My Unlce and his kids. (my cousins)?

Question

well my uncle and aunt divorced about 3-4 years ago. They got married when they were young and had 2 children. Alex-5 Ian-3
Well they got divorsed when alex was 1. Since then My uncle has been living with his mom. (my grandma) and everytime he has time with the kids i baby-sitt them and he spends no time with them. Today when i was done baby-sitting them he spent time with them but they were really sad that we left and started to cry because they really like me. What should i do?

p.s. My uncle got fired from his job and he lives with a friend and there house is so dirty and gross what should i do. Thankx for reading and thanks for answering.

Answer 1

Tell him exactly what you feel. Also maybe you could ask him if he wants to go to a movie or bowling or even out to eat with them and you would go to. That way he knows that he doesn't have the full responsibility of watching them because you will be there too. Try to get him to spend some time with his kids. They need it. Is he a good father? It just worries me that the kids cry when you leave. I would make sure that they are being treated right. Ask them.

Answer 2

Hi Blake, I'm not really sure what you are asking for here, but I'll give it whirl. Are you concerned about the kids being upset because they had to leave but wanted to stay with you? And, you want to know how you can make it so they CAN stay with you for the whole visit, and not have to go to that other house?? And you said "they were really sad that we left" who is "we"?? You and your parent or Grandmother I hope.
If he is abusing his visitation rights, you can contact their Mom, and have her contact her Lawyer. Then, the courts will change the visits. I don't know what state you live in, but some States have Grandparents Rights where the kids can visit the Grandparents, and you would still get to see them. If they cry when it's time to leave, always reassure them that you will see them again. In a different situation, we had a little girl who would occationally stay with us. And to be secure in the knowledge that she HAD to come back, she would leave something here. One of her socks, or a book - something like that. In her mind that meant that she would have to come to my house to get it, and she would get to see me again!!!! See? Those little minds are NOT dumb, so tread very carefully when you deal with them.
Another thing, if your Uncle isn't working, how is he paying child support?? He could lose visitation rights just for that alone. I'd find out right away about Grandparental Rights, and even Your rights to have them visit. They ARE your cousins!!! I hope this helps. My best to you.

Answer 3

You are their best friend. They even may look up to you as a parent figure. They have fun with you. You show them daily attention that every child needs love, and discipline. They aren’t getting this from their father. I would talk to the children tell them that they can talk to you about anything. They can trust you. You will protect them. You will always be there for them no matter what. Maybe they will let you know if they are being abused. See if they can open up to you. If you feel that they are being abused invest in some nanny cams. Get one for their bedroom, front room this way you can see what all happens when your not around. If they are being abused then you have proof and can take action. You can purchase nanny cams in almost anything now days. Radios, clocks, stuff animals, mirrors, the list is endless.
If you see absolutely no abuse they may not like being around their dad because he does nothing with them. Sit down with your uncle and talk to him his children need him more now than ever. Divorce is hard not only for the parents but the children that are in the middle. They are feeling that they are left out. With mom not being around and the father isn’t showing attention that the children need. Tell him if he wants to make an impact on their life’s to spend as much quality time with them as possible. They need guidance and shown love by him. He needs to show his children they are more important than life itself. Go over and tell him its family time break out the board games like candy land, go to the park, or bake something. The kids, uncle, and you. If he doesn’t spend time with them they will just rebel against him. That he can only blame himself. Take him around some positive people. He is at rock bottom right now, but the bad thing is he’s taking his children along with him. He needs to get out of the gutter and change for the sake of his children in a big hurry. If he doesn’t then I would do like someone suggested Grandparents rights.
If he looses his children he is only to blame!!

Go over and help them clean the house. Its one thing for children to live in a house with their toys spread through out the house. This would be considered lived in with love. Children shouldn’t have live in a disaster. They have to look out for the well being of the children. Having a home that looks like a disaster children can easily get hurt, or worse. It’s also a fire hazard. If he wants to keep his children then it has to be picked up. Tell them you will help them clean their house but everyone will be helping not only the children but also the adults. When this is done daily this will teach the children responsibilities. If the adults don’t show responsibilities how is the children to know.

Sounds like when your uncle moved out of grandma’s house things have got worse. He went from a caring, support environment to living with a friend that doesn’t care for the safety of his children and jobless. You need to tell him this is his wake up call. Get off his butt get a job to support his children, find a different place to live. This will not only help his children but will make him more of a responsible father. Tell him to put the well being of his children first.

Answer 4

i think you should help out by baby sitting them only when he's out there helping himself by getting a job...he basically is depending on u cause he knows u will watch them while he lounges around...he needs to spend more time with them otherwise they're never going to bond with their dad...i know it sucks cause they have a filthy house and all that but remember he needs a reality check and take care of his kids..but it would be a good idea to still keep tabs on them...

Answer 5

Tell your Uncle you love him BUT, he is the dad, and he HAS to be responsible to the kids & self. He sounds depressed, but he needs to wake up! Help get him fired up!!