Another concern involving my husband. Do I have the right to have an opinion?

Question

My husband is heavy on my mind tonight I guess...

Anyway..he is 39, I am 24. About three years ago he told me (we have been married a year this December) that he wanted me and he was going to do what it took to "win me". :P (I never told him, nor hinted that I thought he should lose weight. I just ..can't do that. Not to anyone!)

Since that time he has lost about 140 lbs (he says) because he felt his "young wife deserves to be with a man who at least looks like he is young".

First of all 40 is a young age! Good grief. :P Second, it is starting to freak me out. He weighs about 180 now and I think he is just perfect. He tells me he is working on losing more. I don't want him to! Do I have a right in telling him that? He exercises in some way everyday, which I know is good. But he pushes himself to much it seems. He says he wants to lose another 20 before May 2008.

!!!!!

Answer 1

sweetie he is 40 yrs old now and maybe at his desired weight that would be healthy for him. but tell him that maybe you think that 10 more pounds would look good and that you are happy at the weight he is, after all he is doing this all for you. inform him that he is fine at the weight and that you love him regardless of his weight. he should probably go to the doctor and get check out to make sure everything is good and healthy. you need to grow up and communicate to your husband. its not your boyfriend you owe him to be honest and truthful no matter if it hurts his feelings or not. that is what marriage is about. GodBless

Answer 2

The great thing is your hubby is working out and eating right. That is a good thing. Losing a pound a week is doable too. I am assuming he is close to 6 foot tall which is a good weight for that height.

Now as I understand it, you married a man that was 6 foot, 36, and weighed 340 pounds. I am sure that sex was not the great attraction because at that weight he would have trouble breathing and maintaining an erection. So he must obviously have enough money to make you feel secure in your marriage nest and that is why you consented to be his "trophy" wife.

Now you are scared because he is still on this journey because even though he is tremendously healthier he is still pushing and what happens to you when he gets there? I think that telling him that you respect him is all you need to do and you will win his heart forever. Men will kill for this.

Answer 3

Depending on how tall he is and what his body is like, it is ok to lose some more weight. You should keep an eye on him though. If he is losing too much and is skinny, then he could be suffering from anorexia. It could just be that he has set a goal for him to reach his ideal weight. He is so motivated by how much he has lost that he doesn't want to stop until he gets to that goal. Just make sure he is getting his vitamins in and maybe even have a doctor look at him to make sure all of that weight loss hasn't hurt him any. The doctor will alleviate any worries that you may have about his weight loss. : )

Answer 4

Sounds all good to me, what is really bothering you? Something you aren't saying, think about it, are you threatened, or feel he may be getting too healthy looking, and is attracting attention that he had never gotten before? I am not being smart azz, I am serious, it has to be hard for you because 140lbs is like a different person. He has to have changed in many ways. Maybe join him and try to get the workout fever too. It would freak me out if the man I married changed into a totally different man. You need to talk to him more or get more honest with yourself about what it is about it that is bothering you. I can see a ton of things about it that might be bugging you, but only you know. Good Luck JJ

Answer 5

You do have a right to an opinion. It's great that he is thinking of his appearance on your behalf. If he is at a weight you like, then tell him how much you like his appearance, and tell him often. If he starts to go too far the other way, tell him how perfect he was at 140lbs. Also mention that muscle weighs more than fat, so weight is not as important as appearance.

Answer 6

If it is a serious problem, just tell him you are concerned for him because you love him. Tell him you think he's perfect the way he is. You said that he wants to lose the weight for you. So tell him it will make you less attracted if he loses anymore weight.


Tell me how it works out =]

Answer 7

First of all you are his wife and if he looks good to you the way he is right now then tell him so. your concern because he is pusihing himself to lose more weight let him know why you think he should stop pushing himself.

good luck

Answer 8

Of course you have the right to an opinion! But don't try to force him to see things your way. Tell him what you think, but if losing a bit more weight would make him feel better about himself, that's his decision.

Answer 9

think of long and demanding. If she did it to him, what makes you think of she does not do it to you while she have been given bored or issues did no longer bypass her way. Any relationship is for specific to have rocky moments. If she will't paintings via those along with her important different and consistently seeks convenience and solace from different adult men, you too shall quickly be in the different mans shoes. If she needs to bypass away her husband it quite is her determination. make effective she is familiar with you're no longer romantically fascinated in her so she does it for herself, no longer for you. it rather is a situation you do no longer want to be in the midst of (anymore than you already are).

Answer 10

Yes you have a right to your opinion. Tell him that he has lost enough weight and that you think he looks hot the way he is. Tell him to exercise to stay healthy and maintain what he has accomplished but please do not lose any more. See what he says. He is trying to make you happy so make it very clear that you are happy.