is this abuse?

Question

i think my bf is the one i want to marry
i lost my virginity to him and i love him
but he is going thru something and i made him mad and he punched me
he only did this once and i still want to be with him
so is this abuse

im 17 and he is 18

i get he shouldnt have done that
but i called his mom a B itch

and i dont believe a person should have sex until they with the person they will marry and im in love with him

Answer 1

It starts with a hit. And you forgive him. He hits you again. Still you forgive. Then by the third time it becomes clear that he has no problems hitting you. and then there is nothing to forgive. All it takes is that one hit, he promises he will never do it again, and he makes up for it for a few months. But it's an easy trap to fall into to, and once you're in it, you'll just be stuck.

First of all, yes it is abuse and he could be arrested for assaulting a minor. Chances are he would get only a few years for that. But wait, not so fast...he slept with you. Oppss..looks like at least 10 years for statutory rape, and top that off with registering as a sex offender. If your parents were to report him, he would be booked for two felonies. So answer your own question: do you really want to be with this guy who mistreats you, maybe it's only once in a while. But so long as you let him, he's going to keep treating this way, even after you guys are supposedly married. Maybe it was just a one time thing, but that's the rest of your life you're saying you want to spend with this guy. Do you really want that with a would-be sex-offender who could spend over 20 years in prison for the way he has treated you already?

Answer 2

Hun, I know you are in a very difficult situation right now but you need to do what is best for you. Your boyfriend has a severe anger issue and is obviously violent. He may have just punched you once so far, but what will happen if he gets angry again? He may hit you again and you do not need to risk that. I've been in an abusive relationship and actually had my hand severly broken because I made the guy angry. My older sister was also in an abusive relationship for over 4 years- he kept apologizing and would make up for it then he would continue to hit her. She was hospitalized twice with severe injuries and finally decided enough was enough and that he if he really loved her, he wouldn't hurt her.
You need to get out of the relationship now for your own safety.

Answer 3

Don't buy into his act. He shouldn't have hit you. There's a high chance you won't be together in 5 years. Most high schoolers hardly get married or stay together once they go to college. I thought the same thing about my boyfriend when I was 15. He was 17 and I got pregnant. He left when I was 2 months pregnant and now I have a 2 year old son who I am rasing by myself. I haven't heard from him in 3 years. What are you going to do if he hits you again or leaves you when you get pregnant?

Answer 4

He's not the one. The one doesnt punch you! You can go through some heartache now and move on to a more promising future or you can wait five years and go through agony of these issues...which will come up again, divorce, separation of your family if you have kids with this guy. Is this what you dream for your future! Be smart and get out!

Answer 5

dont take this wrong but your only 17 i'm sure you can find other people older/younger/same age who will treat you alot better than that. what do you think will happen if one day you have kids? it will scar the kids if they see the dad punching their mum. I would also suggest that you leave him because men who do that are just cowards who bottle up there rage and then take it out on their mrs, its not right for you to put up with that and it will now more than likely happen again and next time could be worse

Answer 6

Yes, it is absolutely abuse and will happen again.

I would suggest calling a woman's shelter and getting their advice. It wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to some of the women who have been in abusive relationships. I'd bet a fair amount of the relationships started out just like what you have described.

Answer 7

If he punched you then that is domestic violence and abuse.
If he did it once I am 100% sure he will do it again. If I was in a relationship and I was hit 1 time. I will leave immediately.

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Answer 8

ok. i should say this: it's not a good idea to hit females and they should be respected as the next.

also, if a guy hits a women, yeah it could happen again, but it doesn't always happen that way, it could be stress, could be something else, who knows. but you, or any other female, doesn't deserve to be hit like that.

i just don't get how this is qualified as abuse, how did he hit you? how hard did he do it? was is more of a shove than a smack or something (i know some women who get that confused sometimes - not saying you are though).

Answer 9

yes anytime a man hits a woman its abuse especially when its out of anger. it doesnt matter how mad you made him, no man has the right to hit a woman. love doesnt come from the fist so if he hit you then he doesnt really love you to begin with. if he claims to love you and you stay with him and have kids, and he claims to love them too, just remember how he shows his love, is that worth the risk? because when he gets tired of hitting you then he will start on his kids also, and they always say they are sorrry and turn around and do it again, but its never their fault. they always lay the blame on you. so why chance it.

Answer 10

Okay believe me if he did it once he'll do it again and you forgiving him is giving him the okay that he can do it again and nothing is going to happen.... The next time he does it...it will be a harder hit and it will be worse............. This is abuse and you should get out of it before it gets worse...........I think he is very violent and you deserve better

Good luck with your decision