Please help at home with a 7 day old preemie baby and I dont know what to do and just want advice?

Question

My daughter was born on Nov 3 2007 “which was the past sat” at only 35 weeks. She weighed 4 pounds 10 ounces but passed all her test and was able to come home Monday when I did. I love my daughter to death but Im going threw so much right now so I had some questions and hope someone can answer some of them that has had a preemie. Its hard for my husband and I to make her stay awake to eat is there any tricks? She has a lot of hiccups but she had a lot of hiccups when she was inside me as well does anyone know when this will go away and do they hurt her? An now the BIG one. I haven’t slept since we got home from the hospital on Monday just a few hours when I knew for sure I mean really sure that my husband was ok with her and promised he wouldn’t fall asleep even then I still couldn’t sleep. I know people say you should sleep when your baby sleeps but she is so little that I can’t sleep thinking some things going to happen.

My husband has to work so he has to sleep at night because of his work and he has to work right now. An yes I have family and they are good to me but all have jobs and I think its more me having problems letting people watch her then again no ones really offered too just came to see her. I afraid Im not going to wake up in time to feed her or I won’t hear her cry but she really doesn’t cry at all either. I know I could put up an alarm clock to my ear and stuff but still afraid I wont wake up. Yes Im rambling sorry but thank you for any help. One more thing my husbands family is starting to talk behind my back and saying that im being too over protective and so now I don't want them around thinking there all aginst me and its upsetting my husband and were starting to fight a lot and we've never fault in are 3 years of marriage before?

Answer 1

You are tired and this causes stress. His family needs to back off. You do need to get some sleep, so why not get grandma (his mom or yours) to take some time off and watch the baby so you can get some sleep. Once you get sleep things will feel better. Also keep an eye on how you are eating and maybe also look at taking a walk at least for a short bit each day. You really do need to accept help from other people, it is very hard to try to do it all by yourself..

Answer 2

I know how you feel. I have been there. Just take it one day at a time. It is a really big adjustment. My niece was a preemie and born at 4lbs 6 oz. She had trouble staying awake to eat too. You can try to massage her cheek while you feed her, it is a reflex to get them to suck. I didn't sleep either and found it hard to sleep when my baby sleeps. She is now four months old and sleeping pretty much through the night. To get me through those sleepless nights in the beginning, I would just think to myself this is only going to be a few months and women have been having babies for millions of years, if they could get through it, then so can I! I am also very neurotic and my husband and I argue alot due to that. It is hard not to be overprotective. She is your baby and she is a preemie. Don't worry, you are doing just fine. Keep it up. My husband works long hours too and I started working again when my daughter was 2 months old and I am taking care of her. It can be frustrating that you are the primary caretaker, but men are difficult in that area.

Answer 3

I went threw this. I stayed awake for 3 days cause my preemie didn't cry! I was so scared. On the 4th day my mom showed up with a pad you can buy. If the baby moves it sets of an alarm. If god for bid baby stops breathing it sets off an alarm.
My mom stayed with me that 4th night. She stayed awake and I slept by the baby. When the baby needed me I heard her and woke up. My mom came in the room every time and smiled at me. After that night I knew I would hear her. I took the pad back to the store because my mother showed me I was going to be okay. Thank god for mom! Find someone to do this for you. They sit with baby you sleep but when baby needs you you know they can wake you if the baby don't you'll see you can do it. Or you can buy the pad! Also If she don't wake for a feeding its okay just feed baby when they wake. My daughter was 2lbs 14oz. Dr. told me not to force feed every three hrs. Just let her sleep if she wants to.

Answer 4

If the baby was able to come home she will be fine,If this is your first child try to relax, trust me when she do cry you will be able to hear her, for now keep her in a crib next to you, new Born's tend to sleep most of the day, when she is ready to eat she will cry, need to be changed she will cry, want to be played with she will let you know, all you need to do is figure out which is which at that time, sometime it could be all three, right now this is the easy part, enjoy this time, and trust me the family thing its only the begging, and ask me how I know I have 6 kids ages 6mo-8yrs all boys 10 year relationship. I wish you and your family the best, I always wanted a GIRL

Answer 5

You just described me about 4 months ago :-) I was exactly the same, and my baby was born late! It's new mother stuff, and almost everyone goes through the exact same thing. The first few weeks are hard until you get the hang of it. I could never sleep when she slept, either, but I think it would have been better if I'd tried! You're doing fine. This time will pass, and it will get better. But, as my mom told me, you will NEVER stop worrying about your child...never, so you might as well get used to the worry.

Answer 6

Because your baby is a preemie, she will not act like a newborn baby. Preemies and newborns as well typically do not eat very much. Babies have an internal measure that tells them when to eat and when not to, so as long as she gains weight, it is okay for her to fall asleep and not eat. The hiccups are common as well, so don't worry about that. You really MUST take time to sleep, as so much of our emotions, and physical abilities (reaction times, judgment etc are affected by lack of sleep). If at anytime you are worried, call the nursing line at your doctor's office, they are used to new parents calling with questions, even ones you think might be silly.

Answer 7

Okay hold the phone. There is not over protective at this age. Dont EVEN let yourself go there. She's your life right now, and she NEEDS you all the time, ESPECIALLY because she's so early.

Okay, that said- do you breastfeed? That changes a lot of things, you can get more sleep when you breastfeed than when you bottle feed, if you can get someone to help you set up your bed properly you can sleep and nurse at the same time when she's a little older and more able to function and make noise and turn her head. if you dont, its okay. Get some baby water, and some formula, and a stash of bottles in the bedroom. Mix bottles each feeding and run it under hot tap water (or sit it in a bowl of hot tap water), so you're not running back and forth. Have dad wash them all up in the pm, or you can wash them when you get up to shower or whatever.

This is what you're going to have to do. Accept the fact that for the first couple weeks your world is the bedroom. Your life is feeding, changing, and sleeping. You have GOT to get caught up on your sleep, it effects her and is dangerous for you both. Set her up in your room. There is no reason why she cannot sleep right next to your bed. Atleast for the first few weeks. You'll sleep better knowing you can hear her and see her all the time. If you're not feeding her, or changing her, you're sleeping. Thats just all there is to it.

Put a message on the machine, and a note on the door: We love you, but the baby and mom need time to get caught up before visiting.

If people want to be pissy about it, let them, they WILL get over it when you're back into the social lime light.

And it is TOTALLY normal not to be able to sleep unless she's right next to you, even if it is dad watching her. I couldnt even sleep in the hospital when the nurses had my son, he had to be in the bed with me or I couldnt sleep. Theres nothing wrong with that.

Hiccups dont hurt her, theyre part of her digestive and lung development.

Answer 8

You are suffering from new mom nervousness. Relax, take a nap when baby takes her nap. If she falls asleep while having her bottle or nursing, it's ok. She will still suckle if she is hungry or will stop if she is full. It just means she is comfortable and content. Remember, she will probably only drink and ounce or two as little as she is. Hiccups are natural and not at all painful, it's just a little gulped air. A good burp should settle them down.
Take care and congrats.


I would like to add, please talk with your doc about post partom issues.

Answer 9

I couldn't agree with the 3rd answer more.... well said.

I wish you the best of luck!