How honest would you be if someone you loved couldn't follow through something that was very important to you?

Question

Through no fault of thiers? It was just beyond thier control. But should you be honest with them about how much it is hurting you even if it isn't their fault? Especially if it is something that will be on going? Maybe for the rest of your lives? How honest should you be?

Answer 1

Before I get into this, MORGANA!!! Edit the last sentence in your post. LOL SOME folks DO read everything before they make their own posts. *winks*

Ms Crone, I don't know the circumstances, BUT, to NOT tell someone what's in your heart and mind is denying THEM the right and ability to at least BE there to support and love you. In ALL relationships one ALWAYS needs to be open, honest and truthful (and NOT telling someone is a lie of ommission). If what you're feeling will have an effect for the long haul then that person HAS the right to know if there's something wrong in them. Of course, doing that places the responsibility for HOW they respond to the truth, is entirely theirs from that point on. At least GIVE the person the CHANCE to respond in an open, honest and honorable way to ALL the facts rather than trying to go without having ALL the information.

BB,
Raji the Green Witch

Answer 2

Going out on a limb and guessing could be wrong, has a DR. been consulted about this. Not whatever is causing it because it sounds like the cause is known but have all the possible solutions been explored. it would be good to use caution here if this is making sense. If this is a spouse and there are options not tried, share your interest in looking into options, let them know it is important to you.

Answer 3

PC, you know you need to be honest with him. You guys have been married for 30 years? He has the right to know how you feel, and he probably already does know, if he knows you at all.

If you lie, it only makes it worse when the truth comes out.

If this is going to be an ongoing situation, perhaps you and he need to talk it out, how you feel, whether change is possible, etc. But be honest. Gentle, non-accusatory, but honest.

Let me know how it goes, this sound like a hard on to negotiate.

Blessings,
Lady M )0(

Answer 4

If something is hurting you physically and/or mentally you should be able to tell someone. If they really love and care about you, even if they have no power of stopping the problem they should at least be able to give you the love and support that you need. If you never tell them, your not giving them the chance to stand up and help you the way a person who cares would.
Give them the chance.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

depends on the situation their is a difference between honest and mean, I have a disabled father it hurt me growing up having to care for him I NEVER voiced it he doesn't need the stress of knowing that it hurt me to have to and to watch him suffer, I still often send my money to my parents when I can and I help him anytime possible but it is painful to watch him suffer. If you are honest be gentle with what you say kindness is the only way to go.

Answer 6

I'd have to know what this "thing" is to honestly gage it.. if its not their "fault" as you say then whats the point of making them feel bad for it?? if it wont accomplish anything or there is no way to make the situation better don't hurt the poor person by rubbing it in their face more then they probably already are doing to themselves. but next time give me more information plz.

Answer 7

Very honest but not critical if it was through no fault of their own.

Answer 8

If it's beyond their control then I would not be vocal about it. If I am asked then I will tell them honestly, but until asked I would not say anything.

Answer 9

You need to work on an alternative remedy for this matter together, if it is beyond his control.