Do U ever have2deal w/your husband's friends GF/wife who doesn't respectUand Ur hubby as a couple?

Question

I do, and honestly don't know how to deal w/it, so I choose not to even go socialize w/them at all.{maybe like 3 x per yr.}

Well the thing is, my husband and his friend have a common hobby--working on cars. His friends longtime gf, always acting pissy at me if "I didn't hang out w/her".But since I work some opposite shifts as my husband, and don't really have common interests w/this woman, it suits me much better to stay away from her.Plus she's ALWAYS interrupting me in conversation, sometimes gives me dirty looks because my husband and I have a close relationship and she told me that she was jealous of me because of my low weight and talents (it's just REAL stupid man!! stupid and idiotic--like high school she behaving, and she's 33!!)anyway, she acts like she doesn't have respect for the fact that my husband and I are a couple,overstepping her bounderies. Not so much flirting usually,--it's very difficult to explain really.I guess what I'm trying to say is she acts like her bf an

It's really weird like she's in complete denial that my husband has a wife he's pretty close to actually.
Yet she often acts like herself and her bf are more important to my husband

Even after yrs. she REALLY tries to manipulate me into 'feeling obligated' to spend time w/her just because my husband and her bf are friends.
I'm nice to her, but honestly could never be a close friend to her because she gets on my nerves so much and seems to be 2 faced. Oblivious to the fact that she has a pretty big mouth actually. I tend to stay clear of those type of ppl and anyway during my free time will always spend w/my husband, or a relative or one of my close friends
how should I deal w/her?
She ain't normal man

Answer 1

Hi FancyPancy, My name is Tonia, I am new to yahoo!Answers. So far I have been lucky with the answers I have received. So I try to give, good, comprehensive answers to others too.

I have been in a similar situation before. And you are so right it isn't easy.
If I only knew THEN what I know NOW. My life would have been so much easier, less stress and OMG, THE DRAMA! Sound familiar to you?
For starters, what does your husband say about this situation that you are so bothered by? As a family, I think that you should always make each other (and children if you have any) FIRST PRIORITY, no matter what.
That said this is my advice: It sounds very immature like you said. No rule says that we have to be the friends of our spouses significant-others. So if she isn't getting the hint by you making other plans that don't include her you may just have to talk to your husband or someone else that you are close too that has a good head on their shoulders and come up with a way to approach her to have a 'heart2heart' and let her know that your interests are very different then hers.
If she is over-stepping boundaries with your man (i also know what you mean by 'not flirting exactly') and he isn't saying anything then maybe there isn't really anything to worry about. On th eother hand iof he is noticing but ignoring it, then he is 't taking your feelings into consideration.
What I would like to see if it were me in the spot w/my hubby is for him to talk to his friend and tell him that his girl is making his wife uncomfortable. And ask him to talk to her.
Everyone has different "Comfort Zones", the ones who don't mid getting into your space, usually are very manipulative, like you said she is. When manipulating people are not successful in getting what they are after, they can turn around on the people who reject them and are not lured in my their "charms". So I would say that the dirty looks are just that.
She is obviously a woman with low self esteem, and hardly any confidence in her self or her own relationship.
You see ppl only do and say things that they 'know' or are taught. So what she is actually showing you is how she feels about herself. She wasn't joking when she said that she is "J" of your weight & talents.
Too bad there wasn't a way for you too put up with her to see if some of your self-confidence would rub off!!
This is what I see when I think of her from your description: A pretty woman who thinks that others are always comparing her short-comings to their high-lights, and in HER EYES, she falls short.
I'll bet that her & her man are not close. She maybe a very passionate person who likes a lot of talk and contact with her guy as well as physical. When she sees your husband touching you, and looking at you (and not her) she just wants what YOU HAVE. It doesn't' sound like she wants your man, it sounds like she wants to be YOU.

If this is going to come between your husbands relationship with a good friend, I would at lest TRY to spend a little time getting to know her, and seeing if there is ANYTHING that the two of you can do {once & a while} and I'll bet that will just tickle her.
Since she is a loud person who craves the spot light, maybe invite her along with one of your friends, and take her out, maybe a karaoke bar or something! (LOL, cheesy I know) Or bowling, some place where there are a lot of ppl who she can talk to besides you. And where she can show-off w/ out getting into your space. In other words take her where there will be an audience!!

Remember we all have faults. When we say or do things to others, all we are really doing is projecting our feelings about OURSELVES to the world.
If you can remember that, then it will be easier to NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY when she starts in! Just say to yourself, What she is doing/saying has nothing to do with me!!! It all about HER, and how bad she thinks of herself. (well maybe 'bad' about herself isn't the word i wanted but i am tired)
But it is, TRULY her projection of herself. (we all do it)
and simply do your best. If you have done your best to get to know her, and to put up with her then you have nothing to feel guilty about. When we KNOW we have done our best at something we don't have to feel guilty, shame or self doubt.
So you GO GIRL and when you swing into action, you will know that she is watching!!

I know that sounds mean but oh well, we have to get some pleasure out of dealing with our enemy's ! LMAO!!
{{{HUGGZ}}}

Answer 2

Explanation If I Had A Wife If I Am A Terrorist I Will Find Them And Kill Them .. If I Am Fundamentalist In Any Religion I Will Find Them And Kill The Guy And Beat MY Wife To Death . If I Am Kind Person I Will Let Her Go And I Will Forgive Her No Matter What The Reason Is And I Will Start Moving Towards New Life .. Even Though If She Is Any Trouble In Future I Will Gladly Help Her .. If The Person Cheats On Me The Only Thing That I Have To Do Is To Be Clam Not To Be In Anger Or Rage And Able To Reason Myself I May Have Been Done Some Mistakes That May Have Been Result In This Kind Of Situation Normally The Fault Always Lies On Both Side . No One Is Perfect..

Answer 3

If it were me in your shoes, I would calmly and politely sit her down, with no interruptions, and tell her how you feel. If you don't feel comfortable having a civil confrontation, you could always write her a letter explaining how you feel and what the solutions needs to be from your stand point.
If you make yourself heard and she doesn't want to acknowledge there is a problem or if it continues, I would say there is no point in putting yourself in the situation that causes you stress or aggravation.
I would also suggest making your hubby aware, if he isn't already and see if he has any solutions for the situation.

Answer 4

Maybe try to plan ahead, so that when they are working on the car, and if you are not at work, you have someone to visit. Or go to your bedroom.Go to a movie with one of your friends. Put contact down to the minimum.

Answer 5

It sounds like you're doing just fine... considering
It's either put up with it or cause all hell to break loose...
I would try to respect your husbands wishes, but at the same time hold true to yourself and your values.

Good Luck Hon!

Answer 6

Keep in mind, an improper relationship between your husband and HER may develop in the future. It would be oh so convenient to "see his friend "when he actually is seeing her .

I have seen this happen!

Answer 7

I would not spend any more time around her than I absolutely had to. sounds like bad news and your instincts or intuition are probably right about her.

Answer 8

Keep doing what you are doing..put nothing in writing...it will come back and bite you...just do your thing while he is playing with his cars. PHil