I'm gay, tried and true. I have known since i was about 7-8 years old but i am in no way camp, so i can hide it pretty well. I have had numerous encounters during high school which might sound slutty but it was a time of experimentation, everyone was unsure of there sexuality and i tried alot of things with friends. Not to be too unmodest but i think i am quite intelligent and i can lie and cover things up very easily, so if things got out i could always make up some excuse or another. Problem i'm having now is i want everyone to know, i can't go on living a lie anymore i just dont know how to tell people, and how they would react. My best friend is a devout christian and many times she has expressed to me how she feels homosexuality is 'wrong' and 'disgusting' and i know she will treat me differently and maybe even stop talking to me. I have the dilemma of living a lie or telling the truth and possibly losing friends and family. Any advice would be appreciated!
2007-11-10 08:42:30 · 11 answers · asked by Storm 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I forgot to say that i am 19 and in college
2007-11-10 08:43:34 · update #1
I've learned that ignorant people aren't worth my time. If your friend would start hating you for something ridiculous such as your sexuality, I would tell the broad to take a hike.
2007-11-10 08:48:00 · answer #1 · answered by Roswell 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You cannot live a lie, it will eat you up inside until nothing is left. That's just the plain truth of it.
I'm a Christian and a lot of the time I find that Christian views on gay issues are largely formed because they haven't actually sat down and though through what they believe. After chatting to my Christian friends, some have agreed with me and some haven't (and I respect that) but none have ditched me. Sometimes it just takes a human face on the issue.
If you have to start telling people start by telling 2 or 3 people you know won't have a problem with you being gay. That way they can support you if anything goes wrong along the way. Then tell the next few people who are closest to you, they will be very hurt if they find out last. After them you can tell everyone else.
It's probably not going to be a smooth ride, you may very well lose some good friends and have some fights. it will make you a stronger person and if you do it sooner there is less chance of someone random finding out and blurting it to everyone.
Good luck!
2007-11-10 10:25:02 · answer #2 · answered by Cameron H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember going crazy about the same thing before I came out to certain conservative and/or religious family members and other people that I had always hidden it around. I am more of a femme lesbian, so stereotypical appearance didn't give me away. But then when it finally happened - my grandma said she pretty much had always known that and nobody else was too surprised either. In fact I was the one freaking out then because they hadn't reacted in the way I was afraid they would! So, try to relax and you HAVE to be true to yourself. The sooner you come out, the better. It only gets harder the more you wait & you don't want to do that to yourself.
2007-11-10 09:37:13 · answer #3 · answered by Pookster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you what probably everyone will tell you, a real friend would stand by you, it's not like you choose to be gay, it just happens.If she wants to choose her religion over a true friend then you don't need a friend like that, same goes for everybody else. Everyone has views, but being small minded doesn't help anybody. If you loose friends over this, you are better off without them. Maybe people accept it as well, whatever the outcome is, I can understand why you don't want to hide it anymore.
2007-11-10 08:49:18 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer484 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is finally time for you to let everyone know that you are gay. It's really unfortunate that your best friend thinks that, i mean, that's a tough situation you're in there. But I still think you should tell her. You need to let her know that being gay is just who you are and you can't help it. She might reconsider her thoughts if you are such good friends. But even if she does blow you off, then she isn't your real friend because she doesn't like you for who you are. Don't continue to live a lie. Be yourself and be happy!
2007-11-10 08:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by Go Team! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm well....
this is going to sound weird come form some one younger then you but what ever
lets start with your best friend
if she is your best friend she should like you no matter what
and this is a time when you'll fined out who your true friends are and are not.
and don't live a lie
it hurts a lot after some time
o and i would first tell people you trust
and then once you feel confident tell those who you...well dont trust with your life
2007-11-10 09:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by poke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
coming out is hard... if you make it that way... I think the best thing you could do is simply behave as though everyone already knows... just do what you'll do ... don't abridge or edit yourself in any way... and then eventually when someone says "what are you gay or something?"... you say " absolutely....you?".... and live your life...
... and about your friends and family.... those that are true friends... and loving family will of course not abandon you... those that do... aren't worth it anyway...
2007-11-10 10:06:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well thats a problem we all face when we are coming out and let me tell you that u will loose some friends, thats inevitable. and w ur parents is a hole different story that will take place. but anyways take me for example, after coming out, i lost a handful of friends, some who i believed were my best frnds and that would always b there for me but they pushed me away, which hurt me, but i also came closer with others and came to realise which were my TRUE. after i made new frnds and the ones that chose to push me away are lvng life like we were never frnds which i could care less bout b-cus i live by my motto....if you accept it, good, if not then go fck urself....lol.. cus this is who i am. sry that i got lil long there but like i said u will lose frnds n get hurt but also gain new frnds that will be there w u for who u are n coming out will give u a feeling of freedom and relief...i hope all goes well w ur frnd and i wanna wish u best of luck.
2007-11-10 09:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by Jimbo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't lose your family. Just come out and tell them. They should love you no matter what.
2007-11-10 09:09:47 · answer #9 · answered by Emily~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do what you need to do. a true friend will be there for you no matter what.
2007-11-10 09:45:32 · answer #10 · answered by cheri h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋