I've moved out of our bedroom, separated our finances and if I could afford a lawyer right now I'd get one! I've tried being nice, thinking that would make it easier. But he goes through my checkbook to see what I'm spending money on, when I go out he calls to check up on me and gets mad when I don't answer. He actually sets his alarm clock for the middle of the night to see what time I get home. He constantly accuses me of cheating, which I am not. The only action I get is my vibrator!! He's been on Adult Friend Finder.com and answered at least 2 personal ads that I know of. Then there's Tasha from work who is in a tottaly different dept, but he called her at 11pm and doesn't remember making that call. That would be the best thing for me. I wish he would find someone else! But don't call me the cheater! I think he's even put spyware on the computer to see what I'm up to. So if he wants me back so bad, which is not going to happen anyways, why is he on the hunt for internet whores?
2007-11-10 08:47:24 · 13 answers · asked by mary rachel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you trully want a divorce and have fallen out of love with your husband, then it shouldnt matter what he does. Moving out of the bedroom isnt good enough. If you really dont want to be with him, then why drag out the inevitable? There is no use in trying to be nice. As much as you dont want to hurt him, you have to start thinking about the rest of your life. You need to move out of the house totally. Its obviously a waste of time trying to get him to move out. Move out and then there is no question as to your motives and he will have to accept that you dont want to be married to him. You cant protect everyone's feelings to the exclusion of your own. Its time you made your point and moved out. Neither of you will ever be able to move on whilever you are still living in the same house. You are probably giving him false hope by staying. If the marriage is over, then its time you showed him that it is.
2007-11-10 08:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to legal aid to see about getting an attorney that you can afford, file for the divorce and perhaps even talk to someone at a domestic violence shelter. He may not be physically violent but he is trying to control you which is abuse as well. If you house is in your name by some chance you may even be able to get a loan to pay for an attorney. Get out and get the divorce though because life is too short to put up with abuse, physical or mental. Good Luck to you!!
2007-11-10 09:33:43 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mary, you've been at this fork in the road before...
Physical seperation is the only key... get perspective... sleeping on the couch or the next bedroom is not going to help. Get out... get to a safe place and decompress.
Next step would be to consult an attorney... and at the same time, a marriage counselor.
I've seen your other posts... you have the makings of an explosive situation...
My prayers are with you.... May the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob bless you on your decision-making process.
2007-11-10 17:27:40 · answer #3 · answered by asgodintended 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a way to get an attorney. As long as you both live under the same roof, it will be impossible for you to have any privacy. Does your husband know "why" you want a divorce? Sounds like he is in denial. Maybe you can stay with a friend long enough to save $$ to at least file for separation/divorce papers. Good Luck !!!
2007-11-10 09:00:39 · answer #4 · answered by casper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The FIRST thing you do after telling them you want a divorce is MOVE OUT. Even if it's just into your car, a hotel room, a friend's couch, anything. Nothing sends the message of "I want to be separated from you" like being physically separated.
2007-11-10 08:54:26 · answer #5 · answered by Cunning Linguist 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move out. If you cannot take care of yourself now, how do you expect to do it in the future? You are acting like a child who has run away from home but sleeping in the tree house or the back porch.
2007-11-10 08:54:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
because the though of you with another man is driving him crazy.
You can't play unless you pay in most of those sites and if he is paying he playing.
Get on a friends cp and set him up, talk to him play with his head but don't let him know it is you. Then arrange a meeting with him, document it all make copy's and then throw it out there in his face as a cheat......use it in court.......or make him pay for the divorce
2007-11-10 08:55:12 · answer #7 · answered by thebaked 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U just file for one hun. U have a good reason, and if push comes to shove, u can Always move after the divorce,at least u will be able to start ur life over again . I wish u the best of luck .
2016-05-29 02:53:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you do the divorce your self? Maybe look in to that. But if you are that unhappy get out f*** the divorce for now. Leave him & then take care of it.
2007-11-10 08:57:02 · answer #9 · answered by faith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men go throw this syndrome its called: I don't wanna do right by you, but I don't want anyone else to have you" He needs a professional.
2007-11-10 08:57:19 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋