am quite sure I am out of the habit of being an emotional abuser and a manipulator. But I am afraid I will relapse, and that is why I try to keep guys an arms length from me. I have done things like invited two guys who both liked me and hated each other over at the same time and flirted with both just to see what would happen, out of, I don't know how to describe it, absolute wrath. I've cheated, and manipulated to get my way.
That's in the past now, but I am absolutely afraid I will do it again.
Please help, and please no judgemental answers.
2007-11-12 00:24:09 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It has nothing to do with attention, it just feels like I am very angry, I know I'm passive aggressive.
And I only do it to guys, I don't do it to my girlfriends, I don't know why.
2007-11-12 00:42:44 · update #1
Trying not to judge....
Well, make it your stark life rule never to do those things again. Then don't.
Think how you would feel if it were you.
Think how you would feel if your children grew a bit and did it to you.
Think of the worst possible thing to happen if you continue doing this.
Think of God.
2007-11-12 00:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by dumbuglyweirdo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am not sure what you are asking. I guess everyone has assumed that everyone seeks to be in a loving relationship with someone else. I think that is pigeon-holing everyone.
If you do seek to have a rewarding relationship, you should seek counseling to find out why you feel the need to punish yourself. You think you are punishing others, but they live and move on. You are really punishing yourself. You need to accept and love yourself before you can love and respect others. Whether you seek a relationship or not, you still have to live with yourself. Good luck on this journey.
2007-11-12 00:47:23 · answer #2 · answered by cavassi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you like doing it because you are lacking something such as attention. It makes you feel important, wanted, and in control of others. Im sure eventually, you will find someone you will want to treat well, and will stop..that or eventually everyone will know how you are and will probably end up disliking you and you'll be lonely and wont have to worry about it. Then one day if you really fall in love..that person may treat you the same way..Treat others the way you would want them to treat you..plain and simple
2007-11-12 00:38:59 · answer #3 · answered by susie L 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that it is wonderful that you are self aware enough to realize that you do these things. That is the first step in correcting a problem. I think that you should allow yourself to love and be loved in order to further heal yourself. It would also be helpful to get into a relationship with someone with whom you feel close enough to eventually disclose these personality problems so that they can support you in your progress.
2007-11-12 00:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋