I've been dating a guy for sometime now and our time has been a roller coaster ride. He's got kids which are #1 to him which I understand however I feel I'm always put on the back burner.
He doesn't invite me out when he takes them out, I feel he never says he loves me anymore nor makes time to visit.
I try to be the best person I can. I even got some words from an ex of his that I'm nothing special. He didn't have to much to say about it.
I hate being alone and I know I'm hanging on for the wrong reasons. I just want things to be the way they use to be. I feel very depressed about it and from time to time he says he wants to live with me and then says I'm a slob (which I'm not) and then doesn't want to live with me.
Does someone have any advice?
2007-11-10 09:33:14 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, I know of a very similar situation. The woman idolizes this guy and he treats her like shiit. He likes her, but he doesnt love her. He enjoys her pay check coming in each week to help pay for the expenses. He reckons shes a slob too. He rarely says anything nice about her. But she just hangs around putting up with his lack of attention and abuse if you ask me. As much as you want him to love you, it is clear he doesnt. When you find the courage to want more for yourself, you will find a man who trully loves and respects you. You are too "into" him and he is not returning your love. You feel like a fifth wheel and its time you demanded something better for yourself. While ever you put up with his treatment, nothing will change. Maybe counselling will help you find where you left your self esteem. I wish you a lot of luck in finding it again. Take care.
2007-11-10 09:45:09 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My main guess would be that he's not bringing the kids around you because he's a really caring parent and doesn't want to bring kids into his new relationships. I commend him for that. I think that's a huge mistake that lots of dating parents make, especially when the kids are younger.
And you know, why would you want someone that's not giving this his all, 110%. With or without kids....it's just not the way I would want to be in a relationship. I think you need to reevaluate and figure out if this is the type of person you see yourself with long term. Because it seems to me he's sending signals to say he's not really interested in a committed and serious relationship.
I think you need to be upfront and bring it to the table. Ask him where you stand with him or if you should go elsewhere. If he's not serious and obviously you want to be, then that's not the man for you.
I say move on from him and have some "you" time for yourself. Get your spirits picked back up again and worry about men another time.
2007-11-10 17:42:44 · answer #2 · answered by Momto2inFL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all that you listed.........what are you holding on to and why?How does this relationship benefit you ? Sounds like you've invited a lot of time in this relationship and you don't want to accept what he "really wants".It's safe to say the "Ex" knows because she was nothing special to him either because he's not looking for special.
That said the two of you (you and your boyfriend) may be looking for different things at this point in your lives.
You said it best yourself....................."FOR THE WRONG REASONS".
Sit down with him put it out there what you want and what you are looking for and ask him what he wants and is looking for from you.
2007-11-10 18:04:16 · answer #3 · answered by zhisz1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are selling your self short. Why are you giving all of your power up to this guy that isn't even being very considerate to take you out when he takes your kids out? I am a single mother but I always included my then bf, now fiance in our plans. I consider this to be insensitive. Why are you pinning all of your happiness on him? It seems like time to look over the field for a new player.
2007-11-10 18:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by Liss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some confidence in yourself and then find another guy who is nuts about you. You deserve the best or at least better than what you are getting.
2007-11-10 22:12:48 · answer #5 · answered by Titus12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I think that he doesn't want to be with you anymore. I think that you should find another guy without children. You may not think you will be able to find another b/f but you will. Before you know it you will be very happily in love with the right guy. (smile)
2007-11-10 17:45:18 · answer #6 · answered by Fergy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of this relationship. His priorities are his children and though you say you understand this, you are not respecting it.
The two of you obviously different priorities. I suggest you get out of this relationship and find someone without children.
2007-11-10 17:40:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie life is to short to in a relationship like that, there is someone out there who will love you, dont waist your life and time on a person who doesnt love you, good luck
2007-11-10 17:43:28 · answer #8 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find someone that can be #1 in there eyes, cause being #2 to something else sucks and your better off with someone else then trying and getting nowhere.
2007-11-10 17:45:19 · answer #9 · answered by Nessaja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
*Sweety you will NEVER be #1 in his life! Don't settle for the crumbs he is giving you! You are better than that!
2007-11-10 20:57:57 · answer #10 · answered by Me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋