He who receives ought never forget it, he who gives ought never remember it?

Question

There is an ancient Chinese proverb which goes "He who receives ought never forget it, he who gives ought never remember it". Would you agree with this sentiment? If so, could you please explain its meaning further, giving examples if you can.

[supplementary] In my career I had dealings on behalf of two internationally-known billionaire-entrepreneurs (no names because I am bound by confidentiality) and they were as different as chalk and cheese. The first gave substantially to charities through foundations but wanted the fact 'leaked'. The second also made substantial donations too but wanted genuine anonymity.

Answer 1

The saying you quoted, is probably originating from a Buddhist teaching.

Yes, I would totally agree with this sentiment of selflessness.

My grandmother was the most giving and humble people I will even have known. She understood what spirituality and faith where really about. Her relationship with God was a private one. She never spoke of religion; she never preached to others what the meaning of the bible was. In fact, when asked what her views were, she simply explained that her relationship with God was personal, and left it at that.
Only after her death did we learn of ALL she had contributed to the Church. Not only the $ value she donated, but also the art projects she helped the children with. She never once boasted about the gifts she gave. That is true giving.



"The Buddha taught some people the teachings of duality that help them avoid sin and acquire spiritual merit.
To others he taught non-duality, that some find profoundly frightening.

Even offering three hundred bowls of food three times a day does not match the spiritual merit gained in one moment of love.

All philosophies are mental fabrications. There has never been a single doctrine by which one could enter the true essence of things.

There is pleasure when an itch is scratched,
But to be without itches is more pleasurable still.
Just so, there are pleasures in worldly desires,
But to be without desires is more pleasurable still"

-Nagarjuna

Answer 2

A gift is not truly a "gift" if there is an expectation of return. So someone who is giving (in the true spirit of "giving") has no need to recall it, or to expect something from it. He/she gives for the sole benefit of the person receiving. Those who receive should be grateful for such an altruistic act. To remember it best would be to (perhaps) honor the giver by perpetuating the kindness shown- maybe toward someone else who is in need.

Example: Gift: Donating food to the food bank. Not expecting praise or payment in return. Receiver: being grateful for the kindness and generosity, and donating food (or something else?) to a charitable cause when you can afford to do so...or, helping someone else out who is in need.

Answer 3

I agree wholeheartedly with this Chinese proverb! There are two kinds of people that give; Those who give "gifts" that wish to be glorified for having given them and those who do not seek gratitude in any way. For those, the gift lies in the ability to help those in need without recognition.

Those who receive the benefit of someone else's labor or thought ought never forget the gift so willingly given in their time of need. We hope that they too, in their way, will give of themselves in some small way when they can do so. Giving does not always refer to monetary gifts, nor should it. The kindness you show your fellow beings in their time of need, if only to lend an ear or a shoulder, can sometimes help more than the dollar can.

Answer 4

Very simply, be grateful for what you are given. Make sure you say "Thank you"; and be grateful for all that you have in your life.
When you give, let it go, don't expect a "Thank you" because not everyone has your grateful spirit. Also, don't carry resentment against those who are not what you perceive to be sufficiently grateful to you for what you may have done for them or given them.

Answer 5

Does this refer to the giving of favors? It makes sense in that light.

Answer 6

That's right, be thankful, yet never boast of your generosity.