When you hear someone described as "submissive"...?

Question

Does the sex of the person influence your interpretation?

For example, do you associate "submissive woman" with a woman who interprets the Bible as requiring her to always obey her husband?
Or interpret "submissive man" as having an... interest in, e.g. hand-cuffs and black latex?

If so, why?

Answer 1

To me it simply means someone who submits to the will of others.

That may mean sexually, politically, socially or economically, and it may mean a man or a woman.

For me there are some connotations of 'submissive' as a type of person ~ for example, I would probably think that someone who was 'submissive' to their spouse might be unwilling to share the responsibility of a relationship.

That wouldn't be a person who would interest me, as a partner or friend (I expect people to share the load)!

But each to their own ~ whether it's getting out of bed at 2 am to make bacon and eggs for hubby and his drinking buddies, or getting your nipples twisted by Mistress Elvira.

Cheers :-)

Answer 2

There is a huge difference between submission in life, and submission in the bedroom. And yes, before someone points it out...I do realize that even when it's a "sex game" not everyone keeps it in the bedroom...not my point.

A submissive person in general life, brings to mind a person who is incapable or unwilling to make their own decisions. They need another person who is willing to take on that responsibility for them. Submission is the same thing as blind obedience (for me) to a significant other. There is either an unwillingness or an inability to stand up for one's thoughts, feelings, or choices and this creates an unhealthy situation where a spouse is no better than a small child.

In the situation of sex, the submissive is the person who is actually in control. The dominate controls the actions, creates the scenarios, and enacts the bonds but submissives have safe words and the dominate is unable to go any further than the submissive is willing to allow them to go. This means that any and all power of the dominate is an illusion...and that's okay because both parties are completely aware of this fact.

Answer 3

When I hear submissive I think of culture, unresolved parental issues or sexual role playing.

For men, I think of a guy who is soft with a woman who runs him all over....I associate these people with needing a mother instead of a partner.

For women, I think she's culturally conditioned to behave submissively. It would be either a woman who is passive aggressive and has a lot of "little girl" expectations (big wedding etc), is needy etc...Or she has little self esteem and doesn't speak up because she's afraid or doesn't think she has much value to add. Not always, but sometimes associated with being abused also.

This is not to be confused with "catering" to someone. I have gladly catered numerous times to someone's needs, wants and requests to make them happy and meet their needs...but submission is an entirely different story to me.

EDIT: ET, have you read The Story of O?

Answer 4

Personally, and to simplify it, I don't associate submission with anything remotely negative, as it is a choice one makes to willingly yeild to another person, if he/she is content under those circumstances, so be it.
I don't necessarily relate submission with 'oppression', which is not by choice.

Also, a woman can be a sub in BDSM, consenting to be controlled by her dom, as well as, the man who chooses to be submissive and have his dom.

Edit: Lioness, interesting insight. :-)

Answer 5

When I think of someone who is submissive I think of someone who is timid- afraid to stand up for themselves...perhaps someone who would rather avoid conflict in order to "keep the peace" or because they lack confidence in themselves. I think of someone who is fearful of living with the consequences of their actions...so they just go with the flow...wherever that takes them.

Could be male or female, young or old...doesn't matter.

EDIT: I am not saying that there aren't times when it is advantageous to be submissive. I know from my own experiences in life that there have been times when it really was in my own best interest to be submissive...but living that way for long periods of time is probably not healthy..esp. if you really do have conflict but cannot express it. Shivers: I'm sorry you're going through that right now. If you ever just want to talk, please email me.

Answer 6

No, I think of a submissive women as one who runs around the house with no knickers on ,waiting for hubby to get home

Answer 7

Tera, sometimes when people are afraid to stand up for themselves, it may be because that person gets yelled at.
Sometimes unfortunately it's best to keep your mouth shut for fear of what might happen. It's not what I'm advocating, but am dealing with right now.

Answer 8

When I hear or see the word *"submissive woman"*,I think about a weak woman who allow herself to be controlled by someone else.

My husband know I'm not the type.I respect him and he respect me.He voice his opinion and I voice mines.
I don't believe in that:"YES SIR,YES MASTER" junk.

What "some men" fall to realize,it that THEY SHOULD HONORED THEIR WIFE.
It's not right to treat a woman like a slave.

Answer 9

Ithink of someone in a very controlling relationship with not enough spine to get out

Answer 10

You people are really funny. Oh dear me what is this world of ours coming to? Please somebody land the plane so I can get off. I beg you!!!! Please!!!!! Oh dear, let the clueless guide the clueless. Obedient women obey their husbands; submissive women are something else entirely; accepting to be treated in any way possible just to please their man. SOMEBODY PLEASE LAND THIS PLANE!!!!! Oh dear me!!!! Help I need oxygen!!!! oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh boy!!!!! Besides a bit of conflict is good for the soul keeps the fires burning; lots of make up sex is great you know.