What can I tell relatives and nosy aquaintances when they ask, "How many children do you want?" and I say, "None, he's getting fixed as a wedding gift!" to lighten the mood again? I mean, I'm pretty sure that him getting a vasectomy for me is the sweetest thing he could do, but these people are breeders who think that everyone who can should have children, help!
2007-11-10 19:09:56 · 14 answers · asked by some female 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My girlfriend and I are effectively common law, by 5 years.
We get asked, "Where are your children?". We say we don't have them. They say, "You are young, and they will come". I often end up explaining to them that I am older than they are.
You and your hubby will not appear to age fast like everyone else, whom has kids. Expect everyone to think you are in your 20's when you reach 35. You will be bothered about this for the next 30 years. Just ignore them.
BTW: Last year, at this time, my girlfriend had a hysterectomy. She brings that up when people nag.
2007-11-13 22:21:59 · answer #1 · answered by Marvin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am married with no plans to have kids...I used to be nice about this intrusive question, but some will not let it go. My response to those that are pushy now is "Just because you can, doesn't always mean you should" or "Are you planning on setting up the college fund for Junior, since my husband and I will be hitting retirement about the time he would graduate from high school?" This usually shuts them up. I have found that many of my friends (who all love their kids), find themselves wishing they had put a little more thought into what raising a child involves...especially those who are now single moms. Best wishes to you!
2007-11-11 08:35:59 · answer #2 · answered by Really now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight you don't want kids are you sure the man you want to marry don't want kids this should be discussed between you and him before you get married. Don't assume that because he loves you he will be willing to have a vasectomy for you, because his family as you say are breeders, People have children because they want to have children to love and to Cherish and children are gift from god.
so everyone who can have children should have children no because everyone is not cut out Tobe parents.
best of luck
2007-11-11 14:15:37 · answer #3 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just push it off and say "we are going wait" and what not...most people wont care after a while... as you get older they'll see that you dont want to have children and it will pass. It also depends how young or old you are now, ...early 20's most ppl are going to expect u to reproduce..30's and just getting married... maybe it will maybe it wont..basically its you and your husbands business and no one else's. Have 12 cats and 4 dogs a parakeet who gives a rats *** but you.
2007-11-11 03:23:31 · answer #4 · answered by deftonyc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Preaching to the choir over here!
When someone invades your privacy like that just tell them that you and your husband have chosen to be child free. Then change the subject. There is no reason to have a conversation about this because it isn't open to debate.
Follow link to talk to other people who think like you.
http://forums.bellaonline.com/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=178&page=1
2007-11-11 03:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave the vasectomy part out of it. It's really no one's business and it is kind of "too much info".
Just leave it at "None". If they press further, simply say "We've decided we do not want children" firmly and look them in the eye & they should shut up & leave you alone.
2007-11-11 03:15:56 · answer #6 · answered by RazzleDazzle1980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you respond just like you said...we BOTH choose not to have any children. end story. if they persist as to why ...just ignore the question completely. when 2 people get married ..and its a mutual decision NOT to have kids...it will take both of you responding, so they dont say its you or him...but honestly ..dont worry about.
just remind them that this will give uncle and auntie lotsa time to spoil neices and nephews lol
good luck
2007-11-11 03:17:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man are you going to be hard to live with. What happens if you get divorced one day? You would take away his ability to have children just because you don't want any? That is the most selfish thing I have ever heard of and I am sitting here silently thanking God that I don't know any women like you. You probably haven't even asked him if he wanted children and make sure you come back a year from now and tell all of us when he is saying your the biggest mistake he's ever made.
2007-11-11 03:29:09 · answer #8 · answered by Angela E 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Simple. "We don't feel the need bring an unwanted child into the world". It is YOUR lives and YOUR decision whether to parent or not. Tell those people who think YOU should have children to have and raise them for you if it is so important to them.
2007-11-11 05:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth in a serious way so they understand you are not joking. If they think you are kidding, they may think you are just unsure and they might continue to pressure you. If they continue to be rude and pressure you about kids, then I would tell them the decision is not open for public discussion and walk away. :-)
2007-11-11 03:19:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋