I am mad at my husband because he danced with another women and still won't dance with me!?

Question

We have been together for 3 years. For 3 years I've been trying to get him to dance with me & he won't. I've even suggested we take private classes.

Dancing is something that I love more then most things in life. I used to go out dancing 2-3 times a week. But I haven't been dancing in 3 years out of respect for my husband. I feel that it would be inappropriate for me to dance with another guy.

Well he travels for work & this morning he called me at 5am telling me about his fun night. He hung out with 3 football players & he danced with a bachelorett. YES DANCED.

When I heard this I was heart broken. For 3 years I've missed out on dancing because he wont learn & he just went out & danced with a stranger!?!?

- So tonight I asked him if now that he could dance, would he dance with me. And he said NO. He said maybe once but basically no. He said they didn't do "real" dancing so he still didn't know how & he still didn't want to learn.

Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be mad?

BTW, he DID enjoy it. He said he had more fun than he has ever had that night.

Answer 1

Maybe he felt more at ease dancing with someone he didn't know and didn't have to impress.

Ask your husband why he danced with the woman.....then stop asking him.

When I went out from now on I would dance with guys you both know......as long as it's respectful.

He can't have it both ways.

Answer 2

wow. You must be feeling so hurt by this. I would be and yes you have every right to be mad. What the hell was he thinking? It doesn't even matter if you have been able to dance with him or not. he shouldn't of been dancing or doing anything with another woman. He's your husband!! In my book thats cheating. A bachelorette? Oh god your head must've be spinning.... but rest assured he was probably just showing off in front of the guys. I can't believe he told you? Again what was he thinking? you would be okay with it? um no woman would be.Thats a good thing I guess cause he could've lied and said nothing but still. Don't let him switch this on you and make you feel like your in the wrong in any way. Guys tend to do that when they know they screwed up. You have every right to feel hurt and pissed off about this

Answer 3

You are very much over reacting. He doesn't know how to dance...he doesn't feel comfortable doing it...it was a fluke, the exciting part was the football players....but you zeroed in on the dancing....he doesn't want to look like a fool in front of you, even though he doesn't understand that how well he dances is NOT the issue....Ask when he's 70, how important is this really going to be.....if you don't love him enough to look past this and dancing was a big deciding factor, you should not have chosen him....The point I'm trying to make is that it's really so small....in marriage you need to pick your battles...tell him you were hurt that he danced with someone...how would he feel if you danced with someone....and let it go.....

Answer 4

You do have a right to be mad, but don't be. Don't get even. Don't hold a grudge. Don't feel belittled. AND don't listen to these kids unless you have a complexion problem. Your husband is intimidated by your dancing ability and his lack of ability. He could dance with the stranger because she is a stranger and he doesn't have to worry about what she thinks. It is good that he had fun and that he chose to share his good feelings with you. Yes, I know it probably hurt you to hear it, but he did tell you. He didn't try to hide it because to him, there was nothing to hide. He was probably proud of himself for having the nerve to dance at all. Set the mood at home and have a very slow dance with him. Let him lead. Don't make any moves that he can't make. After he dances with you, reward him. You know what he likes.

Answer 5

Wow this is like the most complex question I have faced so far! You should sit down, and tell him how you feel. You should tell him how brokenhearted you were. I don't think you're over reacting. I think it's very mormal. I would feel the the same way as you. If you want to dance with him so much, turn on the music at home, and ask him to dance. Tell him that you don't care weather he knows how to dance of not.
Good Luck!
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Answer 6

I Think You Shoudl Definately Have The Righ To Be Mad At Him! He Should Definately Dance With You And Im Sure A Lot OF PEple Agree With Me. Aftyer You Get Lots Of Responses Show Your Husband ^_^

Answer 7

Maybe it would lower his ego if you danced better than he did, or maybe he's scared he'll look like a fool out on the dance floor. I do not think you are overreacting and I think that you do have a right to be mad. He needs to understand how you feel and know where you are coming from. I would try communicating with him and telling him how important it is to you. Best of luck!

Answer 8

Well I obviously don't know all the details, but from what I can tell, you should me mad at him. He shouldn't be dancing with other single women, especially without you there. It doesn't even matter that he won't dance with you, although that makes it worse, he just shouldn't do it in the first place.
I'm sorry for your problem, and I hope you two can work it out.

Answer 9

I would be just as annoyed, hurt, and pissed off as you sound right now. Do you feel like you can go dancing by yourself and or with a group of friends without him? Maybe start taking dancing classes by yourself, I use to, and sure sometimes there are couples that come in together, but often there are single or married people by themselves too. Enjoy what makes you happy. Do what makes you happy. If he begins to see how your doing things without him, and how your doing fine with out his company, he may (hopefully) want to take part in it.Live Girl!

Answer 10

Girl you gotta get your life together and go out and dance, screw him if he thinks he has all the rights to disrespect you by dancing with someone else but not you. Is ok for husbands and wives to dance with other people, but if he does not dance with you but does with someone else he need a kick in the you know what... He is simply an idiot I hope it does not disrespect you by me saying so. Take some lesson without him and go out with your girl friends, dance with other men as long as it does not lead to something else since you are married after all, but go out and have fun.

Answer 11

To a certain extent you have a very valid reason for being angry but maybe you make him feel inadeqate. Maybe you are to good a dancer and he sucks. I think you should try just playing around with him. Dance with him when he holds you or dance for him. It sounds like he is uncomfortable about dancing and maybe you should not make it such an important thing.... after you get him back for dancing with another woman first, that is.........