Who's being insensitive me or him?

Question

Ok, my husband met me with two lil girls (ages 3&4), married me, moved me to his hometown where we are living together. Im 9 mo pregnant with our first. The problem is, he is always throwing in my face how he made a mistake marring me cause of the kids. He loves them & plays with them but he still has a problem accepting them. He hates everytime their dad calls to talk to them or when the girls leave to go visit with him and gives me a very hard time about it! He says he's not happy having to deal with this family crap and wont stay in a situation he's not happy in. He tells me he's still young, good looking, and would be more happy all alone doing his own thing. He says all he is going 2 care about is himself and baby in my stomach from now on. What do I do? Im so stressed. Do I cut the girls dad off from being able to see them to avoid arguments? I dont want to loose my husband. He agrees this is how he met me package and all but says he doesnt have to put up with it.

My husband is very jealous so yes that's a factor. I keep my talk with ex short and to the point!

Answer 1

hey ..cool down ..donn think much in this condition now ..u must take care of ur self ..dont take any harsh decision rite now..okz.just give him n urself bit time to settle n understand the situations ..when he will bcome father of his own child which u r going to deliver soon hopefully.. then i think he will understand ur n ur's ex feelings towards ur child..k ..just b relax ..donn avoide him he needs u..but i think he is tense. just bcoz he love ur childeren so much dat whenever they r going to meet there real father he feels jealouse n rejected..undertand him n shower more love on him ..take care of u n ur kids baby..
bye
good luck

Answer 2

You married an insensitive jerk. Do not cut out their father for your selfish husband. He loves them? He calls marrying you a mistake because of them and he does not accept them. Does not sound like love honey. If I were you I would show him the door. All he is going to care about is himself and the baby? How can you even ask? Don't your girls deserve better than that? He knew of them when you got together and he should love them like his own. They know when there is tension and they hear more than you believe that they do. I had a two year old when I married my husband and you cannot tell that he is not his. He loves them and treats them all the same. That is the way that it should be. The kids should not be punished because their parents could not make it work. Don't you dare let this behavior continue or let him treat them differently when the baby is born. They will eventually resent you for it. They also will learn to dislike the baby. It is not fair for them to be put through this. It is your responsibility to make sure those girls are in a healthy stable environment. I don't think that this is. Put them first above all else and you will know what you have to do. I hope that you do what is right.

Answer 3

This is so common; the only uncommon thing about this is that he told you. You say you don't want to loose your husband, but it sounds like he has already made that decision. You just can't delete your children's father out of there lives, that's crazy! He either wants out of the relationship, or now that your pregnant he doesn't feel he could handle the responsibility or both.
Do you and the kids father have set days and time that they see him? If not you should. Bottom Line, you can't make anybody do anything. If he wants to go....we will and you can't stop him! Girl stop stressing out, take care of your belly, don't upset the baby! Think about him later.

Answer 4

ur husband is insensitive & immature. He agreed that he met u with the whole package therefore he should have decided from there & stick with it...otherwise he really should have stayed alone by himself & don't deserve you & your kids. Do not cut off ties with your former kids dad-they need him. In this case, you dont want to lose ur present husband either. Then it means you put up with the arguments until he comes around and realize that he ought to grow up and start acting like a man & a dad.

Answer 5

Absolutely HIM!!! There is no way you should cut the girls' dad out just to save arguments! Who would that hurt the most? Your girls! It's not their fault you married him, they shouldn't have to pay by not being able to see their dad. I would NEVER be with a man who wasn't accepting of my kids. And for him to say he is only going to care about himself and the new baby---that right there says alot. How do you think he is going to treat your girls when the new baby gets here. They are going to be pushed aside. You don't want to lose your husband? Well I think you should start thinking about what is good for your girls and a little less about what you want.

Answer 6

This sound like a marriage made in hell. I think he's a bit to selfish to let this relationship continue. Do you realize this man is telling you he doesn't care about you or your children (which should mean the world!)? A word to the wise is sufficient: Tell that big baby to leave and to not come back! You're correct he knew what he was getting into before he married you. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 7

i cant believe that you would even ask if you should stop the kids daddy from seeing them to keep this incensitive jerk, who apparently has no love for you,, your kids or the baby you 2 conceived.

the minute the words, " i made a mistake in marrying you and i dont have to put up with this" came out of his mouth, i would have said "dont let the door hit your *** on the way out!!!"

i mean omg, how would you feel ..if the kids natural daddy had custody of them, and his new wife said...i dont want the kids going to their moms house i cant deal with it?

i would kick him outta of the house asap, file for divorce and get child support going immediately on the unborn...im sure your getting child support already for the other 2. dont know what state your living in , but in some you can get alimony too, so you could provide a roof and such for you and your kids.

good luck

Answer 8

very sorry to hear your husband is stressing you out.

he has a serious case of jealousy.

he does not like your ex talking to you.

he does not like the ex talking to the girls who he is beginning to love and accept as his daughters.

when your ex calls and he knows it, his temperature goes up by several degrees. he sees you in bed with him. he wishes your ex could be sent to mars or deep in the mantle of the sun.

he does not have a problem with you. its your ex.

its the same as if there are two males in a cage with a female. sooner or later all h*ll is going to break lose.

i don't know how you handle a jealous man under these circumstances.

you also don't want your daughters to cut off their dad.

is there any chance you can drop them off at your mother and have the ex call there and pick them up at moms?

i really don't know the answer.

i hope you find a good solution.

Answer 9

I thought most guys that married a ready made family were pretty mature. Guess I was wrong.. Tell your hubby to grow up. The kids need their bio dad and if your husband is smart, which I'm beginning to doubt, he could play a pretty big part in the kids lives too. Good luck......with him.

Answer 10

based on what you said,
the guy could be feeling jealous of your ex...depending on the relaionship you have with your ex....
(if it is at all possible try getting them to become friendly with eachother)
the guy could be looking for a way out of your relationship too.
it sounds like you are now insecure, and for your best interest move take your beautiful babies and get away from him. for a while until after your baby is born.
children don't deserve to be treated like crap from anyone.
your husband is not showing love to you, or the children.
and absolutely do not cut the girls off from their dad.
get away fast.....
children need stablity ,
and pick your next husband better. or better yet stay single.

Answer 11

He replaced into being slightly tactless interior the assessment. it relatively is in all probability to be yet another a form of errors it relatively is attributed to him - Nazi costumes, nude photos in Vegas, and now video games in Afghanistan. the factor is, in spite of the undeniable fact that, killing human beings interior the line of duty is his activity, so human beings relatively should not be all that shocked that he's achieved it. the way that he describes it relatively is form of tactless and insensitive, yet on the comparable time i will see how killing human beings from a helicopter could in itself be slightly desensitized and prefer enjoying video games; he's no longer down there, he's no longer seeing the faces of the persons he's killing.