He says it is because he feels fat and unattractive. Don't men want it not matter what? I mean I present myself well. I am attractive. I have other men who think my husband is an idiot. Although, they do not know why he doesn't want to do it. My husband says for me to make the first move. I get my thong on and wear a sexy top with no bra when we go to bed and I message him. Still nothing. Help!
2007-11-10 12:14:21 · 30 answers · asked by N8TIVEHUNNIE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No wonder 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce. Because people who don't know better try to give us their best advice, but the advice hurts sometimes more than it helps. Read through this website it'll help you understand the situation more. http://www.divorcebusting.com/sex_quiz.htm ... just one quick advice do you accept, appreciate and admire your husband and you let him know? For example, when he told you he feels fat and unattractive. Did you give him the feeling ya, that's true. Or Did you tell him I love you the way you are and then find something attractive in him and admire it. For example his strong arms, his height if he's tall etc. Hope this helps.
2007-11-10 14:14:00 · answer #1 · answered by hope 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. There could be lots of reasons that your hubby isn't interested right now. Don't think that he's going somewhere else as a first reaction. May be he does feel unattractive. If he's gained weight, he might think you will be turned off by his "looks" and try to find someone new. You can really screw yourself up mentally about these things if you have self esteem issues. By asking you to make the first move may be he's trying to convince himself you still think he's sexy.
And trust me, if he isn't feeling sexy he isn't cheating. He's probably "taking care of business on his own" if you get me- No risking any judgment there!
I would try some extra attention. Kissing and hugging. And remind him about all the reasons you love him AND all the reasons he turns you on!
2007-11-10 20:44:08 · answer #2 · answered by dunns_kitty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't go to bed...get creative, spontaneous and adventurous. He is likely leaving you hints that you either overlook or aren't excited about. Try new places, new things, positions, read a couple books about it. Trust me, if you put the effort into it, not only can you get him to sleep with you, but you will have him coming back for more and more. If all this fails, he might be cheating, gay, both, or just not attracted anymore. Also, be sure there isn't something tainting the relationship, a bigger issue or problem, that may need to be resolved first. Remember, guys have emotion too, we aren't sex crazed freaks all the time!
2007-11-10 20:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by dbmd56 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So he feels fat and unattractive? Well what is he doing about it? Why dont you both get a membership to a health club, work out together, get him into shape and also perhaps tone yourself up a bit, its always a good idea, and then maybe see if that improves things. If not, he has just lost interest in you, and sad as that sounds, it may be time to move on. I am sure that you dont want to spend the rest of your life just waiting around till he gets in the mood.
2007-11-10 20:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be blatant, grab it and put it where you want it. If he doesn't respond (you know what I mean), then there may be a deeper issue. He may just really be insecure or depressed. Once you get him going and he knows you don't have a problem with it, maybe he will start initiating things. Keep open communciation with him--help him lose weight if that is the issue. Tell him sex burns alot of calories.
If he doesn't respond to the above, have him see a doctor.
Good luck!
2007-11-10 20:25:52 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OH He's not gay and cheating.
He's just a little depressed. If he's hiding in the covers rip'em off the bed and turn off all the lights, talk dirty to him and don't touch him anywhere he feels he's unattractive. Keep your hands on his arms and shoulders. Tell him how excited he makes you and keep him on track, conversation will keep him from those self-belittling thoughts. :) I wouldn't try an antidepressant because they can cause sexual uninterest.
2007-11-10 21:03:34 · answer #6 · answered by mudpup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not the fat and unattractive. He is just not interested in sex. Sorry. You got one who doesn't care. You need to talk to him about your needs and what you expect from him. If he is not willing to perform, can you find a friend? Such a disparanging difference in sex drives is usually a deal breaker for most marriages. If you want to keep him as a husband, then you will need a toy. (either plastic or real)
2007-11-10 21:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are asking the wrong person, you need to ask him,
pick the right time when he is feeling good and you believe he's willing to open up to you.
You should not be letting any other men know of any of the problems you and your husband are having( especially sexually ones ) that 's a remedy for more problems
Your husband may be going through somes personal changes right now and may be in need of a friend or counselor.
I am hoping all will go well for you and your hubby.
2007-11-10 20:32:49 · answer #8 · answered by Joyous Dawn in the morning 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
easy ... tell him that he is fat indeed, and that you will help him lose weight and you will promise him to reach his goals, but however, you like him how he is right now. If he is intelligent, he will get the message and will have sex with you with love.
I have the same problem sometimes, I think I am fat and my wife will not think about me when we have sex. It is unfortunately a common thought among men, so understand it and face it.
2007-11-10 20:28:26 · answer #9 · answered by andreslh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know what, i have the same problem and actually asked this question a few days ago. I got some great answers that helped me alot (and some, of course, that weren't so great). If you want to read them, go to my profile. Its the only question I've asked, so it should be easy to find.
I still don't have the answer, but good luck on your search, and if you want to email me for support, feel free. I know how frustrating it is!!!!
2007-11-10 20:21:50 · answer #10 · answered by espionelite 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋