Why do you think I would get 4 thumbs down for choosing not to breastfeed in public becuase I am modest?

Question

I answered a Q earlier about breastfeeding in public. Some1 asked how other mothers do it. I wrote:

"I dont do it. I am going 2 one day bcuz I'l have 2 Im sure I'll end up having 2 for some reason, but 4 now I am home in time 4 her feeding, in the car or near a mommys rm or nursing rm. Im modest & its personal between my baby & I."

So I am still in public, just out of direct sight of others. I am modest & would rather have a quiet place 2 breastfeed like a mothers rm or be home by the time my baby is ready 2 eat. I believe it's a personal time 4 my baby & I 2 b alone. Of course if the situation arises 4 my baby 2 be fed in public bcuz I got caught out too long etc, I'm going 2 feed her or prepare by bringing pumped milk bcuz bottles r ok 2 have every once in awhile & I know it's my milk. I hope others aren't pressured in2 public feeding. It's a personal choice, to each their own :-)

So why do you suppose I would get "thumbs downed" Curious.

I answered with a different perspective in case their was some pressure about having to breastfeed in public. She was unsure of how to do it and how to be comfortable doing it. I suppose that no one would want to feel like it's something they HAVE to do just because it's a natural process or occurance.

Answer 1

I think because many feel like you're hiding. Many who do it in public feel like the more it is advertised the more common it will become. Breastfeeding does not get their logos plastered in magazine or mailing coupons or in hospital bags.

It is a personal choice, and it is something between your baby and you. No one will argue about that. It's awesome that you're sticking to breastfeeding, it would just be nice to help promote breastfeeding too. Not run to your car or make sure you're home in time.

I didn't give you a thumbs down, but I would not have given you a thumbs up either. Sorry, but I like to advocate, promote, encourage, support, and advertise that I'm breastfeeding. I want people in the mall to see my baby facing my chest instead of facing up w/ a bottle... I can do it modestly w/out showing off my breast, though I sometimes did it while showing off a little bit of my chubby love handle hanging over the top of my pants!!

But if you feel the need to do that, and that's what keeps you breastfeeding to 12 months and beyond... then do whatever makes you feel good... because getting your child off to the best start is the most important part!!

Answer 2

While there were times that I would seek out a dressing room at the mall, or even go to my car to breastfeed, sometimes it was not possible. Also, as I became more comfortable with myself as a breastfeeding mother, I eventually did not see the point in hiding so that I could feed my baby. I was never one of those mothers who would "whip it out," but I would do it wherever, whenever, and I didn't really care how it made other people feel. I was within my rights, and there is no way I was going to go to a disgusting bathroom or, when I became more comfortable with NIP, deny my hungry child their food while I went off to hide to make other people comfortable. I don't really care what people think. Now that I am having my third child and will be nursing again, there is no way I would be able to go to a more private place out in public with my older ones with me. That would be more distracting than doing it in the middle of the mall.

And I do have to comment on your grammar/net speak. I absolutely hate it when people write like that. It's incomprehensible and shows a lack of education.

Answer 3

Some people just rate down answers because they don't agree with them or part of them,or they are bored and have nothing better to do, or want to stir the pot, etc... and not necessarily on the validity of the answer or how well the person answered the question.

Your answer sounds fine to me.

Some may feel like mothers shouldn't feel the need to be modest in public and should just feed wherever, whenever, without concern to just get it out there. Others feel that mothers should never breastfeed in public. There's no way to please everyone.

I'm sure we'd all like it if everyone just had no qualms about doing it and no qualms about seeing it, and then it would be a non-issue. Unfortunately, that's not the way it is, so I think mothers should just breastfeed wherever they feel comfortable doing so.

Answer 4

Maybe because the other mothers thought that you were insinuating that it's better to breastfeed in private, for everyone. If you're modest, do what is comfortable for you. I think it's great that you're breastfeeding period! So many women don't.

I think our society needs more mothers to breastfeed in public so that our society gets used to it. We're pretty puritanical and the whole idea that something natural like breastfeeding should be hidden is sad. Particularly when people walk around half-naked and get breast implants. Breastfeeding should be looked at as a wonderful and natural thing.

If you're not comfortable doing it in public, then don't. No biggie.

Answer 5

I didn't give you a thumbs down but here's why I think you got some:

Because we need more women nursing in public to show everyone that it is normal, natural, and not something to be ashamed about--certainly you shouldn't feel immodest if you are nursing in public: that's what breasts are for.

I want other women to be proud about feeding their children. We need to normalize nursing in public so that women stop getting dirty looks or getting thrown out of places.

I respect that you feel like you're being modest by avoiding nursing in public, however, when you avoid it, it says that's there's something to be ashamed about--and there's not! I'm a very religious person, I don't even wear sleeveless shirts, so I get the modesty thing, but I do nurse in public.

The other thing it could be is the grammar thing you're doing with the "2" instead of "to", some people don't like that because it seems juvenile.

Answer 6

Maybe they didn't like your answer? Seriously it's not that big a deal if people give you thumbs down, people get it here all the time for no real reason other then someone didn't like the answer. Maybe they didn't like the way you used "net speak" to answer, some people don't like that. You have no idea if it actually had anything to do with the content of your answer, or if it was the way you presented it.

I don't see why you needed to make a whole other question about it, it's really not that big a deal.

Answer 7

Some people gives thumbs down very easily and simply because they have a different opinion to yours. To me, I will breastfeed whenever and wherever but I know that is my decision and don't look down on people for doing otherwise.
My only other thought is maybe your use of the word modest may have led people to think that you were implying that they are not modest.

Answer 8

I breastfed, wherever and whenever but I always did it modestly (covered with a light blanket.) The law in our state says a mother can breastfeed anywhere as longs as she is modest. This is being reconsidered because it is unconstitutional for them to instruct mothers to breastfeed modestly.

Answer 9

I have no idea. Each mother is different, as is each pregnancy. I for one probably will not breast feed in public unless it's an absolute need/emergency. It shouldn't matter to others, you are not impressing your ways on them and they should respect that and do the same for you. If you want to breast feed in public, fine! If not, people shouldn't criticize your personal choice.

Answer 10

You do not not breastfeed in public 'because you are modest.' To say as much effectively says that women who go about the business of feeding their children as nature intended are _immodest_.

having or showing an exaggerated opinion of your importance, ability, etc; "brash immodest boasting"
offending against sexual mores in conduct or appearance
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Thus: thumbs down.

You may be neurotic, you may be priggish, you may be a prude, you may have hang-ups about your breasts, whatever -- but don't pretend it's "not offensive to sexual mores in conduct or appearance " (same on-line dictionary) for you to breastfeed privately; to do so, again, calls other women immodest.

That mite b y u gotted thumz downs :-)


edit: "but in reality if they had to breastfeed there own baby in public they wouldnt. They would be modest or emberessed to."

Lady -- they're just ****. You have 'em (presumably), I have 'em. They are not a big goddam deal. You don't seriously think the _majority_ of women are nuts, stuck on "breasts = sex"?