me and my husband are haveing
marriage proublums
he chooses not to talk about it
and ignors it
how can i get him to open up
hes a really quiet person and shy
? thanks
2007-11-10 16:37:05 · 11 answers · asked by cher 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont be shy about your feeling with him! Tell him how much this hurts and bothers you. Insist on communication or tell him that things will have to change. If you both don't nip this in the bud, you're looking either at a miserable marriage or separation. He shouldn't be shy around his wife. You should be his best friend and partner. He needs to learn to open up.
2007-11-11 01:40:08 · answer #1 · answered by Jonesy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't believe that he's ignoring the fact that you have marriage problems cause he's not. Men go into their caves when they have problems and they try and sort things out on their own unlike women who need to talk it out to fix them. Just give him a little room and try your best not to keep bringing it up. Get creative to open the channels back to communication. Focus on the solution not the problem in other words. If he's watching T.v. and seems a little zoned out just sit next to him and watch it with him without any words, or cuddle with him. Once he feels ready to discuss some of his issues let him talk without you getting so upset and see if he has a point to anything he says and remind yourself while he's speaking that you love him and ask yourself if fighting over this is truly worth ending your marriage.
2007-11-10 16:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by just bored 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Use psychology on this situation.
Surround him with things that make comfortable, smoking, coffee...outdoors, the bedroom. Anything, or any place you know that he is comfortable just being himself. The bathroom doesnt count!
When you have figured out the first portion, people are more inclined to talk and be open when you are shoulder to shoulder. Standing, sitting, walking or running. It doesnt matter. Make sure his right/left shoulders is opposite to your own while you are side to side. It's helped quite a bit with any serious questions that I've had to pluck out of people.
Hope this helps
2007-11-10 16:45:44 · answer #3 · answered by Maniacle 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Concentrate on making yourself happy. Ignore him. Do what you love doing. Give him some space. When he sees how well you’re doing without him, he’ll want to reconnect. It’s not easy to do, but focus on yourself. Go to the gym more. Show him that you’re capable of having a good life on your own. Show him that you are transparent with yourself and that you are not afraid to go it alone if you have to. Trust me, he’ll notice and he’ll want to get your attention and start talking again.
2007-11-10 16:52:26 · answer #4 · answered by humanpixel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tried for 21 years to get my husband to talk about our problems.
It's just who he is. We're in the middle of a divorce.
If your guy won't talk, you may not be able to make him.
Good Luck to you
2007-11-10 18:19:24 · answer #5 · answered by Tauri Athena 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't know how long you've been married...
Sounds like you're tip-toeing around a loaded gun...
Consult a family therapist 1st!!!!
2007-11-10 16:50:29 · answer #6 · answered by asgodintended 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you both need to see a minister who understands things like this really he as well you to will get more help from this not counceling from a stranger. my opion?
2007-11-10 16:57:31 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to see a marriage councilor with you or a minister.
2007-11-10 16:43:53 · answer #8 · answered by alaisjones 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to talk about it, so stop all your incessant chatter and badgering. Talking doesn't solve all your problems.
2007-11-10 16:51:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just trying to go along with him.
if more people would just let things go and get along. then more people will get along.
2007-11-10 16:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋