When is the best time to tell your spouse you're moving out?

Question

How do I tell him I've decided to move out again? We've been trying to work things out with a counselor for 3 months now and we're just cohabitating at this point. When is the best time to tell him I am moving out?

Okay, maybe I should have beenmore specific, I don't need smartass comments. I was looking for advice about whether or not it's best to say it after I Have the apartment arranged, or if it's better to let him know I'm int he process of looking and how that worked for other people. OBVIOUSLY we have issues and it's not working, too much to post in this little space, so comments from adults about being immature and needing to grow up are not needed. Take your own advice.

Answer 1

Depending on if you care what his reaction might be- If you dont care then just move and not say anything till you have gone. If you care then as soon as possible

Answer 2

It is impossible to give a good answer without having more information. Call the counselor and ask him/her. I was in your position before and looking back on it, I would have tried harder and longer than I did. The therapist we had was a dud. We should have found a different one, but it is hard to start over and tell all of that painful crap to yet another stranger. Something this big is worth the effort though. Therapy with a good therapist takes a VERY LONG TiME! 3 months is nothing. In order for there to be any progress at all, both people have to make a firm concrete decision to keep both feet in the marriage. You can't make a marriage better with one eye on the exit.
That being said, I found an apt. first and then told him. It was still a while before I moved out during which time it was awkward and very painful for both of us. There is no good time. It is going to stink like hell no matter what.

Answer 3

I guess it would depend on whether you would feel uncomfortable staying for a little while after you have told him. If you would, then I would make sure you have everything set and then tell him. This may be something you want to discuss in counseling so that you have a professional there to help diffuse the situation and help understand. Even when you do move out, continue to go to counseling together. Sometimes time apart from each other is necessary to see what you really have.

Answer 4

Your pathetic 3 months and how many months of damage prior to counselling?. You must be willing to put in the time to resolve issues in your marriage running ouit will never help anything. If anything what you are running from will just pop it's ugly head up again and again in every relationship to follow. Grow-up you are married it is not suppose to be easy most of the time it can be an uphill battle but that is why you have love and support of professionals and each other to overcome the crap.

God Bless and Best Wishes.
You married him for a reason think of the reason and then bring into the equation your love for him.

Answer 5

If there are no children involved, I think I would wait until I had everything arranged. I assume he realizes the counseling isn't working, so it really shouldn't be a big suprise. Maybe after everything is arranged, you can tell him while you are at the counselor's office.

Answer 6

I told my wife that I needed some time to think. I stayed in a SMALL extended stay hotel for a month. then moved on to an apartment. It is never easy. but sometimes you have to do it for both yourself and you spouse's mental health.

Answer 7

Tell him at 10:23am tomorrow morning. That is the best time.


If you don't want any stupid answers, then don't ask stupid questions. The point is that you've already given up and decided to run out on your responsibilities as a wife, so who cares when you tell him?!? Why not right now??? Are you afraid of his response? Afraid that you'll lose the security he offers you??? Grow up and take charge of your life.

Answer 8

I in basic terms did this. I informed him not something, I communicate with him the place my daughter is worried in basic terms. My very own existence is none of his organisation. Who I marry , as quickly as I marry then, the place none of it quite is his subject. His in basic terms subject is his infant. do not tell him something. i did not until he referred to as sooner or later and reported am i able to percentup Tee on Friday, I reported nicely for what, I kinda have plans. we will get married and he or she desires to be there. are you able to get her on the nineteenth as quickly as we come again. ok , TTYL. Bye. the tip. he isn't entitled to understanding approximately my plans. He lost those rights as quickly as we divorced. so which you do not could say a notice. yet once you opt to Then in basic terms come across a thank you to artwork it into yet another communication you adult adult males have approximately her. Oh you opt to percentup (____) nicely permit me see Getting married on the third you decide on her on the 9th yea that could desire to artwork See then you. you're annoying too plenty approximately not something. If he does nonetheless care then it quite is his subject not yours. He can develop right into a A s S while he needs supply up attempting to delight him I discovered that the annoying way. cope with him appropriate to hobbies of your daughter in basic terms. stable success and Congrats.

Answer 9

How in the world would we know? How about after breakfast - then you'll have all day to move, but you'll have a nourishing meal inside you first.

Answer 10

he should have known the next minute after you decided to move out. you need to seek counseling on how to effectively communicate with others. grow up and talk to the man you owe him that much. GodBless