Christian young man with a mean wife threatening divorce. What to do?

Question

My wife and I have been married a little more than a year, but have been sleeping in seperate rooms since April (per her request for space). I have never cheated, lied, abused her or lacked in responsibilities and yet she treats me horribly. Her reason is that "she has no feelings for me". We are both Christians and went through Christian counseling prior to being married. Once we had problems we went back to the counselor who encouraged us to increase our relationship with God. I did so, she did not. In fact she refuses to go to church with me and spends every weekend with her family. I consider divorcing her almost everyday. I have not had sex, a home cooked meal, a hug, a kiss or a kind word since April. I work long hours and this marriage is taking its toll. Any advice from a Christian perspective as to how I can better deal with this situation. I do not believe divorce is an option, but some days I wish she would give me the papers and I would definately sign. thanks

Answer 1

If you want to save your marriage, then you need to continue your relationship with God and pray that He will turn her heart of stone to flesh. You need to do some spiritual warfare as well, since Satan is out to destroy your marriage.

Please check out Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp. They have a restored marriage after being divorced for about two years. They have a website and send devotionals everyday encouraging men and women to stand for their marriage and their spouse's salvation. Check out their archives.
https://rejoiceministries.org/devotion.php

I highly recommend that you sign up for Doreen's Devotionals called Doreen's Daily Delights.. These are awesome. http://marriagerestorationministries.org/

Here's another website for people standing for their marriages. They have a men's forum where you can talk to other men standing for their marriages. There is chat every week on Thursday nights. http://www.faithandmarriage.com/

Check out Jimmy and Karen Evans. They have a weekly tv show that discusses marriage. Their shows are on the internet that you can watch. Jimmy is excellent. Jimmy gives very practical guides on how to have a successful marriage. http://www.marriagetoday.org/

Also check out this link concerning divorce and remarriage. I think you will be surprised. Many churches are blinded to the truth and even encourage people to divorce. Satan is tearing the church and marriages apart.
http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com/divorceandremarriage.php#hatedivorce

Good luck and God Bless

Answer 2

Well cocaine addicts that's pretty hardcore there. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I am a Christian and there just is a point where if you're husband isn't really trying then he's really not caring about the marriage anymore. he's lying to you and he's not stopping the drugs...and that is not a good thing at all. It's just a matter of time before things take a turn for the worse. Although God hates divorce, He loves the divorcee and will help all who call upon Him. He wants to teach us how to love the way He loves. The definition of true love is "God is Love." Unless God is brought into a marriage they will never experience true love. People can experience an emotional feeling we call "love", however this is only one aspect of love in a marriage. The kind of love that is needed for any marriage to be successful is the the God kind of love because this love is not a selfish love. God's kind of love, loves even when that love is not reciprocated. One attribute of love is faithfulness and loyalty. A Christian marriage is based on trust in God and each other. If there is not trust anymore...then how can there really be a marriage? You need to do what is best for you and your kids. It seems like you have tried really hard, and that's all you really can do. You can't put in 100% while he's putting in 10%.

Answer 3

If you have only been married less than a year and she has been in a separate room since April, I think she may have married you for the security and possibly an annulment is possible but I do not believe God would frown on a divorce either in your case. remember the Bible says that a wife should be submissive to her husband and although I don't always agree with that in this case I think she does have to a little more than she does. there is a lot of scripture that I could find to give you as reason to file for the divorce but instead let me approach that this way. Christ died for our sins so that we could be forgiven even after we make mistakes so if you file for divorce, which I believe you should in this case, you will be forgiven even if it is a sin by asking forgiveness and continuing to walk in His path. Or put another way, God freed Daniel from the lion's den so I am sure he would free you from this as well. God is loving and he wants us to be happy so that if you are not, the only solution is the divorce.

Answer 4

While I understand you don't want to get a divorce bc so many people use it as a way out now a days, but I think you should also be realistic about what your saying, Its not as if you are not trying, but if she is unwilling to try than you don't have much of a marriage. The thing is, your marriage can fail whether get a divorce or not, and unfortunatley you seem to content with that. I think you really need to do some soul searching and find out why.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

I am not a big fan of casual divorce, but in this case, your wife has essentially already ended the marriage. You might as well finish the job. You've tried counseling, and that didn't work. You deserve a chance to make a life with a woman who shares your values and values your companionship and company.

Answer 6

Divorce is always an option. My father was a minister for 60 years. I was raised in the church. Don't believe the religious stupidity. Believe the BIBLE. It says that if a sinner (I.E. your wife since she refuses to develop a relationship with God and follow the head of the household in attendance to church) wishes to leave, let them leave and you are in no way bound to them. You are free to remarry without consequence and with the Blessings from God and the Bible. You need to ask her what she wants to do. If she wants a divorce, go file paperwork and get it over with. Don't let religion stand in the way of your relationship with God.

Answer 7

Honey, get on your knees and thank God for this blessing...End it and go on with you life. Seems to me that God has a plan for you and this one will make you truely happy. DON'T stay with someone who is mean, cause she doesn't really love you or she would want to suck up each and every breath you breathe. Good luck sweetie....

Answer 8

Divorce her. It is better than putting up with her attitude and controlling nature.

Answer 9

Honestly, do you really believe God wants you to continue to suffer in a marriage that your wife does not want to take part in?

Answer 10

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