2007-11-10 13:37:55 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i mean if you found out they cheated while they were with you but before you got married
2007-11-10 13:56:44 · update #1
No
2007-11-10 13:48:50 · answer #1 · answered by John[nottheapostle] 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hopefully it was not something illegal, if so, and it was serious that is entirely another matter.
It sounds as if what your spouse did was a breach of trust, perhaps infidelity or something similar. Believe me, we all make mistakes, some are worse than others. The test is whether or not we are remorseful and truly want to change.
It is hard to forgive, but too many people look at marriage as temporary until things get tough. Marriage is about enjoying the highs and making it through the lows with hard work. It is not a fairy tale.
Examine what happened and try to forgive.
2007-11-10 14:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by SkyLights90N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he cheated before you were married, and you obviously just found out. I honestly would not divorce him. You fell in love with him and yes he made a horrible mistake but if he came clean and is honest with you, I do think you should forgive him. If you can not forgive him or feel you will be able to trust him again then YES the relationship should be over.
AND when they say once a cheater always a cheater, well that is just not true in all cases.
2007-11-10 14:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not, people change, and many people make some very bad decisions and terrible mistakes in early stages of their life. When a relationship starts, it means both people are new, fresh and beginning a new adventure together. You cannot hold a mistake someone made, before your time together, against them. You can talk about it, let your spouse know that you and concerned, give your opinion, but don't leave them for it. It truly doesn't matter what they did, as long as they've truly grown as a person and are being true to you.
2007-11-10 13:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by dbmd56 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well...it depends on the nature of his act. It would have to be pretty bad because if it's something like cheating on an ex-girlfriend or something it doesn't involve you. However, if I found out my husband had done something horrific or something, I'd have to get a divorce. I wouldn't be able to live with it.
It just depends on the situation.
2007-11-10 13:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what he did. If he had affairs, or was a regular party guy then no, what was before me stays before me.
If he robbed banks or killed people then I probably would divorce him.
I found out, after we were living together, that my husband had children. I still stayed with him and we have been together 10 years.
Good Luck
2007-11-10 13:51:01 · answer #6 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question is subjective to what and how bad the issue is that they refused to tell me before we got married. If she was convicted of murdering her 3 previous husbands then I would have to leave. If I found out she had been abused and raped or drugs or something of that nature, then frankly I would be mad that she didn't trust me enough to tell me but it wasn't my business since it happened before I knew her. There are different catagories of actions to act on case by case.
2007-11-10 13:46:41 · answer #7 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY! You were still in a monogomous relationship. Besides if he could do that to you is it possible he could cheat on you again even now that yous are married? Ever hear of the saying once a cheater always a cheater?
2007-11-10 14:27:17 · answer #8 · answered by Shifty_Pink 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did you find out? Did he murder someone? Is he a pedophile? Then I would leave.
Otherwise, we all have a past. You can't hold something against someone before you knew them. If he hasn't been messing up since you married him, obviously he has changed because of you. Which means he loves you, so you shouldn't hold it against him if it isn't that serious.
2007-11-10 13:44:17 · answer #9 · answered by nutty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
then again it would depend, like if he molested a child, yes!
If he had another relationship or something stupid no. Marriage is a lot of hard work, both partners need to work at it. It is too easy to just call it quits when the going gets tough.
2007-11-10 14:04:23 · answer #10 · answered by charm1936 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, well I would be hurt but how is your relationship now? How long ago was this? Is he sorry? How did you find out? I would not divorce him over just this....I would want to discuss it and find out why...it all depends on how long ago it was, last week or 15 years ago....look at the big picture you know?
2007-11-10 14:33:09 · answer #11 · answered by Emme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋